Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

The divergence of views on this is wild - one person's heartwarming tale of neighbourly support is another person's example of the unreasonable imposition of a chauvenist male exploiting women.

I prefer to live in the world where this is a lovely story about helping each other out. The alternative sounds exhausting and miserable!

In an emergency when I had to leave my cat for a fortnight and my usual options weren't available, I'd definitely consider knocking on the door of a friendly neighbour who says hello to me and who has made nice comments about my cat in the past (equivalent situation to the OP who has spoken about daughter's hair previously).

Admittedly, most people wouldn't see inability to plait hair as quite the same level of urgency as needing to keep a pet fed, but I can understand in the circumstances of dad being stressed and daughter being upset that it seemed important to them in the moment.

Before I got divorced, I had to go on a training course leaving DDs with xh and I had to beg a school mum to brush their hair as he 'couldn't do it'. He still can't and if they are going anywhere from his where I can't get to them, I still have to make arrangements.

You are very kind to do this (if you are, not rtft) and I've always been so grateful to anyone I've had to ask.

I'd recommend you show him these videos on how to plait hair, available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+plait+hair

I learnt to plait my hair when I was about 7. I'm now 36 and have only just learnt how to do a French plait in my DD's hair, thanks to YouTube.

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop scream away 😂
Edit: and hope you feel better soon 🙂

I'm really pleased Mum is happy, I genuinely am. Actually in fact, I'm happy that everyone is happy. I take back being mardy. I'm in a foul mood so I'm going to scream into a pillow for a bit.

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop if you read the updates the chap is trying and practicing.
No one is going to become good at something overnight or within a couple of days.
It seems the OP is happy, the little girl is happy, the Dad is happy, the mum is happy.

I'd let him know that you might not be available every morning as you sometimes stay elsewhere, and suggest that he could ask one of his daughter's teachers so you don't feel obliged to do this every day. But it's lovely of you to help.

I also wonder why the child needs to be pandered to so much. She’s 6. If he can’t do a plait, surely he just tells his child ‘sorry, daddy’s tried but I’m really rubbish at plaits. While mummy’s away you can have a ponytail or bunches, which would you like?’

Also to the posters going at me "he did try and couldn't do it!" Erm, practice?

Am I missing something here?

Agreed. I think I'd be furious if my husband was bothering neighbours to braid our kids hair.

No sorry, I just think it's quite concerning that a grown man can't plait hair nor has kept trying.

Also people berating him... I can't do plaits; not sure why as it's simple but I feel like it's the same gene that helps you park which I also can't do. 😹 however I can do loads of things that some can't, just can't quite remember what at the min haha

It's the kind of weird thing I would get roped into and be happy to help unless it got in the way of my own stuff

Lovely update. So many people who want to put the worst possible spin on the request because he's a man.

I'm glad the mum is doing better. Dad and daughter must have been quite anxious.

It's extremely weird and his wife/partner may not like it one bit when she finds out.

He did try, it wasn't right, daughter was upset. OP did hair, daughter liked and is happy!

Because many women would hear ‘daddy took me to X’s house every morning and she did my hair… yes she is nice… yes, she was friendly to daddy…’ etc and jump to the wrong conclusion.

Dads are often lazy about learning this stuff- I’ve lost count of the blokes shoving their daughters at me outside dance classes like it’s a total surprise to them that they need their hair doing like every other bloody week.

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop and he can do that literally overnight?
He tried to do it and his plait didn't work so he asked for help.
Also asking a neighbour that you don't really know that well for help is quite a "grown up" thing to do.

I'm so glad I don't have that thought process.

It's weird and that dad ought to grow up. Hasn't he heard of teaching himself on YouTube?

To people saying the dad just couldn’t be bothered to learn, this obviously isn’t their first time having a baby, but it is the first time having a baby with another child at home. With all the things they have had to think of and prepare, maybe doing their daughters hair for school (probably always automatically been a mum job) didn’t cross their mind. Whilst I would be a bit thrown off if this happened to me, I wouldn’t denigrate the dad, at least he’s trying to solve the problem and make sure his daughter is happy. Presumably he is staying while the hair is plaited so not left with a stranger and little one has less upheaval in a strange time of life as mummy disappears and comes back with a baby attached.

Exactly my thoughts. Do you have very long hair that's always plaited ? Or did he just think of you because you're the closest vagina.

That sounds to me like a very normal, neighbourly way of living.

I don't understand the fearfulness and suspicion of neighbours I see people posting about here. People are 'strangers' until you get to know them, and you get to know them by talking and making the effort to find points of connection.

I can also see why the specific man-hands-child-related-task-to-woman scenario has raised hackles. He really should know how to braid his child's hair.