To complain about how I was treated

You might find that your mental health improves if you work. I have appalling mental health issues, currently seeing a psychiatrist after 3 years of ptsd, but have never stopped working-I think it’s what’s kept me going, along with my children.
No one should have spoken to you like they did, that’s never going to help anyone. I wish you well with your job hunt.

I would find out their complaints process and put in a factual complaint. I would also go to your doctor for help with your mental health.

Job centre staff are horrible. I’m diagnosed with autism and they told me I don’t look autistic because “you have a degree and you’re sitting here talking”. Apparently they know better than doctors do.

So when I said I can’t do x or y jobs they rolled their eyes and said oh yeah because your “autistic” (did the quotes with their fingers). Told me I just needed to try harder to overcome my autism.

I'm not sure what the backlash on this post is all about (you don't see it on other posts where it probably is warranted).

She sounded like she was being a total cow, OP.

My DD gets one of these down the Job Centre, too. My DD does have a job and has trained and worked bloody hard to set up her own business. She has to go in for UC (I don't know how these things work anymore) but the woman is still a right cowbag. Power just goes to some people's heads.

YANBU

What a nasty cow Op.
She needs to be sorted out to treat people like that is disgusting.
Can you change her to someone more human?
Take a support person.
I hate these sort of people who think they are able to treat you like this why because of your personal circumstances.
Excuses or life happens she should be able to work with you in a more sensitive manner.
I would have asked to see her supervisor or find out where you can complain!
What a Bitch.
BTW, write a formal complaint.
Excuses...I have Excuses for being unable to do work days sometimes, do they want to know anymore why..no not at all.
Another government pushy paper pushing unskilled cow who is paid by the government! She's no better than the rest of us.
I hate these sorts of people.
BTW let your doctor know if she lays it on you for support or something so she can not tamper with your income of need be I don't know over their in the UK.
Aren't these types of schemes to help? Encourage, support or some such crap I imagine. Pfft.

not a Tory but certainly drinking their koolaid.

Cost of living up, spending on benefits down.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/283954/benefit-expenditure-in-the-uk/#:~:text=Government%20expenditure%20on%20benefits%20in%20the%20UK%201948%2D2023&text=In%202022%2F23%20the%20UK,expenditure%20was%20234.2%20billion%20pounds.

As usual everyone is angry at the lowest in society when their anger should be directed higher up the food chain but as ever there’s no point talking to the daily mail eaters.

And many many people with anxiety and depression don't manage to stay at work. You could say the same about many illnesses and conditions - cancer, arthritis etc. These things affect different people more or less at different times.

If OP had a job at the moment, it's quite possible she'd be signed off, or taking annual leave to deal with her relative's terminal illness / housing problems.

OP hasn't said she doesn't want to work. But a sensible and efficient use of public funds here would be to support her mental health first.

TBH the number of issues DOES make it sound like excuses. Over-egging the cake.

OP may or may not have various issues that make life hard atm. But lots of people on mumsnet have had similar issues, or worse, and powered through. Lots of people I know have had awful times - particularly the last few years. We don’t all have the option not to work, as OP has had.

What the woman said was harsh. OP can complain if she wants to. It won’t change anything though - OP will still be unemployed and need to seek work and the woman will keep her job as there’s not enough people doing those roles.

Ignore the people replying to you who clearly haven’t the faintest idea of the toll poor mental health can take. They’re just making themselves look silly and aren’t worth engaging with- there’s a very unpleasant flavour of commenter on this site that seems to revel in kicking people when they’re down. Nothing more infuriating than being told to ‘suck it up’ or that you’re ‘making excuses’ when you can barely function.

Definitely complain, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Well done for managing to go in at all when you’re feeling so shit, and I’m sorry about your relative.

It’s attitudes like yours that are the reason why we have crumbling public services. Do you know how much of our taxes go on benefits? OP doesn’t want to go to work cause she is depressed and anxious. This just pisses in the face of all of those people who are depressed and anxious but who get up and go to work because it’s the right thing to do.

Not a Tory by the way. I loathe the Tories and everything they stand for. I just think that those who can work need to work. We can’t have an endlessly rising number of people on benefits. OP is capable of working. She May not want to work. She may not enjoy work, but she should work. I want my taxes spend on better public services, not endless people saying they are not capable of working due to an anxiety and depression.

