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Original poster

Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

619 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 30/01/2024 20:27

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

OP posts:
Vendee23 · 01/02/2024 20:20

I don’t find this weird, I actually find it lovely dad was confident enough to come over and ask. He obviously wants to keep things ‘normal’ as such for daughter and if you can take 10 minutes out in a morning for a few days I think it’s a really nice thing to do. 😊

Keychangeoff · 01/02/2024 20:16

Lazy cheeky fucker. Is there something wrong with his hands that means only female hands can plait his childs hair ?

Castleview6 · 01/02/2024 20:16

It’s really lovely you’ve offered to help. Imagine that the little girl is upset that her mum’s in hospital and dads panicked about that as well. He must just want to help keep things normal for her. It’s really not that weird and you’re being a lovely neighbour.

whatsupluckyducky · 01/02/2024 20:15

sounds like you’ve been a real help to the whole family. Ignore the negativity!

Gonners · 01/02/2024 20:14

I think he was understandably stressed and asked you for help and you were kind and gave it. Well done everyone involved!

saffy2 · 01/02/2024 20:12

PurpleWhirple · 01/02/2024 19:36

It's actually men who are fucking awful.

The vast majority of critical posters have said they would do it for the sake of the child, but it doesn't excuse the helpless fuckwittery of the dad.

Show quote history

It’s taken me years to learn how
to plait my own hair and I still am
learning how to do my daughters, because it’s even harder on someone else’s hair. I really really really think people are being horrible for bitching about a man seeking help to get his daughters hair done when she wants it in a plait and his wife and baby are in hospital. I really don’t see that as helpless fuckwittery. At all. I do see those people calling it that as mean and nasty though.

Sunshines89 · 01/02/2024 20:11

It's weird but very sweet, neither of them will forget you doing that for them during a difficult time for them x

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:05

@SouthLondonMum22 you do know that little girl so change how they want their hair...... last week it was ponytail, never a plait and this week .... plait! So I'm not sure you can be confident he has had months to practise?

Singasongtime · 01/02/2024 20:05

It takes a village- thank you OP for reminding us of this.

TheGreatestAtuin · 01/02/2024 20:04

OP you are lovely to do this.

I do personally think it's an extremely weird request though!

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:01

Springforward19 · 01/02/2024 19:57

It sounds like he's possibly looking for an occasional babysitter & this is his way of introducing you to the family. 🤔

🤔 do you......

Heather37231 · 01/02/2024 19:57

Really nice outcome. I just read all your posts OP and I knew that you must be in a block of flats before you mentioned it in the second or third post. People in flats are a bit more comfortable with ringing neighbours’ bells than neighbours in streets I think. Maybe because you often pass in the lift or corridor and your story about the hair chat in the lift illustrates that.

Springforward19 · 01/02/2024 19:57

It sounds like he's possibly looking for an occasional babysitter & this is his way of introducing you to the family. 🤔

inappropriateportioncontrol · 01/02/2024 19:56

I've read all the OPs posts , not the whole thread , and they have made me so happy .
You sound like a lovely thoughtful kind person @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees
and I love your user name !

somekittenmittens · 01/02/2024 19:56

I don't see the problem with it, or some pressing feminist issue. People are better at different things, in theory certain DIY is easy, and I can do alot of it but for some things when I was younger I would ask my next door neighbour for help with things and I doubt he was sitting there thinking about me burdening him with masculine standards, he was just my neighbour and was happy to help and in return I would dog sit for him sometimes. Some people just can't get their head around certain things, and it's fine to ask others for help. It makes for a nice relationship with your neighbours and he's obviously going through a difficult time and took a risk asking you for help for something for his daughter. He's not asking you to cook his tea or clean the toilet.

My grandad used to do awesome plaits (although very tight and he'd pull my head awfully) because of something to do with nets, I forget what it was now 😀

sleekcat · 01/02/2024 19:56

I don't think it's particularly weird. The little girl, who doesn't have her mum around for a couple of weeks and is probably upset about that, is having a meltdown because she always has plaits and Dad can't do them. To make her happy, Dad has decided to knock on your door even though it's a bit presumptuous, in a bid to placate her. It's not weird that she can't do her own hair, I certainly never could until I was a lot older.

