To think giving me one day a week actually isn’t ok?? Or AIBU?

At least if he got home on Friday night you'd be able to snatch some moments of time together and for him to see his DC briefly sometime on a Saturday. My DH was WFH for ages and I'd just see him for a coffee at an arranged time, a quick lunch then he'd be free by the evening but I'd leave him to get on with it. Being a workaholic and leaving your partner to be a lone parent most of the time is a killer. He is not present in any sense by the sounds of it.

I think you have to suck it up for the 9 months but you need to insist things change after that. Even if that means a pay cut.

Totally this.
I'm in a very senior role and admin, every Saturday? Literally no one does it.

He must be totally incapable of managing his workload. Or actively avoiding family life…

This is a tricky one as it sounds like he is working incredibly hard, had a change in circumstances after you had started your family, and is being hands on on the day he is home. But long term this isn’t sustainable for your marriage and family life and once this contract ends, he needs to decide whether to take a slightly less intense job and have more family time to keep his family together, or risk it falling apart if he’s barely ever around.

And as others have said, if he’s able to get any of this Saturday admin done during the weekday evenings and get back earlier on the weekend, he should absolutely be doing this.

So he's working 6 days a week and doing childcare on the 7th, and he's getting a hard time?!

OP is working 5 days and doing childcare the rest of the time, while he relaxes like a single childless man 6 evenings per week.

I think he’s neglecting his child and his marriage. Parenting isn’t a one day a week job.

So he's working 6 days a week and doing childcare on the 7th, and he's getting a hard time?!

It's very difficult for the family, yes, because it's a large and demanding workload, but he's hardly living a life of leisure.

So the problem is that he’s a workaholic and has always prioritised work over everything else. You’ve probably got a good idea why this is: does he get his sense of self worth from work?

You need to have a hard conversation with him and tell him this needs to change. He’s got other, more important, responsibilities now. Work cannot be the centre of his life anymore.

What does he do in the evenings when he's away? Couldn't he do his admin then?

even the most hardworking people I know, who pull all-nighters and work weekends in the law and accountancy for the big firms never have to do all day every single Saturday for years at a time without fail.

This.

If he was as high up as you say in the NHS he would have an EA or secretary to do his admin. A whole Saturday every week doing admin catchup - if true - means frankly he isn’t any good at his job. He also isn’t prioritising you and his child.

What do parents in high flying jobs do? They work after kids are in bed so they have their weekends free for family time.

I’m afraid he is having you on about what these Saturdays are for. Whether it’s a second family, drugs, drinking, golfing… who knows. If the admin excuse is true, then any normal person would rather WFH “catching up” on a Saturday so they could potter out to say hi, eat lunch with the family etc.

If I had to guess, I’d say maybe gambling addiction, porn/camgirls/escorts, or affair with a colleague.

Of course it's unacceptable! Surely the bulk of the admin could be done in the evenings when he is presumably living the life of a single man. So Friday evenings for him is now another free night? Do the admin then you poor excuse for a father!

I’m guessing that he’s a consultant…?
It’s an all encompassing job and really hard for the partner and kids. Like you I got used to pretty much being a single parent. We would argue at weekends as he had no idea about the ever changing needs and fads of toddlers and would want to act like Disney dad to make up for hardly seeing them in the week. I did all the family admin, parents eve etc.

My advice is that you need to talk to him and really explain how you feel. It’s not just about you having alone time, it’s about family time, time as a couple and being present in the children’s lives. Right now he is adding nothing to your lives and if you split you would get a lot more time to yourself.

I got so used to xh not being around that he in turn felt unneeded….of course some woman caught his eye who needed him…

It's easier to be naughty without a child to look after all week.

Is this the consultant who’s been posted about several times previously by the op?

Does his job description / contracted hours actually require him to do all his admin on Saturdays? Is he paid for this? Does he have good holidays at least, to make up for the fact he does 6 day weeks? Does he pull his weight during holidays? If he's having to do admin all day Saturday to keep his head above the water at work it sounds like its an HR issue...like the job is not possible to do in a normal 5 day working week.

Maybe DH should also put one in OP's car and in her bag ? Who knows what she might be up to while he is away?

I know nothing about NHS working practice, but my neighbour is CEO of one of our local trusts. She strikes me as conscientious, but I know she would never work at weekends.

I think you need to have a conversation with your husband about your lifestyle. I suspect that he provides very well for you, and that he’ll take a massive pay cut to work closer and shorter hours.

I’m guessing you probably don’t want to give up the lifestyle you have now either?

So he has every weekday evening to do the extra work but is choosing not to?

I'd be done with this shit.

I'd consider putting an airtag in his car and another hidden in his briefcase/bag. A previous thread made me think of that!

I'd have to be sure I think. 😉

Although if he does that, he needs some downtime at the weekend. Or he'll burn out.

Not really. He gets every evening during the week to himself. And what’s the point in them even being married if OP spends all day Sunday on her own doing her own thing? She spends all week looking after their child on her own, then all day Sunday doing something else on her own.

He has his weekday evenings free, while you do all the childcare, why can't he do that 'admin' then? What kind of admin is it? Occasional catch up, fair enough, but full day every single saturday`?

He should be home Friday and do the admin in the week 🤷‍♀️

You know, a lot of teachers say they work this much and it doesn't seem to be pulled apart as much as this man's work, which we know nothing about other he's high in the NHS and has a whole day of admin.

Maybe we could give the benefit of the doubt on this one?