To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

Fingers crossed it goes smoothly!

I had a big row with my next door neighbour which led to a horrible year of dreading coming home, dreading having guests, verbal abuse shouted at me, not going in garden, think they possibly caused damage to our property so was awful but then unbelievably it all came to a bit of a head one day and I was able to sit down and make the peace- basically had to act a bit like a parent to a toddler having a tantrum and everything's been fine since.
I felt so trapped at the time as wanted to move and was speaking to house buying companies as I don't get how you sell when you've got an awful neighbour? Legally you can get in trouble if you don't declare ? Annoyingly the people we bought off sold due to a dispute with same neighbour and never told us till later and I could have got them into trouble for it (said neighbour told us so I imagine would have done the same had we moved)

I’m in a semi detached house and from when we moved in in 2013 until 2021 we lived next to VERY anti social neighbours. Without disclosing too much revealing information, 4 adults next door, children involved. Music blaring all hours, their weed stank up our house, no one worked, mess outside of the house, burning plastic in summer - a whole tick list of everything you would dread! We even got the police involved.

Me and my fiancé would both often wake up shattered for work in the morning, and they’d be enjoying a long lie in!

Eventually they had a big falling out and a fight, half the house left, the other half stayed.

I made the effort for the sake of my mental health (which was destroyed) to be nice, and we then got on well with them (wouldn’t say friends, but on good civil terms).

Eventually the man attacked the woman, and they all left. The house was empty and boarded up for almost a year and the relief I felt was nothing short of a miracle!

When the council started clearing out and working on the house for their next tenants over the coming 10 months, my nerves were absolutely shredded. I’d start crying when the workmen arrived.

I always dreamt of selling our home and moving into a detached house with no one around for miles!

Thankfully we have the loveliest neighbours going. Children the same age as my daughter, they get on, always take in our parcels, I’ve even been round theirs for a cup of tea. A chalk and cheese experience!

How sad that this is such a common experience.

I live in an area where lots of people have been on Jeremy Kyle! Almost every street is like @TheaBrandt described.

We used to live next door to a late evening DIYer who disturbed the neighbours on the other side of us who thought we were making the noise and punished us for it (probably mentioned it on MN before) with loud parties every weekend going on to early in the morning. There was much more to it than that but suffice to say both DH and I still have flashbacks and chest pains whenever we hear loud music.
We moved.

A detached house or bungalow sounds like heaven but as we are on disabilty benefits it will never happen.

Wish there was a way for all these hideous people to all live together away from decent society.

We had terrible neighbours in london it was like living next door to Jeremy Kyle rejects. I was on mat leave we didn’t really notice it until then. Drug dealing/ thuggish types hanging around outside/ out of control aggressive dogs / fights in the street/ weed smoking in the garden and the ever present gangsta rap. So sad as so many lovely people lived in the Victorian row of terraced flats never heard a peep out of anyone else - they disrupted so many people. We were going to move out of London anyway but they expedited that. So appreciate our heavenly neighbours now (quiet thoughtful retired doctors).

Not quite at the same level but I used to live in a semi-detached 70's build, and the neighbour's 14 year old son used to drive me mad. They were genuinely lovely people, but because they had a side extension on their house where the couple slept, and the son's bedroom was adjoining ours, we could hear more noise than what they could!

He used to play loud music, be screaming at his playstation all night, running up the stairs, slamming doors, shouting at his mum. I couldn't relax in my lounge or bedroom without hearing him multiple times an evening. If we text them asking him to turn it down, it would get done but then carry on the next evening and how many times can you text the same request? It got embarrassing in the end.

I moved 30 minutes further away from work to afford a detached house and it's without doubt THE best decision I've ever made. No neighbour noise whatsoever or even any passing traffic and my MH is great for it. It's utter bliss tbh.

@Ulysees I would be tempted to stick a note through each door and say you are interested in buying should they consider selling - nothing ventured and all that.

@Ulysees tell the estate agent you are interested in that area, they can then send you details of any other listings. Saves the internet trawl.
At least you’ve pinpointed the area you want. We’ve managed to narrow it down to 5 viewing over the next two weeks in three different counties ….

Sounds good. I'd still drive round at different times of day/night to get a feel for the area.

Fingers crossed OP that sounds positive

We moved. Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear.

I couldn't sit out in our garden before because of the noise of them constantly in their back yard shouting and swearing.

It's lovely now I can sit outside.

In a previous flat a druggie moved in below, I called the landlord not quite knowing what he'd do, he sent some heavies round who tipped the guy out with all his stuff.

I moved from there too.

When my friend sold one of her houses her buyers canvassed the neighbors for noise which I should have done with my house from hell. If I had done so I would have found out about them! The neighbors the other side of the cokehead moved not long after we did.

Also lurk at different times to see if it gets noisy.

Recovery from horrible neighbors makes you hyper vigilant and less trusting. I always assumed that we all have to live together on this small island so we are all considerate. But I'm convinced that from top down we are encouraged to only think of ourselves.

Having said that it's not normal. Most people just get on with their own lives and don't victimise others.

Our bungalow neighbors are so quiet. I think their expectation is that everything is really neat which I get and ours will be when it's finished. But I'll take anything for quiet.

Do landlords need to register with the local authority where you are? They do in Scotland. I think other places are talking about it. Agitate for that please everyone.
Also, hate crime laws - if the victim feels a hate incident has occurred then in has. You do not need to be a proven member of a group to be a victim of hate crime. So, if you are wearing what could be perceived as a hijab and nasty fascist neighbours shout islamophobic abuse (and you get it on camera/recorded) then it's a hate incident. Likewise two same sex people acting romantically and getting homophobic abuse is a hate incident - even if they are really as heterosexual as pie.
Get CCTV. Some have sound recording ability.....

@Bewilderedallthetine I'm so sorry that you still haven't found your happy place. My neighbours are similar (about noise) and it is just as stressful as having noisy neighbours. I worry about every little noise they make and I can't imagine being able to let them use their paddling pool or have friends over to stay without being so anxious it wouldn't be worth it. When I rented my house out last summer, he shouted in the lady's face and called her a c* and all sorts of repulsive things.

You poor woman. I had so many bad neighbours over the years and it was just awful and caused me to become insomniac. One set of neighbours in a nice area were dealing drugs, people coming and going, making noise all night, it was hell, always been raided by police. Dog constantly barking non stop. So happy in new place as neighbours all considerate and makes such a difference to be able to relax in new home.
Contact owner of house and let them deal with it and the counsellor as you said. Hope things improve as causes such stress and anxiety living beside yobs who do not give a damn about anyone but themselves and have no pride or shame.

I think that anybody can suffer from having an awful neighbour, renter or owner. In my rented flat the nightmare neighbours owned the penthouse upstairs, they were awful.

Now where I rent it's lovely and a mixture of rentals and owned houses. My neighbour on one side rents the other owns and they are both lovely (terraced and I'm in the middle).

The worst house on the street is one that is owned by the people who live there. One of the post detached ones, parties outside every weekend, people being sick in the street.

It's not renters that are the issue, it's just scummy people. Yes this house doesn't belong to me (unfortunately) but I care for it like it does and have consideration for my neighbours.