To think we should get the double room?

Because she’s your mother, you’re younger, and this is gift they have treated you all with. Which is lovely of them.

why are you arguing about now you don’t want to shove a bed a few feet?

But your mum's probably wondering why you can't push the singles together.

If there’s 3 other twin rooms then you and child in 1 push beds together and husband in another room and alternate if child will sleep with either of you. It’s not ideal if you want to share a room with husband but considering your parents are paying you can’t really push for the bigger bedroom and bed, of course you can ask but if it’s a no then it’s a no

I would always offer the bigger bed if someone had an actual need for it.

...but you haven't got an actual need for it

Will they be watching your kid for any time while you on holiday?

How do you know your father 'always' sleeps on the sofa? You don't live with them, do you? Do you know if he always does this on holiday? Is there even a sofa comfortable enough for him to sleep on anyway?

The older you are, the more you need a comfortable bed - they're paying, their choice.

Because they are paying thousands and want the best room and to be comfortable.
Yes it would be nice of them to offer... But they don't want to.*

Honestly BRING A DOUBLE FITTED SHEET AND PUSH THE SINGLES TOGETHER

Then book and pay for your own holidays in future

*Personally I fucking hate single beds I would never sleep in one ever again except under duress.

I have the exact same situation with my ASD 8 year old. Cannot fall asleep alone and wakes the moment I twitch, let alone try to move to another bed.

I also frequently holiday with my parents and always get the double bed for this reason, including the one time they paid for the accommodation. In this situation, what works best for the child, works best for everyone.

Another trip, when I paid, both rooms were doubles but one had an en-suite and balcony access while the other one was small and pretty dark. I took the dark room because it was safer to have a room with no balcony access. Our only considerations when choosing rooms are what works best for DC (who the grandparents obviously want to holiday with). We also frequently book accommodation that has more rooms than we need because it meets other requirements so it’s worth it to us. I had no idea that’s considered so weird to so many people.

The replies on this thread have made me want to bang my head against a wall. Can people really not fathom that what’s normal in many situations won’t work in others. But, as you say OP, after a night of musical beds, your mum will likely be moving your belongings into the double room for you.

What? You want your mother to push the singles together?

I would always offer the bigger bed if someone had an actual need for it. I would put other people before myself. Maybe that’s just me

what you on about, you can just push the singles together.

This is all very petty and a non issue, sounds like you just want a fight.

quite obviously you can just push the singles together, you don’t even need fo ask someone to do it for you, and habe three double rooms.

its a complete non issue.

I was going to say yabu but with an asd child and co sleeping yanbu.

I would see if the other beds can be turned into a double then ask your parents if you can swap. If they say no options are not going because it won't work for you, or being very very clear if your child is up early you will be using the rest of the villa regardless of where your dad decides to sleep. Because expecting you to avoid the living area because he'll be sleep there when there's beds available is also U.

Next time don't invite them or make sure you have a suitable villa!

Oh! I’m just realising some of the angst is to do with needing hubby to be in the same bed with her too!

My poor DH 😂😂 my brain was not even there… we stopped worrying about stuff like that once ND DC left cot and the bed situation rose it’s head - it’s 1-2weeks, you survive and the holiday is busy!

So what would actually happen if you decided not to go?

I want doesn't get...

The more you post, the more disastrous this sounds.

I've pushed beds together and if you put all the spare quilts and bedding across the 2 and then a sheet it can be really comfortable, and roomier.

You've plenty of empty beds to pinch the bedding from. I'd consider taking a roll of duct tape to actually tape the beds together too.

@Bibbidybobbidyroo

I think a lot of your anxiety relates to the idea of taking your daughter abroad. The sleeping situation is just part of that. I think that is totally resolvable, very very easily. Except for your sofa sleeping father which is frankly very odd and unnecessary when there is a bed for him.

I am giving you some ideas about what might help on hol.

Firstly, if you have DLA for your daughter this will open a lot of doors to getting her support (depends where you’re going but a lot of places accept front page as evidence even abroad).

• airport support, special assistance, queue skips, priority for boarding on planes and for seats
• free carer ticket, reduced entry price, queue skips, access to quiet space, sensory bag, sensory maps etc etc

Try and show your daughter where she’ll be going and what she’ll be doing, everything from at the airport to boarding a plane/boat/train/whatever (some autistics have videos posted on you tube of this sort of thing), promo videos, pictures, google maps, websites all help. As can introducing her to the food, music, language whatever before you go so it isn’t all strange to her. Bring her environment with her as much as you can.

Have your plans made in advance, have no more than 2-3 ‘big’ things to do each week. This makes it less overwhelming for her and less stressful for you because it’s enough to be dealing with them when they are there.

If you are swimming invest in swim shoes, swim jacket and some sensory/swim/small world toys (about 10 to play with - floats to chase after, plastic figures, die cast cars) If she is asd likely may have adhd or dcd so always better to have things to occupy or stop them falling.

If none of the above applies for you, I hope it is helpful to someone else.

Why do you go away with them?

Much better to go somewhere on your own and do what you need to do.

Useful advice from pps about zip ties and turning mattresses sideways! Will store for future reference.

@Bibbidybobbidyroo I agree that you need to take the necessary practical steps. Tbh two of you in two singles pushed together plus dh or you in another room sounds better than all three in the double anyway.

btw @Grimchmas the op was right to say on principle not on principal. I don’t usually correct grammar but it felt as tho you were correcting hers. Apologies if that’s not the case.