To think there should be some sort of penalty for people who pull out of buying a house for crappy reasons?

You are horribly judgmental. It's fine that she's pulled out. Get over it.

I agree with you, OP. I think whoever pulls out should have to reasonably compensate the other party for expenses paid. When my ex and I split, we accepted an offer from a lovely couple, but they took so long to get their mortgage approved that my ex's follow on purchase fell through and he decided he wanted to stay in our house and buy me out instead. We pulled out of the sale but we compensated the couple for their survey because it felt like the right thing to do. That might not be a popular opinion, but I stand by it. If you are the seller and you pull out, you should compensate. And if you are the buyer and you pull out, similar rules should apply. Sometimes situations change and people need to utilise the law that is on their side, but it does feel too easy to take advantage when there is no cost at all.

I also wish that exchange of contracts and legal obligation happened early in the process. In that situation it would have secured the nice couples purchase of our house and my ex's follow on, and a horrible situation would have been avoided.

Of course they can. But as I said, I wouldn't be buying from someone who won't take it off the market. Its obvious they plan to mess you around if that's not the case.

You obviously seem to know more about this woman’s wants and needs than she even knows about herself 😂

I was a buyer who pulled out of a sale when I discovered my partner was having an affair.

It's so stressful. I'm convinced some make offers when they don't even have the money just for something to do.

When I was selling my favourite house my buyer sat around doing nothing for weeks. When the EA finally got hold of him he said his financial position has changed. I'm sure he didn't have the money to start with.

This was another sliding doors moment. I should have pulled out of buying the house from hell then.

When I next sold I made sure I only accepted viewings from proceedable buyers.

I loved into rented so I was in a good position to move again but the vendors were so slow it still took months.

I swear some people just come on here to rub salt into people's wounds

In my experience the Scottish system is also failing atm.
NeedToChangeName
In the past 6 months we have had three properties fall through as vendors lost out in the bidding war for onward purchases.
It's bloody ridiculous.

I think your mistake here was to accept an offer from someone who hadn’t sold and couldn’t proceed!

You’ve got to take the emotion out of it. She’s entirely within her legal and moral rights to withdraw from a sale. They may not have disclosed every tiny detail to you.

That being said, moving home is one of the most stressful life events, so I’m not surprised you’re finding it difficult with 3 small children. Much sympathy!

@IHearTheTickingOfTheClock

Unlikely to sell. There's good reason the process to buy something for hundreds of thousands takes a while, and compromises, to finalise.

Buyers will walk away if asked for a non refundable deposit.

Why did you choose to have so many children so close together in such unsuitable accommodation? I do sympathise but that's your own fault surely 🤷🏻‍♀️

The English system puts far too much risk on the seller IMHO.

As a minimum there should be a few things normalised such as surveys prior to offer and not taking properties off the market until exchange.

We had our fingers burnt by a buyer who fannied around for months before pulling put at the last minute.

They had all sorts of ridiculous demands (replacing a broken alarm system, warranty for the loft ladder, we had to tell them 3 times their surveyor mistook a house martin nest for a wasp nest and we would NOT remove it).

My parents and their 4 house chain managed to drag a house sale out for 6 months due to everyone being slow and indecisive.

Terrible market but in future do not take it off the market post offer unless and until the buyer provides a 5-10% non refundable deposit.

This is heartbreaking but calling the daughter a stroppy bitch is uncalled for.

just a word about how wonderful other countries’ systems are.

I’ve bought and sold two houses in France, the process is very similar to England. They do have a ‘sellers’ pack, rather like the one which Ed Balls tried to inflict on England, with a state vetted ( that is, someone buys a licence to do it) inspection and report…..except that no one takes any notice of it. The buyer still goes round , often with a builder, and inspects for themselves, because why should you trust anyone else’s word when this is hundreds of thousands of £ or €? If you are borrowing money, the lender needs to try to secure their loan by making sure it has a functioning roof etc. They can’t take the vendors’ word for it ( nor the borrowers). It’s just an extra expense, like the now defunct scheme to make everyone have a breathalyser in their car.

