Inheritance issues !

An argument could be made either way but what has announcing this achieved right now? You have the successful brother who will estrange himself from the family, so that relationship down the toilet. Brother and sister relationships damaged, those relationships down the toilet. Potentially the sister/sister relationship damaged if OPs sister isn’t happy with her split. It’s preempting the problem, particularly if the home gets swallowed up with care fees anyway.

My plan is regardless both children get a fair split. But if your planning on doing anything that’s going to cause drama then let it play out after your death.

But she was left an equal share, but chose to refuse it. She might have felt hurt to not been left anything. Emotions are not logical.

But that's just it, he may well have wanted to help his sister. His Mum didn't want to enable that she wanted to cut him out entirely and shower most of her money on her DD. When my Mum left me and my 4 sisters the same amount. We were all in different circumstances. Me and one of my older sisters are far better off financially so when we all meet up for a meal either me or my better off sister treats the others. My youngest sister is quite poor. She is not good with handling money either and her DH is worse than she is. So my younger sister paid off a lot of debt with her share of inheritance. A year later her car engine blew up and she had no car to get to work. I bought her a used car to enable her to work. By leaving us all equal shares there was no bad feeling between sisters and we all remain close and willing to help each other out. If I'd have been left out I'd have felt terribly hurt and wonder why my Mum didn't love me as much as siblings. It would have haunted me.

Relationships aren't built/maintained on 'position' within a family, relationships are built on the time, effort and emotional investment you put in. In terms of the aforementioned, adult children often don't give equal (to their parents) to that which their siblings do, ergo they may not receive equal.

Also depends on those investments they could all be held in trusts if via the wife’s inheritance.

Cannot understand how any parents could ever not leave exactly equal amounts to their children. All that does is breed issues and insecurities. Might be worth speaking to your parents about how that would inevitably ruin the relationships between siblings!

Indeed a divorce, a car accident a random onset of a disability could leave this very wealthy sibling on his arse worse than the sister who had to flee dv while the junky brother lives a life of no cares funded by mummy and daddy.

The OP’s brother is much further away than one pay cheque from being homeless. He has a well paid job, is married to a consultant, his house is mortgage-free plus he has other properties. He could probably go several years without pay cheques before he was on the breadline.

Don’t they say everybody is one pay check away from being homeless, so in fairness, any one of you could end up needing the inheritance just as much as the other.

The message your parents are giving is that they have a favourite child.
I’m sure that’s not actually true but I’d be pretty upset if this was to happen to anyone in our family and can totally understand why your DB1 is upset.

Your parents should give each of you an equal share of everything.
End of. Anything like the house that has to be sold afterwards, equal share of that too.
They might be thinking “oh well we’ll be gone” but actually, they are already causing hate and unease between all of you siblings whilst they’re still alive. 😢

I think what your parents are doing is fair as a) it’s their money and b) they appear to have given it a lot of thought. Not just said well I like Sally best so she is having the most etc.

My DF has said I won’t be getting much in his will. I’m financially well off from my career and have a DH who also has a lucrative career. Whereas my DB struggles and I also have teenage half siblings from my DF’s second marriage.

I’m ok with this because I don’t need any inheritance and I know that the decision in no way reflect’s my DF’s love for me.

I'd imagine your DB may not complain but he probably won't want to see your dsister again, as I'd imagine he'd be terribly hurt, as it will just remind him she was more loved by parents. In the future if your dsister needs any help or support I wouldn't expect your DB to be there for her tbh. That would be down to your parents.

Absolutely no idea how to vote as not sure which option is which. It’s your parent’s money to leave as they wish and you should be grateful for whatever you get. Inheritance isn’t even guaranteed anyway, they may need care or something before they die 🤷‍♀️

So basically he gets less because his married so has an extra income and basically his wife lost a love one thus they already inherited so afforded their house and private school ontop of that with their wages.

I mean that does seem a kick in the arse for just being in a couple with a spouse who’s had someone die. Vs the work shy druggy criminal whos getting most.

I mean it’s upto your parents at the end of the day but they surely didn’t expect this to go that well did they? Do they expect your brothers relationship with them to not change now when he clearly feels so slighted. Possibly also how he feels about ever helping siblings out too since in his eyes now clearly they are the family favourites now. Also need old age help well his definitely going to tell them to whistle isn’t he.

There's quite a big difference though between discussion of what's going to happen and someone voluntarily not taking their share as a result of that and someone actually having a reduced share given to them without any discussion or consideration of their feelings on the matter.

But they don't love every child equally. Some are being favoured over others. If you really loved each DC equally you'd treat them the same and give the DC the best chance of remaining on good terms after your death.

Your parents clearly want to rest in peace knowing that all of their children are going to have security for the rest of their lives and not have to worry. Its their choice and I'd do the same! DB isnt being "penalised" for doing well. Your sister didnt make an active choice to find a partner who was domestically abusive, unfortunately she ended up in that situation. Some people just have better luck than others. This set up will clearly give your parents peace of mind. I hope the siblings who dont agree with this arent being vocal about it and making it known to their parents. Their money, their choice!

Bit of a blanket statement.
one of my „advantages“ was being a carer to my younger sister.

my much younger brothers had the advantage of being born at a time where our father was a successful professional with a well-paid job.
when I was born he was a uni student…

This is all that needs to be said.

He didn't make a virtuous decision to benefit from an inheritance sufficient to buy a family house - he was lucky. His reward for chasing the high money job rather than the socially useful job is the substantial income.

If with all those benefits he resents his less fortunate siblings having a chance at some security then he could take a lesson from his parents.

Is it though? I find it a bit surprising that so many people are happy to die knowing they've left a festering mess of resentment behind them, wrecked their kids' relationships with each other, ruined any chance of them remembering their parents fondly, but just think 'fuck it, I'm dead, what do I care?'

The mistake is discussing it before you die. It’s a little like announcing a baby name. If you tell people before the baby arrives they believe they have the opportunity to change the outcome.

No one has a right to an inheritance and everyone has the right to leave their money in the way they choose. However, if my siblings got a greater share of any inheritance from parents, I would be spitting.

If a wealthy, mortgage free child of mine resented my providing some extra help to their public service working sibling who was struggling after DV, or their disabled nephew, or the sibling with mental health issues then I would consider I had failed miserably as a parent.

Presumably he equates love with money, like all the "its only fair to split equally" posters.

Life isn't fair. None of who do well do it entirely on our own and as a result of our own virtues. We have a bit of luck and support along the way - be that supportive parents, a supportive spouse, healthy and relatively fortunate lives or we made choices to prioritise the top paying jobs rather than lower paid but socially valuable work.

Equal splits is only fair if all are on an equal footing when the will is made. Which is also why wills should be reviewed regularly if circumstances change.

Forensic pathologist and also qualified make up artist ( I know it’s a weird combo)

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