For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

yeah and this ain’t one of them

Your husband is weird

you didnt really think this through did you?
There are lots of things you would do with little children or a partner, but not older/adult children- bath sharing for one.

Not at all. It’s normal in our house. We are an affectionate family, it’s a very relaxed home environment. They sprawl on the sofa and will often just lay their head down on a cushion on my lap in front of the tv (and fall asleep).

definite toxic masculinity....

This says more about your husband than anyone else

My 19 year old son will still put a cushion on my lap and and fall asleep on it. Perfectly normal.

I love this!

I love snuggling my adult dc. They smell like grown up versions of their little child smell. Overlaid with perfume etc.

Dd smelt of melted butter when she was little and ds of toast and sunshine. They still smell like it now!

Your husband is the weird one.

When I stayed at my parents house with ds I’d get into bed with them and give my mum a cuddle and play a word game on the iPad with her. I was in my 30s. I miss her loads.

Agreed.

We are an extremely affectionate family, always hugging and kissing each other. Once my DS who is 13 was telling friends about it at school, and they all thought it was super weird. One even said "is your mum a paedo?" I was so upset by that comment. But on discussing it with my son, it sounded like his friends parent had seemingly stopped any physically affection, and were now treating their kids more like mates, than their own children which is not a parenting style I subscribe to. I felt sad that a bunch of 13 year olds, were already being starved of affection, from the people they should be able to access it from easiest. My eldest (DD19) is at uni and when she comes home she will happily climb into bed with me, or snuggle on the sofa, and DS is the snuggliest of them all. I call both of them my love leeches because they are always stuck to me lol. DS is taller than me, but will still lay on me like he did as a baby, and snuggle us in bed. I said to him will you still be doing this at 40? He laughed and said probably. He's just starting to get tiny little face hairs and I cant imagine stroking his face and feeling a beard but my children will never be turned away from a hug from me or their dad till I'm no longer here. If more children learned love at home, and could express it easier with each other and family I'm sure the world would be a happier place for it!

Agreed @Sillybert. I wouldn't necessarily initiate the laying head on my lap in case it made them uncomfortable, but if one of my DC approach me for physical closeness I will never rebuff them. It's not for me to police which of their emotional needs is "appropriate" and I never want them to feel they cannot ask for whatever emotional support they need.

DD is in her twenties and recently moved out. We frequently meet up to see a film or have a drink in a bar with comfy sofas. She often holds my hand and snuggles in with her head on my shoulder. It's lovely! I'm certainly not going to push her off!

No. I think it’s a bit odd that you’d simultaneously think of it both as something one would do with a young child and also something one would do with a lover. That’s some weird thinking right there…

If my kids ever need to lay their head in my lap I would never stop them. I would never make them though nor expect them to but if they need that support I’m more than willing. I’m in my 40’s and I’ve laid my head on my Mum’s lap when I’ve been really struggling emotionally. Just because it’s not something you would necessarily do it doesn’t make it wrong or abnormal

Yuck. What an awful man and a nasty thought.

My siblings and I would get into my parents (massive) bed in our pj's in the mornings for a chat when we stayed over/ at Christmas, well into our 20s.

I'm mid 40s and will still cuddle my dad on the sofa.

Well done you for looking after your poorly son.

Does nobody else see a big difference between hugging( normal at any age) and an adult lying with their head on mother's lap, which is something i think of mostly as lovers doing, or very young children.

Your DH is wrong! My DS is the same age and he would do the exact same thing. We're a very huggy/tactile family. My DH still hugs DS and gives him a peck on the cheek. And wouldn't think it was odd for him to lay like that, on either of us.
My parents seemed to stop being affectionate around age 11. We still hug hello and goodbye, but I wouldn't go to them because I need a hug. They are great parents, but it makes me a bit sad. I see how naturally affectionate they are with my kids and wonder when and why they stopped being like that with me. It sounds like your DH has the same weird timeline. I'll never stop giving my kids affection (I'd never be weird MIL though and be too tactile with DS in front of a perspective DIL 😅)

That makes his comment even worse then.

How sad that a mother and son can't have any affection without him saying a nasty comment about it.

Your husbands weird

Tell your husband from me that it sounds like somebody has mummy issues, and it's not you or your son!

Seriously, though, it sounds like his relationship with his own mother is not close or affectionate and therefore he can't compute one that is / feels quite confronted when he compares the two. Therefore he has to believe that your relationship is "weirdly close", outgrow he had to face the possibly that his with his mother is "weirdly distant" and that's upsetting.

Your DH is fucking weird to think it’s fucking weird.

My son is 12, completely NT and still asks if I want him to sleep in my bed when DH is on nightshift. He loves them snuggles. He also loves his dad snuggles too. I fully expect to be allowed to cosy up with my son on a settee no matter how old he gets.

OP your DH has issues and they're his to deal with, not anyone else's.

Your husband is being a dick.

Im nearly 40 and i still go and get into bed with my mum and dad, in the middle. These days i bring DC with me if they’re awake and we’re staying and relish in the chaos. I hope my son ALWAYS feels he can ask me for tactile comfort should he need.

This is a ridiculous point of view that a son can’t show feeling/ask for comfort when he sad or ill or struggling.

You need to have a serious talk with your husband, I think this way of thinking is dangerous and contributes to the high rate of male suicide in this country.

Men and boys have feelings too. Men and boys sometimes just need a fucking cuddle with their mum to make them feel better and providing their mother is comfortable with that then no one should ever comment on it.