To put my 3 year old back in nappies after a full year of potty training

I agree with this. My first 4 dc all trained between 2 and 2.5 and it was quick and easy, my youngest was 3, we left it later for a number of reasons and my god it was a nightmare. Every child is different of course but ime 2 year olds are generally more biddable and less likely to have hang ups about the potty, they are often easier to bribe too!

Sorry if I’ve misunderstood this, but are you actually using the toilet or a potty? If the toilet, maybe try potty in the room with you? Could be it’s too hard for him to leave what he’s doing/you, and I can imagine with a young baby too it’s hard for you to leave what you’re doing! It might make it less of an ordeal if he doesn’t need to leave the room.

I wouldn't go back to nappies at this stage, I know the trend now is to train later but I think very few children aren't ready and capable by 3. This has been going on so long that as a pp said wetting his pants has become normalised so its unlikely you will find an easy answer, but personally i would go for bribary, find something he really likes/wants and promise him it if he keeps his pants dry.

Gawd I feel sorry for you. I have a 3.5yr old and failed to get him trained at 3. My daughter was done at 2.5. Nursery adds a whole new level of complication too. I'm going to attempt to do it over Feb half term. He is currently in pull ups but I'm not looking forward to it.

Physically your child sounds ready. Emotionally he doesn't. I don't think it's the end of the world to put him back into pull ups and just encourage weeing on the toilet etc.

I agree with this, I wonder myself (if you have a smart child) if 2 is a better age, I feel as they get older they can have psychological issues around it. Mine got poo anxiety which I don't think would've happened at a younger age (but no expert by any means!)

I may have just been extremely lucky however I used 3 day potty training by Lora Jensen and it was fantastic.

As someone with literally nil experience of babies before I had my DS and without much in the way of advice from others I was massively reliant on the internet for info.

I tried it over a bank holiday weekend and it worked wonders. My DS was 2 years 3 months old at the time and since that weekend I think we’ve had 1 accident in the last 6 months.

If you can reset things with your DC and try it one weekend you might hit lucky too. It’s definitely worth a shot. I followed it to the letter.

One other small tip from my experience was to not bother with a potty. My DC used it twice and the most. He much preferred using a toddler seat on a normal toilet. That might just be a one of his quirks but no harm trying.

Whatever happens I wish you well as I can imagine it’s a very testing time but just remember it will eventually pass even if it doesn’t feel like that at the moment.

We moved to cloth nappies with a cover and brought a pull up style cloth nappy at night desugned for older sen kids as was a very heavy wetter.

Taught them wetness and being uncomfortable without soaking clothes 4 times a day.

We also went back to potty and no toilet. On potty he could do stuff like blowing bubbles or toy he only go on potty. He spent a fair bit of time on it infront of tv but he got used to using it and stopped holding.

Why don’t you get some reusable pull up pants? There’s lots second hand (if you don’t mind that). They’re like pants and you can call them pants but just contain a bit more wee. That way you’re not undoing all the good work. Some are more absorbent than others. Check out the nappy lady and nappy lady buying and selling on Facebook

Sleeping is right actually constipation is super common and really impacts potty training.

Also don't allow fruit juice, especially blackcurrant squash.

Has anyone mentioned constipation? If he's constipated he might not have the sensation of needing a wee because it presses on the nerves.

He clearly is developmentally ready.

Honestly you almost could have attempted it earlier. I kid you not. Lots of children become very stubborn & change resistant between about age 2 & 3.5. It can almost be easier to do it at about 22 months, they don't protest and are more compliant.

The fact that he has the muscle control to hold it with a bare bum for 4 hours tells you a lot - he should be physically ready.

Don't focus on him saying when he needs to go. Focus on him learning to relax and let out at a wee when he chooses to

Make it a game - targets on the toilet to aim at, wee on every tree in the garden. Lots of kids prefer to wee outside or stood up.

Spend time on the loo where you aren't asking him to try and wee - let him play on a tablet etc sat there with pants down. Say nothing but turn the tap on, this can help relax and get used to going.