Pinkie89 · 01/02/2024 19:49

I think this is lovely and more people should help their neighbours or be able to ask for help when needed. I’d be flattered if I was asked to do something like this when a family was in need.

Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2024 19:48

Thanks for the update. This is a really cute little story.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2024 19:47

Flamingos89 · 01/02/2024 19:43

Also I dont know why this is turning into a Dad bashing thread…. As women with mostly long hair we have been doing plaits and dealing with long hair since we were children! It would be a whole different world for a dad. Doesn’t make him a bad dad that he can’t do a plait

His daughter is 5-6 years old, not a baby. It shouldn't be a new world to him at this point. Depending on how long her hair is, he's had at least 1-2 years, maybe even longer to learn.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 19:45

bevm72yellow · 01/02/2024 19:44

a man outsourcing work . no good deed will go unpunished. wait for more favours to be asked seeing as you are obliging. I would do it once or twice then suggest a good alternative to the child.

I'd read the very few updates from the OP!

Angelsrose · 01/02/2024 19:45

Just to say I think the op is kind and lovely! My Dad couldn't do my hair when I was a child either lol but wouldn't have asked the neighbours!! On the rare occasion my Mum wasn't there, it was either my sibling who had to step in (who is similar in age to me) or wild hair!

tachetastic · 01/02/2024 19:45

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 01/02/2024 09:00

Plait 2 completed.

My partner raised a good point last night about what if the baby is overdue and then also has an extended time in hospital, do I really want to be tied to my apartment every morning for 6 weeks (I stay in his a lot couldn't do that). Anyway I got a little smarter.

Little one arrives this morning. I have my hair on a bun which she says us really cool (not sure but I'll take it!).

I asked if she wanted me to put hers in a bun too. Hesitant but ultimately decided no, a plait is best.

When I finished the plait, I asked if she want to see a cool hair trick. She agrees to a took the plait and wrapped it into a bun. She lovely it so I said, we'll leave it in a plait today but I'm going to show daddy how it can be a bun tomorrow or any day I'm not here.

In fairness to him, he watched and tried it twice and got the hang of it. So tomorrow Dad is going her hair. (Today's plait pinned into a bun).

She's doesn't need it done over weekend.
Monday we'll wait and see.
But she definitely wants a plait on Tuesday because it's PE day.

Incidentally, my partner scoffed at poor dad last night & said plaits are easy. Watched a YouTube video and got a demo from me and then balls it up several times. He's an engineer so fairly handy & vexed at himself that he couldn't manage it! Apparently, women have smaller hands which gives us an advantage 🤔

I'll still do her hair whenever she calls but it's nice to see dad getting to grips with a bun which she also seems to like.

To the cynics, there's no alterior motive here. The man simply cannot plait & watching my partner also try last night has really proven to me, it's not lack of effort, it just something some people struggle with.

If this turns to friendship, great, the more the merrier. As for babysitting & cleaning, I doubt it & would be wise to that immediately.

Mum is also doing much better.

I'm a dad of two beautiful DDs (now 14 and 13) (as well as two beautiful DSs (16 and 10).

I consider myself a master of all kinds of plaits, but I confess not once have I managed to do a bun that has lasted the day. I think you need to have super powers to do that successfully! 😂

bevm72yellow · 01/02/2024 19:44

a man outsourcing work . no good deed will go unpunished. wait for more favours to be asked seeing as you are obliging. I would do it once or twice then suggest a good alternative to the child.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 19:44

Oh maybe the DH has dyspraxia .....

Oh no he can't have he is a man, that would only be able to be considered if he was a woman.

Flamingos89 · 01/02/2024 19:43

Also I dont know why this is turning into a Dad bashing thread…. As women with mostly long hair we have been doing plaits and dealing with long hair since we were children! It would be a whole different world for a dad. Doesn’t make him a bad dad that he can’t do a plait