Actually, there is ten days when either party can pull out for any reason after signing the equivalent of the contract! so even more tense than England.

The searches in UK are not irrelevant, they can be the only thing which stops you buying a house which the neighbour is intending to deprive of light by building a monster extension.

As PP have said, there is no English system, it’s a private contract ( unlike in France where you have to have a state notary involved to collect the purchase tax). As long as you can legally transfer the title, it’s yours to buy and sell as you please. The ‘system ‘ has just evolved because that is how most people want or need to do it.

I won’t go into the Italian system where people used to leave the notary’s office and discuss the real price because they were avoiding the property tax….this may of course be a myth, or just my friend’s unique experience.

It could well be that the daughter has prevented her mother from buying a flat that is unsuited to her needs, despite the son pressing her to go ahead.

I don't think that's an 'invalid' reason and, as you also find yourselves in a property that is unsuited to your needs, I'm surprised you are not more sympathetic.

What a nightmare! I’d be seeking some sort of compensation for money spent in all this! I really feel for you, not quite the same as I’m a council tenant but when we tried to swap our home the first time round we were 2 days away from signing our tenancies over and the lady who was due to take ours pulled out. I was absolutely devastated. We’d sold furniture so as to make space and lessen the load come moving day, I’d handed my notice in at work as well as found new schools for my 3 children. Like you the children were too close in proximity in the flat which just ended up in tears and fights. The lady couldn’t care less. About a year later we eventually found someone else and the original lady sends me a message 3 weeks after moving asking if I’m still interested. I almost cried laughing and told her “too late! Had you said yes the first time round you’d have got lucky!” People are ruthless and selfish and don’t care what their actions mean to others. I really hope you find someone trustworthy and get into your new home soon!

But without meaning to sound harsh, your home / life / future means nothing to the people buying. What's important when buying property is whether it's the right one for them. Not the vendors personal circumstances. It's a trade for money.

If I'm buying a property and something happens to me which means it's no longer suitable or I find something wrong with the property, yes I'd pull out too. The vendors personal circumstances don't come into it. In your case for example, I highly doubt the potential buyer is doing it just to spite you.

As I said, I get how tough it is.

It’s a business transaction in the sense that money is exchanged for a property. They aren’t buying your house out of the kindness of their hearts and you aren’t selling yours out of the kindness of yours, it’s a business transaction. No one is going to do it unless it benefits them.

It’s not a great system but unfortunately until exchange anyone can pull out for any reason. I agree it should be changed.

I can sympathise wholeheartedly with you! We sold our last year, took 3 sets of buyers. First buyers: we accepted the offer, and put an offer on a house we loved. 6 weeks into process, they come round with a builder, point out things that were extremely obvious on their first two viewings and try to drop their offer. We wouldn’t budge, so lost the buyer. Back on the market and accepted an offer from a couple almost immediately, so we still had our purchase progressing thankfully! Within two weeks those buyers decided they didn’t want to leave London for west wales and pulled their offer! Back on the market it went, and sold within a couple of weeks again. However the vendors of the house we were buying decided not to sell as they were worried about changes in the mortgage rates (understandably) and so our purchase fell through!
we continued our sale, as we were desperate to leave, and have ended up renting off family for the time being. Fortunately we are now in the process of buying a real fixer upper, so we are in the best position to do it up and not have to move straight in, so all working out in the end. But with two young children it’s been a stressful couple of years! I definitely think there should be repercussions for people who pull out of house sales after a certain amount of time has passed (before exchange of contracts) there is so much money and time wasted, and it can be utterly soul destroying!

I feel for you, we were in a 2 bed flat with 3 children and it’s tough. I hope it works out for you soon.

With regards to the Scottish system, I don’t have any personal experience and this is anecdotal but my brother bought a house in Scotland last week and that had fallen through twice before he bought it so surely people can and do pull out before exchange?