Page 2 | To think a sexless relationship can work long term

sweetieplease · 2024-01-30T22:32:02+00:00

Relatively sexless. Perhaps twice per year ? Even if baby has been conceived ? One partner disinterested in sex generally and the other has a strong libido.

PToosher · 31/01/2024 01:18

The non-low libido partner will either ask for an open relationship, a separation or will outsource sex.

egowise · 31/01/2024 00:45

No. It killed me.

My sense of self, my self esteem, my whole being. Gone. Relationship of 12 years, no desire for sex for 9.

I am so much happier since I left, even though I still don't have sex.

Danlerl · 31/01/2024 00:37

Yes. Overtime the person with the high sex drive, will no longer have the feelings as they become used to being celibate and rejected. The urge does of course come back but it has to pushed aside. It's tough but try tolook at the positive side of relationship.

Saschka · 31/01/2024 00:31

sweetieplease · 30/01/2024 22:38

The relationship has lasted some six years. Many reasons for it lasting so long.. mostly practical and lack of options and opportunity for both people. A rare intimate moment caused pregnancy. Could this turn things round?

You are only still together due to “lack of other options”??

Unless you are marooned on a desert island and the lack of dating options is permanent and irrevocable, then no I don’t think this would work. One of you is going to fire up Tinder at some point and find another option.

KnowledgeableMomma · 31/01/2024 00:23

sweetieplease · 30/01/2024 22:38

The relationship has lasted some six years. Many reasons for it lasting so long.. mostly practical and lack of options and opportunity for both people. A rare intimate moment caused pregnancy. Could this turn things round?

Having a baby tends to make things (strained relationships) worse. Children are stressful and cracks that are already in a relationship start to widen. Children are not glue and should not be responsible for holding a sinking ship above water.

HalloumiGeller · 30/01/2024 23:12

Nope, pls don't kid yourself that this will work.

TempestTost · 30/01/2024 23:10

Well people manage having no sex at all, even with a high libido, so it is possible.

But I think there will need to be a reason the people in the relationship want it to succeed. Rather than, nothing better to do.

TheBeesKnee · 30/01/2024 23:10

So are we talking celibacy or an open marriage?

steff13 · 30/01/2024 23:06

Only if your libidos match.

StopStartStop · 30/01/2024 22:57

No. Don't torture each other.

Singleandproud · 30/01/2024 22:56

My parents have lived as companions for decades but it works for them and they are equals.

A young couple, with mismatched sex drives is never going to work without one or other of them being miserable and life's too short for that.

Ikeawarrior · 30/01/2024 22:54

I agree the relationship could well last. Whether or not both parties remained faithful during the relationship is another matter entirely!

Mumoftwo1312 · 30/01/2024 22:52

Sounds like a disaster, miserable for both people but (arguably) especially miserable for the one with a high drive.

TeenLifeMum · 30/01/2024 22:50

Babies rarely improve relationships - generally put a lot of strain on it.

BananaSplitsss · 30/01/2024 22:50

We were still having lots of sex six years in. 22 years later not so much, but we still do it.

Blueeyedmale · 30/01/2024 22:49

I've been single for over 2 years now despite me not wanting to be in a relationship until my son is at least 16 to 18 due to health waiting for operation and medication I'm on,I have absolutely zero sexual appetite it just wouldn't be fair for them to go without that element of a relationship.

Whilst I agree with some of the pp It can work in the short term if you have an established relationship I think in the long term it might cause issues and resentment.sex is not the be and end all and I never thought I'd be saying this at 43 lol but seriously to many it's an important part of a relationship

theduchessofspork · 30/01/2024 22:49

sweetieplease · 30/01/2024 22:38

The relationship has lasted some six years. Many reasons for it lasting so long.. mostly practical and lack of options and opportunity for both people. A rare intimate moment caused pregnancy. Could this turn things round?

No

theduchessofspork · 30/01/2024 22:48

Obviously not

You would both need a v low libido

No point kidding yourself

EC22 · 30/01/2024 22:47

I can’t see why a pregnancy would make them more compatible sexually.

Wakemeup17 · 30/01/2024 22:46

sweetieplease · 30/01/2024 22:38

The relationship has lasted some six years. Many reasons for it lasting so long.. mostly practical and lack of options and opportunity for both people. A rare intimate moment caused pregnancy. Could this turn things round?

No. This will not turn things around and the relationship will not last forever. Person with high libido will eventually cheat and / or leave.

EC22 · 30/01/2024 22:46

I don’t think it’d be very happy.
6 years isn’t very long- there’s a real comparability issue here, if it can’t be resolved I don’t think it’s worth saving tbh

PutOnYourRedShoesAndLetsDance · 30/01/2024 22:44

Think you both need to compatible.

Maaate · 30/01/2024 22:43

Short term, maybe but it could also lead to more resentment.

Original poster

sweetieplease · 30/01/2024 22:38

The relationship has lasted some six years. Many reasons for it lasting so long.. mostly practical and lack of options and opportunity for both people. A rare intimate moment caused pregnancy. Could this turn things round?

OP posts:

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 30/01/2024 22:38

Honestly Op, this can only lead to resentment.
When there is a lack of intimacy and closeness it’s important to show it in other ways. However, if both parties are not on the same page I can’t see how it would work and it can affect the person with the higher drive resulting in filling the void with someone else or something