Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

That’s a lovely update. It’s means a lot to have your hair done right during tough times!

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees
Plait done...
Ah that's lovely. Sounds you've made some friends there 🙂

While ideally in the long run he will learn to plait hair, etc. (but see a PP, maybe he is dyspraxic as well), practically speaking in the circumstances couples do divide tasks up, and some things just don't crop up until they crop up. The little girl will undoubtedly feel better having her hair look and feel the same with her Dad all worried and the change to routine going on, and it'll be one less thing that Dad doesn't need to stress about while he deals with his wife and unborn child being in hospital, caring for the other, and holding down his job presumably.

I promise you, this request wouldn't have seemed that weird in the circumstances when and where I was bringing my kids up. People seem to get het up now about people just interacting with other people, it's weird to be posting a thread about whether it's weird. It was a reasonable request, nicely made. Although "no I'm sorry that won't work for me, I can show you today but my mornings are too busy" or "and I'm not comfortable with it" or "sorry, not my thing, try a YouTube video, everything is on there now" would also have been fine if that was what you preferred OP and I would've hoped it would've been taken with good grace.

Totally random, but some of life's greatest moments are the totally random, unexpected ones aren't they!

Nice job helping out, it's lovely to have a neighbour you know you could turn to, even if it is for something totally bizarre 😂

Keep us updated on the morning plaits and baby arrivals!

It's very kind of you OP. As they say 'it takes a village'- you are now part of their village! Seriously though, you've provided some routine for this little girl at what must be a frightening and confusing time for her.

I can't do a decent plait so they wouldn't ask me a second time.😂

Lol. That’s a bit random. No a 5 or 6yr old child can’t plait it, but I’m sure the dad can tie it into a loose pony tail. I wouldn’t mind doing it - but it’s a bit odd and random to ask!

A bit unusual, but I’d do it without a second thought. The most important person is the little girl, I’m sure she’s feeling rather upset and confused and her hair might be really important to her. I’d definitely have another go at teaching the husband to do it though.

It's unreasonable that a man with a daughter has never learned how to do it.

This is such a lovely update!

As I suspected, sounds like Dad had tried and failed before asking you rather than immediately assuming this was a “woman’s job”

We live in a very community-spirited neighbourhood and I think it’s wonderful when neighbours can look out for one another. I think this is fabulous!

But it’s not the OP’s problem if he can’t do it! It would be like me asking a random guy next door to help de-ice my car every morning because he’s a man so ‘must be good with cars’. Bizarre.

He didn't assume, he asked.

If he was asking her to do the washing up, I’d agree with you. But the ability to do a plait is something it’s not exactly unreasonable to assume a woman with long hair might be more likely to have learned to do than a man.

And everyone saying ‘it’s takes 5mins to learn from YouTube’ - I had short hair throughout my childhood into my 30s and since I have grown it out I have not acquired the skills to do any kind of neat plait or up-do despite watching numerous videos.

I think for me the most bizarre part of this is just the assumption that you’ll do this every day for him, not just as a one off. It’s the entitlement! You're a woman so you’ll do it.

You’re much kinder than me OP, I would probably have given him a puzzled look and done it the first time but then specifically said ‘now you know how to do it - there are also YouTube vids if you get stuck or I’m sure DD can just have a ponytail for a couple of weeks.’

It’s really kind of you to do it. Hopefully, it’ll be the start of a friendship. 👍

Yes I'm not disputing this, but people are taking umbrage because a man asked a woman for help do a child's hair. But they're totally ignoring the fact that PLENTY of women are no good at French plaits or buns and get their friends/another random mum at dancing to do it.

They're also ignoring the fact that the situation is an emergency and that youtube tutorials about hairdressing aren't at the top of the priority list.

I don't think it's weird , it's lovely of you to do it .

As the little girl is only 5 or 6 , she probably likes her hair being done the same every day , so may have asked her dad to ask you to do it like her mum does . You said her mum is happy too , so ignore the naysayers in here , they love to stir .

He probs feels out of sorts. I'd defo do it.

He's using it as an excuse to flirt with you while the mums away? Maybe having a memory b himself?

@MyselfYouselfMeYou

I've had a puncture.

I drove the car with the punctured tyre very slowly to the nearest garage where they do repairs and told the man at the desk with the pencil stuck behind his ear what had happened and what needed doing.

When the repair was done (they extracted the nail and patched the tyre, then inflated the rest of the tyres to specs) I paid them what I owed them, and that amount included the time and labour as well as the cost of the glue and the patch, because men tend to value their labour and their time in monetary terms.

They tend to completely devalue or undervalue the time and labour of women performing traditional female labour, to the point where traditional women's labour in teaching and nursing were often considered to be "vocations", and women could be paid less than the men working alongside them in mills, factories, etc.

Yes to this.

He's a bit useless. He's also a bit shameless to farm this out to the nearest handy woman. I wonder is he that useless when it comes to nappies, bathing a baby, etc?

However, I'd have agreed to do it, only so that the little girl could feel her life wasn't in turmoil while her mum couldn't be there.

I'd definitely go and knock on their door this weekend though, and teach him the manly art of plaiting. It's not complicated.

His daughter would benefit from having a parent she knows to be competent in taking care of her.

That is ridiculous. I was admitted for 14 days overall when I was pregnant then after I had my son and my husband did just fine looking after our daughter, fed her well, made sure she was clean and smart for nursery, did her hair and kept her busy to keep her mind off her Mummy in hospital!! Absolute nonsense that he can't learn to plait hair!!!! It's learned incompetence and it's really quite sickening.

Bit weird. He could learn himself but I guess there may be other stresses going on. Maybe the little girl has issues and only wants her hair in a plait and the dad couldn't manage the extra stress if a meltdown. Having said all this,my mum couldn't plait my hair either sometimes my neighbour did it for me but the neighbour and my mum knew each other.

Maybe the dad tried and the little girl hated it??
I think its lovely that yourre doing it

Edit. I should add I'd have no fuckikg idea on how to change a tyre ( hangs head in shame).

I missed OPs update

I don't think it's weird. He needs help with her hair and probably has no one else to ask.
Maybe the wife suggested asking you.
What's wrong with helping a neighbour out?