Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

I reckon you are being lined up as childcare for when the mother has the baby @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees

You and the DC with the beautifully plaited hair will be besties by then, so no qualms leaving her with a "stranger" 😮

The dad is a moron and it is sad he can’t meet his own child’s basic needs to start with.

You are very kind.

It is a bit weird but maybe Mum always does it in plaits and with all the other upheaval in her life maybe it's comforting for her to continue with that?

I'd very much doubt a child that age could do plaits. My little girl is 4 and she can't although so insists on them every day!

If you are able to, I'd just do it xx

No just OP’s posts. I am a feminist and very much believe in a village raising a child but I’ll read back over the thread in more detail 😊

So this girl now thinks dads can’t do hair as well as having been brought up to think that looking pretty and having perfect hair is important. She’s only 5/6. Poor kid. Some parents are really shit.

No. I can change my own tyre.

@Dacadactyl the whole thread is that the village includes men as well as women

@Bex5490 have you read the whole thread?

In what way is being a feminist anti community or in conflict with the village raising a child ethos?

I think that it's a nice thing to do and I'd have been delighted to have been asked.

I'm wondering if any of the posters who think the man is a selfish lazy sexist misanthrope have ever had a puncture and have asked someone to change their tyre.

It think it came from the little girl. The dad had tried and did a poor job, she told you, and you said she was upset.

I bet she said “the lady with the nice long hair in the elevator had plaits, can she do it?” and the poor stressed bugger agreed in desperation to ask.

He must be worried sick about his wife and baby while keeping things as normal as possible for his little girl.

I’m glad you were able to help. You sound a lovely neighbour.

I'm glad it's sorted. It just sounded to me like a stressed out dad trying to keep his small daughter happy, so it's great that you've achieved that. This could be a great chance to get to know them better, they sound like nice neighbours.

Lovely of you to do it OP. Maybe the start of a lovely friendship with your neighbours. Sometimes absolutely taking something at face value is the right thing to do.

I agree with this, it’s lazy and sexist of him not to learn to do something so basic that would make his daughter happy at a tricky time.

Those saying it’s sweet and a little bit of normality/routine, how is having a stranger do her hair on the doorstep every morning rather than her dad using it as a way to spend a moment together “sweet” or in any way normal.

I used to go to my neighbours for babysitting after school when my parents were busy. I still would have found it very odd to go there in the mornings before school for something so personal while my mum was in hospital. My aunt did come and stay for a while and I didn’t even like her - my mum’s sister - being there, because she wasn’t my mum and she put carrots in the bolognese! The one moment when I felt really loved and supported was when I realised my dad had bought sanitary towels while out shopping, without me asking. And that little gesture of understanding what I needed, when he’d never had to consider it before, meant more than anything at such a difficult time.

This dad is missing a vital opportunity to bond with his DD at a crucial time for her. What a twat.

That hadn’t occurred to me. Wouldn’t an equally obvious response have been to ask her DH why he couldn’t figure it out with the help of YouTube, and why he’d asked a neighbour to do it every day of her absence?

I mean, it would be a bit of a reach, and a pretty paranoid one, to think the next-door neighbour decided to ingratiate herself with your husband and child via offering hairstyling the second you got taken to hospital…?

But 30yrs ago it was the norm.... The whole saying about taking a village to raise a child etc. Now we are insular staunch feminists by the sounds of it 🙄

Ahh you know what, this is typical of us Brits to think it’s weird to approach a neighbour but I bet in other cultures and countries it wouldn’t be. I expect the little girl was upset her mummy wasn’t there to do her hair how she likes it and daddy was hopeless. He probably is stressed with his wife being poorly and thought he’d ask someone they clearly deem as nice to help.
I can understand this scenario as my daughter who is a gymnast is very finicky about her hair being in a bun and when I went away earlier this year, she got in a bit of a state as my husband (despite showing him beforehand!) was useless! We had to ask another gym mum to do it!

My first reaction was WTF but having read all your updates I think he was just stressed out and came up with this somewhat odd and cheeky solution.

It's lovely of you to do it, just be wary of being taken advantage of going forward. I'm sure her Mum will be super grateful and this could be the start of a great friendship!

It’s odd that for you the issue is whether the mother is aware of and happy about you being asked to plait her child’s hair — why is that the key thing for you here?

I'm guessing the OP was worried the mum on her return would ask "Why have you taken up plaiting my daughter's hair, you massive weirdo?" and then make this face😐when the OP tried to explain, and then the OP would be referred to forever as Plait Woman in the neighbour's house.

That's what I would have been worried about .

It’s odd that for you the issue is whether the mother is aware of and happy about you being asked to plait her child’s hair — why is that the key thing for you here?

I’d help but I’d be wary of entitlement. If it continued when mum is back, so his idea of taking a load off his wife is to offload to the nearest woman, I’d say firmly your daughter is delightful and I’ve been happy to help, but I do have to get to work in the mornings. You are a dad of a girl and need to learn to plait, there are plenty of YouTubes to help.

I don't think this is weird. Mum had cancer when I was 5 and was in and out of hospital a lot. Dad would take me to school with my hair down and someone's mum would plait it for me.
I think it's sweet that he thought he could ask you but if you've changed your mind, just say so.