To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

We had a downstairs neighbour who I am pretty sure was a psychopath. He and his wife made our lives hell. Initially we tried to get on with them, find solutions to the disputes they created, and when that didn't work we got a ring doorbell and blocked their email and phone numbers. Stayed out a lot. Spent a fortune in legal fees. Police involved twice. It affected my physical and mental health, DH too.

In the end we moved. I wished we'd gone sooner but I loved the flat and hoped we'd find a way to get along. But they continually wanted to pick a fight about something, anything. They even did everything they could to disrupt our sale (despite apparently hating us) and in the end it took a year to get out.

It took over a year after that for me to stop feeling panicky when I heard a door slam or someone knock on the door (and longer to stop feeling guilty about the people we sold the flat to).

These days I occasionally remember them and can laugh about how batshit they were.

Oh and we moved a long way away to somewhere when I can only just see my nearest neighbour 100m down the road.

DPs neighbours trashed the house and garden. Noise 24/7, fires in the garden, swearing, very antisocial.

Police, council, owner, MPs did nothing to help despite many meetings, letters, calls etc. This went on for years. DM was almost suicidal. The rats were the final straw.

DPs sold cheaply at auction and moved away. Best thing they did.

Mental health comes first, too late to edit...

Great, use your newfound knowledge! After the first time, if it happens again, I'm primed and ready with mine. It's the initial move that's both logistically and conceptually challenging, but you're talk health comes first.

Ours built a bar during lockdown in their front garden right opposite our house. So weekends now consist of them watching sport out in it, drinking and loud shouting/guffawing/music until all hours. And if that wasn't joy enough, they've got some sort of giant bulldog with a bark like a hound from hell. Most days I fantasise about how to kill them all and get away with it. I haven't made any official complaints about the noise as we're looking to move in the next few years but need to stay in the area due to our children/grandchildren. I have no words for how much I hate them - it's a quiet rural hamlet and we're on a group of 6 houses. Don't even hear a peep from the others.

The only solution is to move. Terrible neighbours never come to realise that they’re behaving badly and change.

we’ve had it twice - one playing drum & bass music at full volume all day and night, and one psychopath who was hell bent on making life miserable for us ( and did so successfully).

My last house I lived next year to a single guy who was very quiet. I was so lucky. He sold the house and it was bought by a landlord who rented it out to a couple and 8 kids. It was only a small 4 bedroom terrace.

they were nice but loud. Too many people in the house. The dad shouted at the kids lots. Kids had friends round in the garden. Dad always trying to fix his car. Rubbish overflowing. Kids running about.

it was a nightmare. I always had my tv on. I did speak to them and they admitted they were evicted cause of noise in last house . They apologised and had an argument on who was making the most noise.

I was playing to sell so didn’t want to complain too much.

Try a land registry search in that case? I knew mine was emergency housing from another Borough, so the Councillor was the way to go, but had it been private I would have gone down the land registry route, I think it's only a few pounds for a search. But try the councillor anyway
.

I think ours regrets joining the WhatsApp group!!

My family had no choice but to move. I seem to be the person that these families gravitate too. I've had no luck with neighbours. First I lived in a flat, and my upstairs neighbour would spend most nights arguing with her boyfriend. We went through all the procedures with the local council, got councillors involved etc. In the end I managed to get a home swap.
The new house we moved into was everything we needed as a family. But a couple of months of living there. The landlord sold up, and someone else brought the house next door. It was then let out as a student house. I have no idea how I spent 9 years living there. But I can definitely say it had a massive impact on my mental and physical health. Trying to raise 3 small children, one with additional needs. Then being pregnant whilst looking after 3 small kids, I still don't know how I done it. The students partying nearly every weekend, noise in the early of the hours. Waking up my kids when they got back from partying/clubbing. Again I went through all the official channels. As like last time I managed to move house.
Now I'm in my current house, and although my neighbours are not ideal. They are the best of a bad bunch. They're more scruffy than anything else.
You will find most official procedures take a long time, and you rarely see anything successful come out of them. Disruptive neighbours are unfortunately selfish, and don't think about the impact on others. You're most likely in for a long battle. If you can move, I would. I know it doesn't guarantee your next neighbours will be perfect. But after my experience of staying next to nightmare neighbours, I regret the impact it had on my health (both mentally and physically).

