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Original poster

Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

619 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 30/01/2024 20:27

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

OP posts:
ToMeToYouAndBack · 01/02/2024 21:31

I think it's a great opportunity to make friends with your neighbours!!

IvyIvyIvy · 01/02/2024 21:28

My husband couldn't manage to even put my hair in a ponytail when I was in hospital with drips in my hand...I had to ask a nurse. Think this just isn't something boys and men learn to do and the poor guy was a bit lost and needed some help. What a lovely way to help your neighbours out during a difficult time. It's very sweet. It's nice that he felt he could come to you for help. Could be the start of a wonderful friendship.

cherish123 · 01/02/2024 21:27

How awkward. Yes. This is very weird.

rhianfitz · 01/02/2024 21:15

I think it was lovely of you to do it.

slithytoveisascientist · 01/02/2024 21:14

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees my lady was Monday and I think she is England x

helpihaveateen · 01/02/2024 21:12

You wave and say hello in passing. Perhaps they are the closest friend they’ve got!

id feel flattered, but a little weird about it.

use the opportunity to get to know their names! You could make a bit of a light hearted game out of it …. “Hello I’m hair dresser @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees, can I take your name?”

Garlicnaan · 01/02/2024 21:08

What a lovely thread, from the OP.

I don't think it was that weird a request and it was kind of you to fulfil it. You helped them in need and built a connection. I'm sure they are really grateful.

Frangipanyoul8r · 01/02/2024 21:00

What a lovely story of neighbourly generosity, thanks for sharing the updates. If only we all made a little more time for our neighbours.

Original poster
ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 01/02/2024 20:59

slithytoveisascientist · 01/02/2024 20:58

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees must not be the same then! I have a client who has gone into hospital under the exact same circumstances and had her baby girl today - just a coincidence.

She's been hospital since Tuesday.

Are you in Ireland or the UK?

OP posts:
Butterandtoast · 01/02/2024 20:59

Your kindness has really made me tear up

Thank you for helping them! Little things and routines are a massive deal to young children. The little girl is probably your biggest fan now.

slithytoveisascientist · 01/02/2024 20:58

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees must not be the same then! I have a client who has gone into hospital under the exact same circumstances and had her baby girl today - just a coincidence.

Original poster
ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 01/02/2024 20:52

slithytoveisascientist · 01/02/2024 20:33

I think I know the person you are talking about.

And if I'm right the dad works away and comes home on leave sporadically- so pretty much everything at home is the mums job most of the time

Ok but I don't think he works away at all.

He's here all the time. I see him any morning I'm not wfh. He walks his daughter to school and they usually leave around the same time I do.

Usually bump into the 3 of them most weekends too.

PS - mum also works.

OP posts:
Letttherebelight · 01/02/2024 20:44

I think you did a lovely thing. I really don’t get what all the fuss is about. It sounds like he tried, couldn’t do it properly and the little girl got stressed and upset, so he asked you, and you did a kind thing by helping, and then helping them to find alternatives that the dad could do (sounds like he was panicking and desperately looking for a way to keep his kid calm). Not all of us are demon plait-ers! I’ve never been able to plait properly. It takes time and practice I guess. Maybe the dad will now learn to do it a bit better but when you’re at a crisis point and panicking reaching out to a neighbour for help is hardly something to condemn. And I think your idea of a present for the little girl of hair ties is just lovely ❤️

JungsWordTest · 01/02/2024 20:36

Ah, the irony of posts who cry misogyny, and at the same time decry all men who ask something like this.

Every request has a unique set of circumstances behind it. He should have learned to do this? Why? Have all of you who criticised his request learned to change tyres? Unblock drains? Rewire a plug? All of you?

No. Because we're all different. Who cares if he can't plait? His wife is in fucking hospital, for goodness sakes! How does feminism trump personal tragedy? I despair.

somekittenmittens · 01/02/2024 20:36

Teaismymiddlename · 01/02/2024 20:30

It's weird as fuck. He has hands I'm guessing so could have learned faster than knocking snd asking a neighbour.

He's being a lazy ass male and presuming as you have a uterus you must inherently know how to plait hair

I'd direct him to you tube and close the door

Hope you never need a man's help with anything, he might get all grumpy and assume you're judging him because he has a cock and tell you to fuckoff

slithytoveisascientist · 01/02/2024 20:33

I think I know the person you are talking about.

And if I'm right the dad works away and comes home on leave sporadically- so pretty much everything at home is the mums job most of the time

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:33

Teaismymiddlename · 01/02/2024 20:30

It's weird as fuck. He has hands I'm guessing so could have learned faster than knocking snd asking a neighbour.

He's being a lazy ass male and presuming as you have a uterus you must inherently know how to plait hair

I'd direct him to you tube and close the door

Lovely 🥰

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:32

This is going to make 1000 posts with 600 not having read the updates!

🤦‍♀️

xyz111 · 01/02/2024 20:32

I think you sound a lovely person 😀

Teaismymiddlename · 01/02/2024 20:30

It's weird as fuck. He has hands I'm guessing so could have learned faster than knocking snd asking a neighbour.

He's being a lazy ass male and presuming as you have a uterus you must inherently know how to plait hair

I'd direct him to you tube and close the door

Orangebadger · 01/02/2024 20:29

Read through OPs updates. I think this is a lovely thread. Hope she likes her new hair accessories from her new friend. It's really sweet.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:27

Keychangeoff · 01/02/2024 20:16

Lazy cheeky fucker. Is there something wrong with his hands that means only female hands can plait his childs hair ?

How unkind....

Would you really turn away a simple 10 request for a neighbour that's having a tough time...

I'm so different to you, I'd be asking for anything else I could do to help... it's a short lived hospilisaton.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:25

@SouthLondonMum22 I can't do one! 🙌!

I'm therefore

Useless
Sexist
Embarrassing
Shameful
Disgraceful
Will assume if I ask for help that I'm trying to get my child babysat

Oh hang on, what asked for help with a plait that my DD says she doesn't like the way I do it, for just a few days...

katseyes7 · 01/02/2024 20:23

I'd do it. Poor man. It's one less thing for him to think about just now.
And the little one's upset and missing her mum. If she always has it in a plait, it's 'routine' for her while her mum's away.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2024 20:21

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:05

@SouthLondonMum22 you do know that little girl so change how they want their hair...... last week it was ponytail, never a plait and this week .... plait! So I'm not sure you can be confident he has had months to practise?

From what OP has said, it sounds like a plait is pretty typical for her. Even if not, she is 5-6 and a plait is hardly an unusual hairstyle for a young girl.