Abusive ex is refusing clean break order for divorce. Anyone well educated on divorce with advice at all?

userzH · 2024-01-31T16:42:45+00:00

I'm getting legal aid and have no money to fight this. Ex is an awful nasty human being. He is refusing to do a clean break order. Refusing to hand over any documents my solicitor has asked for. My solicitor is great however they are extremely slow at replying to my emails. Can anyone advise what I can do about this? Would legal aid cover me to take it further?

Spirallingdownwards · 17/04/2024 11:34

There is now provision that any inheritance received after a split should not form part of divorce settlements.

Even if he does not want it you can push forward to court for a clean break and generally this is what courts will order. As frustrating as it is time wise keep pushing forward with the lawyers.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 17/04/2024 11:24

Qwertyyui · 31/01/2024 16:58

I guess the question is why you want the clean break? I've never gotten one but I also know financially the other party is deffo going to be better off. Once he remarries as well I believe it stops him being able to claim your funds? I didn't even know it was a thing as I divorced online the first time and will likely do the same the second time! x

Oh my god , of COURSE you need a clean break. Otherwise at ANY, yes ANY point in your life they can chase you for any inherited money, lottery wins any income they like and also you’ll be in a tricky situation re debts too.

you are MENTAL to not get a clean break!

SensualDecay · 17/04/2024 11:20

I got divorced without a clean break/financial order because my ex husband was uncooperative, although I have now completed both the divorce and the financial order. I did everything without lawyers and managed to get a good amount of the marital assets. Court hearings were conducted remotely and I found the judges to be very supportive and careful to make sure I wasn't bullied or coerced during the proceedings.

You can do this!

Qweni · 17/04/2024 10:56

Hi,
I am going through clean break order now. I have paid about £300 the first payment and going to pay my solicitors about the same after is done. But you can shop around. Prices vary. It takes time but is worth. My solicitor is based in Manchester. Papers are now in court after couple of months of collecting documents etc so waiting for the decision.

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 22:00

mrsfollowill · 31/01/2024 21:40

Does he really understand what a clean break order is? A friend of my had this issue with her ex- in the end she said to him do you realise if YOU win the lottery I can come and claim from you? If he is a gambler he must be hoping for a win. Her ex wasn't the sharpest tool in the box but that drove it home to him how it was the best deal for the both of them.

Well I have tried to explain it to him as best I can through a text message without speaking too much.

I think he knows that one day I may get a large inheritance and that's why he won't sign.

I did tell him I'd never take him for any money however if he did happen to have a big win now - I'm going for half.

It does make me wonder if that's why he's refusing to give his bank statements though.

OP posts:

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 21:58

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 21:46

It is something that I've recently learnt tbh. I chose my car, everything is in my name, he says it's my car...but legally because he can provide the financial documentation in his name it is his. The deposit, the loan/credit card is all in his name. Whoever pays, owns it, unless there is a legal document transferring ownership. And no, that's not the V5, it's a solicitor letter signed and witnessed since he's a wiggly abusive so and so.

You could offer to pay the remaining but get him to transfer it over legally with a bill of sale.

Thank you - that makes sense.

I did have a different solicitor tell me that because the reciepts are in my name with my signature then the car belongs to me.

But again I guess that means nothing. The car is still worth a fair bit to be fair - we bought it during covid and got a really good deal so while its gone down in value, it's still worth way more than what's left on the loan.

I'll have to wait for my solicitor to contact me and go from there. I could hand it over to him however I don't even consider doing this if he agrees to sign the clean break order and pays his maintenance with it back dated.

OP posts:

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 21:46

It is something that I've recently learnt tbh. I chose my car, everything is in my name, he says it's my car...but legally because he can provide the financial documentation in his name it is his. The deposit, the loan/credit card is all in his name. Whoever pays, owns it, unless there is a legal document transferring ownership. And no, that's not the V5, it's a solicitor letter signed and witnessed since he's a wiggly abusive so and so.

You could offer to pay the remaining but get him to transfer it over legally with a bill of sale.

mrsfollowill · 31/01/2024 21:40

Does he really understand what a clean break order is? A friend of my had this issue with her ex- in the end she said to him do you realise if YOU win the lottery I can come and claim from you? If he is a gambler he must be hoping for a win. Her ex wasn't the sharpest tool in the box but that drove it home to him how it was the best deal for the both of them.

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 21:32

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 20:34

The car is all in my name - the receipts and everything. He got a sole loan out for it but it went into the joint bank account.

It doesn't matter whose name it is in, it's who is paying for it on legal documents. Since he got the loan then it is his. If you stopped paying for it, it would be him the debt collectors would chase. I would let it go and find a cheap runaround for now. It's one less thing he can beat you with.

The advice I'm getting is so conflicting so thank you for sharing this.

The loan is solely in his name.
The loan money was put into our joint bank account. I have removed myself off this bank account.
The receipts for the car - as in who paid for it is all in my name but I'm guessing that doesn't matter.

The loan was taken over 4 years. He has since extended this loan - since I removed myself off the joint bank account .

There is 6 months left to pay. I could offer to pay the remaining 6 months?

It's so frustrating as he has 2 cars of his own. He pays absolutely no maintenance either. He's refusing to pay anything.

OP posts:

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 20:34

The car is all in my name - the receipts and everything. He got a sole loan out for it but it went into the joint bank account.

It doesn't matter whose name it is in, it's who is paying for it on legal documents. Since he got the loan then it is his. If you stopped paying for it, it would be him the debt collectors would chase. I would let it go and find a cheap runaround for now. It's one less thing he can beat you with.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 31/01/2024 19:49

userzH · 31/01/2024 19:47

Would you mind asking how much it cost you?

