Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

Men aren't useless, they are perfectly capable. Especially if they aren't enabled.

And yes, I see babysitting in your future if you are amenable to that.

Yes its a bit odd as you dont know them, but its a very kind thing for you to do so just help out it wont hurt

I would guess the little girl is upset about her mother being in hospital and a new sibling coming to usurp her and things generally not feeling quite right. So she is expressing her anxiety by saying "But who is going to plait my hair? I always have plaits. Mummy does my plaits. I won't go to school without my plaits."

Her father is distracted and instead of recognising that it's not about the plaits, he is trying to put out this fire by finding A Lady, because Ladies can do plaits.

Basically I would do the plaits because they are clearly under stress to even ask such an odd thing.

It would be a weird thing for a mum to do, particularly asking a stranger to be in close proximity to their child. However, as men are a bit useless, it's not altogether surprising that he's asked you. I think that it's really sweet that you've agreed to do it and you might develop a nice rapport with the girl and her family. It's one way to meet your neighbours at least.

My suspicious mind did wonder if the parents had come up with a cunning plan to build up the little girl's relationship with you, just in time for you to emergency babysit if the birth doesn't fall in school hours, and then help them out once the new baby arrives with childcare/plaiting/whatever. But if you're willing and able to help it could all be quite beautiful.

My DH couldn't plait and I had to leave for work before our DDs were up and ready. So he watched YouTube and taught himself. Now of course he's not as good as me but he hasn't had 30 years of practice!

Perhaps the dad has other things on his mind and hopes it's a temporary thing and his wife will do it when she's better. But learning couldn't do him any harm!

Not everyone can plait hair! My Mum can’t, no matter how many times I’ve tried to teach her (not even a simple 3-strand plait!) so I just never had plaits as a child 😂 perhaps her Dad has tried but just can’t get the hang of it and it’s upsetting his DD. I imagine he’s got a bit more than learning to plait on his plate at the moment, and the little girl may well have said that she saw OP in the lift and that she had nice plaits!

I made DP learn to plait my hair when I had shoulder surgery as I couldn’t do my own, he mastered those but still can’t do a ponytail 😅

I’ve plaited random children’s hair before now, I worked with a man who was telling me that his kids had a show that evening and neither he nor his wife could plait. I mentioned that I could (as he knew, and he probably brought it up because I had my hair in plaits 😂) so his wife brought three little girls in for a plaiting session after work. I didn’t mind!

I feel bad, my dds went to primary school with plain pony tails and came home with messy hairdos after lots of running around. They have pretty well kept hair since secondary.

When I had to suddenly leave because my dad was dying I had to leave my then 5 year old daughter with her dad.

I don't know how awful her hair looked but I do know another mum came and offered to do her hair for her in the playground....

Out of interest can your DH do them now?

This was a very recent thing so not yet (recent weeks), but he is practising. He can now do pig tails with a straight parting, which he learnt to do while I was in hospital. He isn't very dexterous bless him so that's an achievement in itself.

My mum couldn't do a French plait so my friend's mum would do it in the playground before they let us in, if I wanted one that day 🤷‍♀️ ots not that weird.

Umm, yes, your mum's friend. A but different to a total stranger then.

😂 Get a grip

Jesus, give the guy a break. He's probably got a lot on his plate and he's trying to do the best by his daughter.

I’d do this, the little girls mum is in hospital,she wants her hair done a certain way, as many kids do, she’s scared about her mum and hurting, absolutely I’d help her.

im shocked at rhe people who would turn their backs.

Melodramatic much?! 🙄

Or maybe he doubts his abilities and wants his daughter to feel like her hair has been done nicely? Many people, myself included, are cack handed. Why the aggression when it could be entirely his way of looking out for his little girl while mum is in hospital?

I've read this thread to DH and he's declared that if our forthcoming baby is a girl he's going to start practicing doing plaits on me (he already knows how to do ponytails from the Instagram reel of the Dad with the Hoover nozzle apparently )

OP I'd do exactly the same as you to help a neighbour out. We recently had unexpected but very much appreciated help from a previously unknown neighbour so I'd be glad to pay it forward.

To a PP upthread, yes it's possible to do a french plait on yourself, with practice! I'm better at a french on myself than on someone else in fact.

Sometimes people have different strengths
Yeah my husband is a lot better at me at putting on voices for the kids’ bedtime stories. If he was in hospital I sure as hell wouldn’t be approaching male neighbours I didn’t really know to fill in, or do any other parenting task. This isn’t about personal strengths, it’s about gendered tasks. Women don’t outsource caring tasks to the nearest available man. Men shouldn’t either.

Personally I don’t find this weird or sexist, I think it’s just human, especially in the context of you previously having spoken to the girl about her hair. I just see this as a parent in a high stress situation and they reached out to someone nearby who seems friendly and trustworthy for help to do what they think is best for their child. How many times have we heard of someone struggling through a stressful situation and said “why didn’t you just ask? I would have helped!”

I’m friendly with all my current and previous neighbours - they’ve all been such mutually beneficial relationships, I would never say no to helping someone so close with anything that I had the skills or time to help with! You never know when you might appreciate their help in return!

Good on you for saying yes, OP, and keeping some normalcy for this little girl at an anxious time!

Out of interest can your DH do them now?

My daughter always used to go to her dad to do her hair, plaits or bunches as I didn't do it neat enough for her. Not dear daughter I am NOT going spend 20 minutes on a busy school run morning, making sure your parting is exactly straight!

Her dad was far more patient and much better.

Thank goodness there was a WOMAN nearby to help him!

You are being really nice. And honestly - as the child of someone whose dad did her hair - she’d have disaster hair otherwise! So it’s a nice thing to do for a little girl.

But Jesus Christ men! Imagine a woman doing this?

Surely it doesnt need plaiting every day? My DD can leave her plaits in for at least 3 days and it still looks nice

I taught DP to plait his daughter's hair. He's cackhanded at the best of times, but learning to do it with one eye on Youtube and one on a wriggling 3 year old who was worried he'd pull at her hair, yelling that he was hurting her (he wasn't, the first wails came before he'd even lifted the brush) and also wanted to watch TV, go and play with the cat and wittering about seeing her friends but was also determined that she wanted a plait, just the same as Mummy did for her, wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them. It's not as if he had any hair of his own to practice on, in any case. Showed him a couple of times and then he did it for her, as she was then confident that he knew what he was doing and wouldn't hurt her, as was he.

It's not the weirdest thing, it was likely the only idea he had when she was near a tantrum/explosion/crying I WANT MUMMY - 'What about if I ask the nice lady to help us?', thinking 'Woman seems nice, woman has long hair, maybe she knows how to do plaits?' - and he was right, you're nice and know how to do plaits and it cut off a falling to the floor crying episode when they're both least able to manage it.

It's not so much, in my opinion, outsourcing wife work as it is referring to an expert in something he has not got experience, knowledge or confidence in - and you can show him so he can carry on doing it long after the urgency has passed.