To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

After escaping DV which my ex partner put me in hospital, my young son and myself moved to the other end of the country. The next door old couple neighbours are horrendous 😕 they complain when my son plays quietly outside in our own garden (no noisy ball games etc, just playing with cars/dinosaurs figures)as him being there in the garden makes there dog bark! They complain that our online shop delivery (10.00 sunday morning) is too early (I work all week).the bad rain we have had lately is running into there garden and they wanted me to go out in the middle of a storm and brush the rain water back into my garden! I dont live on a hill or anything where the water can flood there garden, just a normal semi detached house. I got a ring doorbell camera because they kept ringing my door late at night over nothing! ( for example My bins were out too early in the morning of collection day( 8.00am as thats when I go to work..bring them in 5.00pm when get back from work)..they have said I am spying on them with the ring doorbell that covers my property only. Its bird watch week and my son and I put up a small bird table and put some seeds/nuts on it..they came round to complain as the birds are setting there dog off barking! Its a ficking nightmare. I am keeping a written log as well as the ring doorbell tapes and I am going to complain about them...its a nightmare living next door to awful neighbours!

@Backhander that’s the feeling exactly. Oddly I find it hard to retaliate and stand up for myself, and yet I have absolutely no problem going all guns blazing for anyone else who needs help and support. It’s a bizarre situation.

@Ulysees my fingers, toes and legs are all crossed for you! We are viewing another two Friday. One is large but need some work and the other is show home perfect, but we think the rooms maybe too small. I think I may wanting that bungalow but on the other bungalows plot! We should also be no chain, no survey, cash buyers. Depending on what vendors will accept.
I am genuinely excited to get up in the morning now it feels like we may have found our end goal.

We moved. It was the only way. I feel I can breathe now, fully relax. It’s so oppressive when you are not able to relax in your own home. You feel like you are suffocating.

Christ! @Rockschooldropout That sounds awful.

Sympathy to everyone else too. It really does have a lasting impact. I'm looking to move again at the moment and the neighbours will be one of the most important factors. I'd prefer detached I think if possible.

About 15 years ago .. when I was still with x h , we sold our house but our onward sale collapsed so we had to move into rented (unbeknown to me it was in xh’s favour as he was having an affair and planning to move in with her ) but that’s another story ..
it was a lovely house in a quiet cul de sac , rented through an estate agent and the house next door was the same . Very peaceful , next door were a quiet couple .. until they split up and moved out .
then a new couple moved in .. they seemed quiet at first , ran their own business , but seemed to keep odd hours , often being awake all night and sleeping all day ! It started to grate as they Would put music on at night and have the tv on full blast .
DD was a baby and I was sleep deprived as it was.. things started to ramp up with all night music , every bloody night .. it was unbearable .. then the parties started .. all weekend the house would be rammed with people and the parties would start Friday evening and end Sunday night .
We complained to the letting agent with no success until one night they had the party to end all parties .. it was still going on at 2am and utterly exhausted xh went round to politely ask them to turn it down and was punched in the face !
I called the police and that party was wrapped up as well as the tenant being charged with assault ..
However the next night to clearly make a point to us .. the music went on at 8 pm .. and the same song Ring of Fire by Johnny cash was played at full volume on repeat until 8 am .. the kids were exhausted .. we were exhausted and called the letting agent and also told them of the assault .. they were promptly served notice and went of their own volition a couple of weeks later ….
I still can’t hear that song without my blood running cold

Have fun 😁

@Poppysmom22 our idiot neighbour has managed to give me his email address. As you say petty but satisfying.

signing him up for lots of erectile dysfunction adverts improved my mood and now when ever I’m asked for my address for spam advertising I use his -petty yes, childish absolutely, immature undoubtedly- fun and strangely satisfying totally

@Ulysees we are going the bungalow route. We get they are probably
going to be moaney, but a) look after their properties better possibly due to having more time if not money, b) they seem to look after their neighbours more - that so called net twitching keeps areas safe, and older people can be more tenacious(?) about getting police out etc. I thought crime would be higher due to vulnerability, but in all the areas we are looking it’s in fact lower and much more nuisance/ spur of the moment type crime rather than planned burglaries and muggings.
Finally they get the adage that good fences make good neighbours. The balance between being neighbours but not in each others faces 24/7 seems to be so much better.

. Edit posted in error sorry

Spent four years next to an absolute hellish neighbour. DH and I eventually moved. It's been 6 years and whilst I've worked through a lot of the anxiety there are some lasting effects that I don't think will ever be fully recovered from. Have absolutely amazing neighbours now though so count ourselves super lucky.

I don't think you ever get over it either. I sold at a loss and I'm still resentful I had to. But there was no penalty for them officially. One side rented so as long as the rent was paid they didn't care.

Also if you have a dispute you have to declare it. The onus is unfairly on the victim.

I take some solace knowing that one side hated renters or change.

I'm in a bungalow and it's fabulous! My neighbors are quiet and keep to themselves.

But I was very particular about the area and street I bought which limited where I could live. I discounted probably lovely homes because of my concerns. I scouted this area day and night to make sure it was quiet.

I still haven't recovered. Loud music and voices set off my anxiety.

I also haven't recovered from the way out council and others treated me.

But I do think the person who bought from me either had them about their noise in a way I couldn't or the economic downturn caught up with them or both. I wish them a lifetime of misery.

I wish you all quiet homes to recover in.

Bungalows are awesome to live in. Now it’s winter the neighbours have all gone into hibernation so I prob won’t see them again till march

Fingers crossed @Ulysees

@Ulysees well fingers crossed for you I moved into a bungalow now my neighbours here are a different kind of nutty but mainly it’s around bins and mowing and that I can live with if Eminem moves in to the street I might rethink

To be honest when he asked me who we had sold it to I said oh we sold to xxx who is a well known in the area as a bare knuckle fighter with a streak of unpredictability and comes from a large community of like minded people who are fond of large parties and keep a pony in the garden. It was a lie but face was worth it.