To want to give this prize back after 6 months.

You should have just accepted and been grateful for the original prize. It's embarrassing to have asked for double the number of tickets, even if they were offered.

He has been rubbish but it was super cringe of you to ask for double the number of tickets.

I'd revert to kindly accepting the 4 and buying him a bottle of something as a thank you.

But yeah, I don't embarrass easily but I can understand why you'd be super embarrassed at what you did.

Not going is depriving someone else of the tickets and would be a bit of a slap in the face for a nice donation. Just go and enjoy it, if the opportunity arises thank him for the tickets and maybe gently remind him he did offer more than four if you needed more.

It would be weird not to go having chased him and asked for extra tickets. I’d just email very briefly and say thanks and you only asked for extra tickets as he’d suggested it. As something of an aside, I do think asking for 8 tickets was a bit cheeky. 5 or 6 would have seemed ok. But 8 seems over the top. But it’s done now and would seem even more awkward to reject the whole thing now he has sorted it out.

You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder about being the 'little person'

And you're letting this colour every interaction you've had with them

He offered the tickets and more, you got them, so go and stop overthinking something that isn't reaso.

Maybe in the future don't accept gifts or prizes that are likely to make you feel unimportant and small.

This is all in your head I'm afraid.

Asking for an additional 4 tickets?! Wowzers!!

‘I don’t hold unconfirmed dates’?! Double Wowzers!!

He was unreasonable to not get back to you but it was an oversight. You were super cheeky and I’d be reluctant to bend over backwards to assist you as a result.

B. I agree with others that “more tickets if you like” was probably meant to cover “could we possibly have one extra for a third child/Uncle Sam who’s a massive fan?”. I also think asking for double the amount was OTT. But - fair enough to remind him that you’d spoken about it and he’d offered. And he’s being a bit off; if you’ve donated something to a raffle, you’ve had the kudos for that and should honour it promptly - would be more usual for the school to sort it, honestly. So I can see why it all feels a bit awkward when you’ve had to chase and behave like you’re begging for a freebie.

just say you are embarrassed because you thought he said you could bring extra
either say it to him face to face or by email.
but go regardless
definitely raise it somehow

Asking for 8 was very cheeky.

In any other situation (birthdays, weddings etc) you wouldn’t take double the amount of people, you would possibly just ask for an extra 1 or 2 at a stretch.

It’s a family ticket basically and not everyone has 2 adults and 2 kids, so he was being generous offering extra.

It sounds like you’ve invited an extra family!

I would apologise for being cheeky and say that you were under the impression that it would be ok and that if 8 is too many then you can reduce it.

I would definitely still go though.

B but perhaps "Apologies, I must have misunderstood our conversation , but 4 is fine thank you"

B for sure.

This. 100% I bet he was shocked when he saw you wanted 8 tickets, which is double the original amount.

I say he definitely meant if you were a family of 5, or 6 at a push.

He should have acknowledged your earlier email about alternative dates, but you chose to then double-book yourself on those dates. (Did you even actually double book yourself, or were you making a point with 'I don't hold unconfirmed dates?)

You also asked to double the number of free tickets. I think it's a social convention to not ignore someone for three months (so he failed there) but it's also a social convention not to ask someone for twice as many gifts as they have offered (so that was on you).

I don't think you like this man or his wife very much, and that has coloured your responses. You seem unhappy he is 'influential' at school (whatever that means), but he has clearly been helping out with fundraising, etc, so he's earned that influence. He tried to do a nice thing by offering you a few additional tickets (if you're not close, how does he know what size your family is?), and you took the piss there. He finally got around to sorting out your freebie, and you snubbed it and said you wanted a different date.

Your language of 'grand gesture' and 'lording over the peasants' implies to me that you have a problem with his wealth and/or status.

Honestly, I just don't think either of you communicate well with each other (some people just have clashing personalities/styles), and it's taken the shine off what would have been a lovely treat. However, where you are now, he's offered you the eight tickets you wanted for the date you wanted - to decline the tickets would be a further snub towards him and quite rude.

I think I would just reply and say, 'Hi x, Amazing, thanks so much for your generosity. Looking forward to it.'

There is no other way to close this down without coming across badly.

I would have thought when he said about the extras he meant if you had more than two kids, but not expecting you to bring two other adults. Maybe if you needed one or two extra tickets, not double. Sounds like you are bringing a whole extra family which probably isn’t what he was offering. But in any case don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Just thank him and move on with your life - I think you are slightly overthinking this.

I'd not go either OP.

If you don't take them OP maybe just offer them to another family who genuinely couldn't afford to go and would really appreciate any free outing for their kids. Ask him if you can pass them forward via a local charity link that helps vulnerable families. They really wouldn't have such hang ups ( I'm not saying your wrong to have them) and tickets go to kids who it really makes a difference to.

I still think it's cheeky to ask for 8 tickets. Do you need 8? How many children do you have?

But also won 4 tickets and he did say you could have extra (even if he didn't mean it or meant 1 or 2 extra) so ultimately should have been more responsive.

Some people say things and don't mean what they say which isn't your fault but "bring whoever you like" probably didn't mean you can have 8 tickets...

I think it would be selfish to not let your son go when you say he's a huge fan because you are now feeling uncomfortable.

I think this is a different event from the one the son loves but it's a good idea not to go yourself if you feel awkward about it all.

It sounds like a series of misunderstandings. You gave him the dates expecting him to get back to you and he didn't, probably because he had to make sure the box of whatever it is had space. Then you rejected the date you said you were free. On and on it goes. There was too much back and forth.

I would just go with the eight people (or let them go without you) now as you are in to deep to make more changes.

I think asking for double tickets is very cheeky and grabby, 1 extra maybe but to be honest I wouldn't do that

I think asking for 8 was very cheeky!

It’s cheeky to ask for double the tickets; regardless of what he said. I work with elite sports; everyone with access offers a seemingly endless pot of tickets, nobody ever asks for more than one or two additional. It’s a bravado thing.

Go, with the original four people, or turn it down and say you’re unable to make it. Note that it will be last minute, because spare tickets are allocated then, after they’ve been offered to VIPs/partners/federations etc.

Ignore the football tickets invite unless he actually offers you some with a set date; too. He likely won’t.

It’s just small talk for people with this access level. I’m accredited so don’t need tickets to most things; but it doesn’t stop people offering you everything under the sun. It’s an ego thing.

"‘I don’t hold unconfirmed dates"
I'm guessing you saying this has rubbed him the wrong way too.
You seem to have annoyed each other.
I personally would suggest your family go so you son can enjoy it but maybe not go yourself. I think it would be selfish to not let your son go when you say he's a huge fan because you are now feeling uncomfortable.

sounds like he is a bit pants but my son and hubby regularly go to football matches and VIP type tickets are often sorted shortly a few days before the match. It's likely his company offers the places to clients etc and he was checking he had space. I also think if the prize is 4 and you completely doubled it then maybe taking the mic a bit - yes he offered but he prob meant more like 5 or 6 - there is not a limitless places anywhere at any event there is always health & safety limits.