When I had trouble potty training one of my DC at around 3 years and a few months, I filled a basket with dozens of little wrapped presents (poundland/multipacks of stuff are your friends here). I then left if by the toilet but crucially i didn't say a word about it.

Invevitably DS was excited by it and wanted to know what is was. I explained super casually that they were potty presents for any children who used the toilet.

He immediately wanted in on the action and dropped all resistance to using the toilet. Worked within a couple of days.

I think the trick was to take all the pressure off him and let him make an active choice himself.

I agree with other posters, would not put back in nappies but possibly change the incentive.

With mine I got coloured mini pom-poms (some small and some slightly bigger) the slightly bigger ones were for poos and the smaller ones wees. Every time they went on the potty, they picked a coloured Pom Pom of their choice to put in a pot and when the pot was full they got a a treat of their choice. the treat was picked at the beginning so they knew what they were working towards and they got so excited for the pom pom every time.

I got the idea from a post on mumsnet and it worked so well so thought to share

Gosh, poor you.

I'd go back to pull ups and have another go with this in the summer.

He'll either be ok with it which gives everybody a break or he'll hate it and that might spur him on a bit. I think the former. He's not ready and this sounds hellish for everyone.

We waited until ds was 3 to start and honestly I don't think he was 100% ready then. We had a few weeks of poo accidents but then one day I refused to wash his pants after an accident and threw them in the bin. That was the last poo accident he had.

Wee wise he was bad with accidents for a week or so, I started bribing him with fruit and after that the accidents stopped. The night time weeing is hormonal so I wouldn't be too worried about that. Ds naturally stopped weeing overnight at around 3 and a half.

He'll get it op, just maybe wait a bit longer with the next one.

I think you're dead on. I'd like to add that the child is probably dealing with a lot of anxiety around toileting/nappies/expectations etc.

@NameChange9490 Try to take a step back and catch your breath. Be gentle and encouraging with dc. Be aware of other emotional needs your dc has. I've got a nb and have had to forgo potty training with my toddler as I just can't manage it all. Instead, I'm focusing on asking dc if diaper change is needed and I'm frequently checking it. DC jas started to insist on diaper change, so is recognizing elimination and discomfort with wet/soiled diapers. I show the diaper at changing and say "thank you for telling mummy you had a pee/poo diaper. look, you were right, it's pee/poo. Well done." If dc doesn't tell me and I discover it I say, "It's ok to tell mummy you need a diaper change. Mummy likes to help you."
It's low stress and working.

I would try to "up" the reward for incentive. I changed from a sticker and chocolate button to a toy car, and there was an immediate difference (2.5 yo)

He’s unlikely to accept going back to nappies now. You will just have to stick with it.

A tip for your next child, so you don’t get in this situation again, when they are ready and you are starting out at home, they actually rarely have accidents at all. None of mine had more than one or two accidents in the first week when we would just quietly potter around at home. They would have a few in the next fortnight or so at nursery but after that it would be completely fine. It’s very clear, very quickly, when a child is ready versus when a parent or caregiver wants a child to be ready.

I do think it’s quite normal for them to hold until they are bursting. My kids never had accidents but they need to be reminded to go, it’s rare that they stop what they are doing and go themselves without being reminded, even if it’s the daily routine rather than me that’s reminding them. I think your expectations around this have been a little too high. I definitely wouldn’t go back to nappies.

Honestly just reading through some of the comments and want to again say I really recommend Sarah's book, is so reassuring. I really don't agree about putting him back in nappies as some other posters are saying, I think you've done the right thing persevering.

I would not put him back in nappies no no no

Have you tried reading Sarah Ockwell Smith's Gentle Potty Training book? I read this one AND oh crap and although they align in their views in a lot of areas, I found Sarah's book much better and Oh crap quite intense. As much as like Jamie Glowacki she has very strong opinions that I don't think are always quite right.

One thing that really stands out to me about what you've said is that you take him to the toilet every 1-2 hours, sounds like your over reminding (no judgement I am massively guilty of this) and he's not listening to his body HIMSELF he's waiting for you to tell him.

Do you feel like taking him to the toilet is turning into a battle?