Show quote history

A while back now, I think the court fee was about £250.
I then used a solicitor for advice as and when, fmdid the paperwork myself to keep the costs right down.

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 19:47

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 31/01/2024 19:43

Have you actually issued a form A to start financial proceedings through court? Once it is in motion, he will eventually have to produce paperwork.
I doubt you would get legal aid but it is possible to do this yourself- I did .

Edited

Would you mind asking how much it cost you?

OP posts:

momentumneeded · 31/01/2024 19:43

Op I would put this on a court schedule by applying for financial remedy. He will then have to give full financial disclosure going back 12 months and can seek a clean break order. You need to have a MIAM from a mediator to say mediation is not suitable (I think you can skip this if you are claiming LA because of abuse) then submit Form A -

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment data/file/1188090/FormmA0722.pdf

Then you're on the treadmill and court will prompt you to say what you need to provide by when and will also communicate with your ex. You can litigate in person or if you have LA get them to assist you.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 31/01/2024 19:43

Have you actually issued a form A to start financial proceedings through court? Once it is in motion, he will eventually have to produce paperwork.
I doubt you would get legal aid but it is possible to do this yourself- I did .

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 19:34

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 19:22

If he has no assets (or equal to you, eg pension) then I can't see why your solicitor can't send off the paperwork for a clean break. You would only need to sign a legal paper to say you fully understand that once it is granted you can't go back and claim more, eg you find out a secret million pound investment three months later.

Who signed the paperwork for the car? If he is the legal owner then let it go, find a cheap runaround.

The car is all in my name - the receipts and everything. He got a sole loan out for it but it went into the joint bank account.

I'm just waiting to see what he actually wants in terms of the car.

He has 2 other vehicles. He is on 1k a week. He's very very abusive.

I'm a mum of 3 (2 with additional needs - his son included) and he wants to take my car away and leave me with absolutely nothing.

OP posts:

AutumnFroglets · 31/01/2024 19:22

If he has no assets (or equal to you, eg pension) then I can't see why your solicitor can't send off the paperwork for a clean break. You would only need to sign a legal paper to say you fully understand that once it is granted you can't go back and claim more, eg you find out a secret million pound investment three months later.

Who signed the paperwork for the car? If he is the legal owner then let it go, find a cheap runaround.

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 19:08

Qwertyyui · 31/01/2024 18:35

Ah yeah I would want a financial break too. I'm only worth something dead and not expecting any inheritance! Ha x

Yeah it's so frustrating! Can't believe I married such a dickhead 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Qwertyyui · 31/01/2024 18:35

Ah yeah I would want a financial break too. I'm only worth something dead and not expecting any inheritance! Ha x

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 18:26

Testina · 31/01/2024 18:10

And what about each of your pensions?

We both have pensions with not much in them at all. He's now self employed and I am a carer of my disabled son so neither of us actively pay into a pension.

Probably around 4k in each one. He only has 1 as far as I'm aware

OP posts:

Testina · 31/01/2024 18:10

And what about each of your pensions?

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 18:00

Testina · 31/01/2024 17:51

Does no mortgage mean that you’re renting, or that you own a house outright?

If he’s up to his eyeballs in debt and have no assets (so sounds like renting?) then what paperwork do you want from him? I would speak to my solicitor about pressing on with a Consent Order that proposes all his debts stay with him, and zero assets to split. If there are only debts, you don’t need to have paperwork for everything. That CO proposal might kick him into action.

But what about pensions - do neither of you have those?

My solicitor had asked him to send them 12 months of bank statements. I have already done the same. They then gather what they need to and send it to court.

I knew he would refuse before they even asked him.

OP posts:

Original poster

userzH · 31/01/2024 17:59

Testina · 31/01/2024 17:51

Does no mortgage mean that you’re renting, or that you own a house outright?

If he’s up to his eyeballs in debt and have no assets (so sounds like renting?) then what paperwork do you want from him? I would speak to my solicitor about pressing on with a Consent Order that proposes all his debts stay with him, and zero assets to split. If there are only debts, you don’t need to have paperwork for everything. That CO proposal might kick him into action.

But what about pensions - do neither of you have those?

My house is mine through a housing association all in my name.

He is down at living at his mums house however he stays with his girlfriend.

A clean break is the advice I've been given from my solicitor .

I need to be free of 2 things;

None of his debt is in my name or listed at my address however I don't want any of that to fall on to me.

When my parents pass, I don't want him to be able to claim for any of my inheritance at all which is understand he could do without any financial agreement set in place.

OP posts:

Testina · 31/01/2024 17:51

Does no mortgage mean that you’re renting, or that you own a house outright?

If he’s up to his eyeballs in debt and have no assets (so sounds like renting?) then what paperwork do you want from him? I would speak to my solicitor about pressing on with a Consent Order that proposes all his debts stay with him, and zero assets to split. If there are only debts, you don’t need to have paperwork for everything. That CO proposal might kick him into action.

But what about pensions - do neither of you have those?

LighthouseTheme · 31/01/2024 17:41

In my (somewhat dated, but also assisted by Legal Aid), it was possible to do the divorce right through to Decree Absolute without ANY of the Financial Matters being resolved. This was very detrimental to me. (I wish I had had a better Solicitor.) My husband lied through his teeth on the Form E, including about remarrying.
As I understand it (again, dated), the LA costs will come out of a settlement, should there be one, but at a lower hourly rate.
Keep your eye on things as much as you can, is my advice.

SUPerSaver721 · 31/01/2024 17:25

As you have no assets then legal aid will pay your full bill. Just ask it gets sent to court snd the judge will make him hand everything needed over.