Many people have anxiety and depression and work otherwise they’d be homeless and starve. Their relatives die, they don’t just quit their jobs?

I don’t think you liked what she was saying as she didn’t sugar coat it for you.

She was unkind and unfair, OP, and nothing in your posts suggests you deserved that.

People are reading all sorts of things into your post to make whatever points they feel like making. Please don't take it personally.

I would take away from this that you need help with your mental health for your own sake, not for this woman or for some of the hypercritical posters on this thread. You need that help because you are worth it, whether or not you have a job or make it to these appointments. You have a lot to deal with and you are taking care of others too.

Don't fall into the trap of taking that woman too seriously. Someone who behaves that way - unnecessarily loud, getting the information wrong and not apologising, showing disdain instead of empathy - has nothing useful to tell you about yourself.

Put the energy you have towards getting help and support. I'm not sure I would take on the emotional burden of complaining.

Hope things improve for you - please do whatever you can to get real support for yourself.

And that’s a reason to kick someone when they are clearly down? When did we become such a race to the bottom culture? What kind of values are you instilling in your kids with this attitude? Your username really does say it all. This place has gotten more disgusting recently.

Why should people be empathetic? Maybe because as humans we all should be? Rather than Tory robots.

The sanctimony on this thread is sickening. People are actually expecting the OP to “power through” poor mental health, a dying relative and the prospect of imminent eviction and possible homelessness. Dead easy, is that. The latter 2 won’t make poor mental health worse at all…

On top of that, she apparently should just put up with some self important bellend telling her off like a naughty child and accusing of her lying with no proof of that whatsoever presumably.

Why should we be empathetic? There are lots of people with lots of issues who go to work every day because that’s how bills are paid. The OP needs to join these people.

It dies sound like a series of excuses.

Christ the lack of empathy on here is astounding

My only experience of this is with a family member. Fortunately they were given a lot of support and understanding from the scheme so yes, I would complain. They were put through confidence and self esteem workshops before even looking at work. They did training for lots of different things which really helped and their designated worker was on hand to answer questions and give support.

You need to seek treatment you are responsible for that and yes endless reasons or however you want to word it is excuses

You can complain all you like but you need to fix it, I am sure the staff hear constant excuses every day

Mehmeh22 · Yesterday 22:56

I know the Restart programme with Ingeus (in Greater Manchester) and they are there to support you to find a job as you must have been referred by the Job Centre.

Work coaches are motivated by their £200 bonuses for every job seeker they get into employment, so people with MH issues are pushed to the extreme by their key workers.

• Job seekers being faced with a key worker who stands up, and yells abuse in confrontational and aggressive manner at them so if their MH was not bad before, it certainly would have been after I was told a large room full of people went silent and that This incident sent ripples of alarm through the whole room. This key worker was instantly dismissed and got another job with another provider where her prejudiced has continued.

• Job seekers whose hospital appointments are marked as absences.

• Sanctions being forced on job seekers who were not informed about the appointment so did not turn up, and lost weight due to not having enough money to buy food for some weeks whilst waiting for their next benefit payment.

Unfortunately, some suffer horrendously, it's the stuff of nightmares despite job seekers showing motivation and actively proving they are willing and seeking to work.

I know someone who has been through this so it's high time job seekers went to their appointments fully mic'd up the media would be buzzing if they knew what really goes on behind closed doors.

I think you need to change your way of thinking op. You need to get a job. Don’t feel victimised. It’s life. Working is the default. Working when you have kids under 3 is the default. Working 9-5 when you have kids under 3 is the default, it’s what most people do. It’s normal.

Take control. Decide what job you want to get and actively start looking. That’s the best way to get her off your back. And as someone who worked when having severe depression for many years, working in my tedious, dead end job saved me. It got me out of bed every morning, it made me get dressed and look respectable, it got me talking to people. Take control of your life. Show your daughter how to live properly and she’ll respect you for it later.

OP how about a job at a preschool? You have obviously been caring for your 3 year old, there are loads of jobs available with the governments childcare expansion and works well with caring for you child.

Many of us very sadly have ill relatives/children/spouses etc and still have to work.

If you had more financial security you could have more choices re landlord and also you would avoid the work program you're on with this person. Win win win!

Do you want to work or no? You say it’s a requirement, this doesn’t sound like a choice you’ve made because you want to but rather because you feel forced into it.