I asked the local councillor on our street WhatsApp group for the housing officer's number, and called and texted him every time.
Others on the street then spoke up about it too. They were gone within a month.

I was in your current situation for 10 years, neighbouring properties bought by student let companies. For some reason they always attracted increasingly worse behaved tenants. I had to leave my job because I never got any sleep with parties and fire alarms almost every night, eventually ended up moving as it took a huge toll on my mental health.

It can creep up on you, the mental health toll, still my advice would be as painful as it is, just move sooner than later

You move. There’s no other option. These people are dysfunctional. Anything you do don’t change that.

We moved. Owned an ex council house. Lovely garden, spacious home. But the neighbours... Christ almighty summers were hideous. Everyone out making loud noises, garden parties at top volume, people lounging about and smoking near our windows. Awful. So we moved. Best decision ever.

I'd forgotten this - after I'd gotten the works stopped to rectify the damage, they carried on with the part of itthat didn't impact our house. Came home one day to discover their builders has installed a rooflight close to the boundary, lifting up our roof tiles and installing part of the roof light on our side.

When I challenged it, they again were bafed as to what the problem was. That's where they want their roof light so we should just agree to part of it being installed on our property. Ummmmmm, no.

Ours seem completely respectable, have decent jobs etc. But they are so unbelievably entitled. Repeatedly damaged our property when carrrying out a loft conversion and couldn't understand why we wouldn't just let them crack on (had we not challenged it and made them rectify it, the joists for the conversion would have been permanently tresspassing into our attic). Have massive trees on their side of the boundary which they regularly get cut back on their side, dropping a large amount of the branches into our garden, damaging our fence and causing the trees to grow disproportionately on to our side (they were about 4ft when they moved in and well maintained - now they're taller than the houses) but when we had them cut back on our side to the boundary they kicked off.

Constantly parking in our spaces - not just allocated spaces but land we actually own. They can't see what the issue is - they had an extra car so why shouldn't they use our land when we were out and why should they have to move it when we get back and want to use our parking space.

Part of me wants to move but I love the area and I had to file for an injunction to stop the attic works and get them to rectify the damage after repeated requests to stop went ignored and I'd have to disclose that to any potential buyers.

We live in a very nice, middle-class road in a quiet area. Our neighbour (wealthy, lives alone) slams their internal doors incessantly. They go in a room, slam. Leave a room, slam. The houses are old, with thick walls, but our pictures move with the force. We have spoken to them, very courteously, but they deny the sound is from them. Our house is semi-detached so it's obvious it is them. The people living on the other side have an extensive collection of power tools which they deploy at every moment of daylight, all weekend, and as he WFH, during the week quite often too. Not all annoying neighbours are scumbag druggies.

I just didn't cope. I had 2 lots each side and it ruined my mental health. I had an argument with one side about noise once and it helped for a bit but I was selling by then. The other side nothing helped. Our council are useless and she didn't care about the police. I sold at a loss 17 months after moving in.

Just recently both sides have now sold. I do hope it was due to the person I sold to ...

It took me 2 years to recover. It felt like I was going mad. I rented an apartment and even though I was surrounded by alot more people it was much quieter. I'm now detached in a really quiet neighborhood.

I don't get why people are like this. We all have to live together so we all have to be considerate.

It's like they're a different species. Unfortunately they breed and it passes on@Ulysees

yes, this is our unfortunate position slum daddy landlord who put his equally scummy adult kids and grandkids in.

Thank you for starting this thread. It’s horrible to know others are in the same boat, but validating in a way. As you do start to think is it just us?