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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop sending gifts when none are acknowledged?

37 replies

Newbie2023 · 23/01/2024 18:32

I send my (mid-20s) godson b/day, Xmas, graduation, new job, etc gifts - cash inside cards, or items related to his hobbies/ /travels. I don’t hear back from him.

It is awkward as courier companies report they have delivered - but as the household are all out at work all day, I don’t know if the items have actually arrived. This means I need to contact my godson to check, but having to ask if he got a parcel makes me feel uncomfortable, like I’m fishing for thanks (although a quick text/thumbs up wouldn’t go amiss once in a while!).

Would it be unreasonable to stop sending gifts, given the lack of acknowledgment?

OP posts:
Sunflower8848 · 23/01/2024 18:39

My aunt use to send me gifts, £20 here and there, small gifts etc. it got to the point where she was retired and didn’t have much cash, I’m earning a decent salary and I just felt reeeeally awkward telling her “please stop sending me stuff” the only way I could give her the hint was stopping to acknowledge the gifts and hope to god she would stop sending them! Maybe your godson is trying to send you a message too.

Hipnotised · 23/01/2024 18:39

I wouldn't be phoning him, I'd assume if the delivery co says it's arrived then it has.

TheOriginalFrench · 23/01/2024 18:37

How bloody rude of him!

Are you in contact at all, otherwise? I mean, does he ever mention your gifts at all? Does he send you a greeting at Christmas?

Are you sure he still lives at that address?

I always think godparents should make an effort as long as they possibly can - but more than one unacknowledged present would lead to sharp words from me.

Mytholmroyd · 23/01/2024 18:37

strawberry2017 · 23/01/2024 18:33

Not at all. You're not obligated to buy him them and quite frankly it's incredibly rude not to say thank you.
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This! Now and again he might forget but if he never says thank you I would just stop now he is an adult. There is no excuse not to acknowledge the gifts and say thank you. Sounds like an entitled arse tbh

CharmedCult · 23/01/2024 18:36

Not even an acknowledgment?

Hell would freeze over before I sent the ungrateful brat anything ever again.

dastidlydaschel · 23/01/2024 18:36

He doesn't even send a thank you text? If he can't be arsed to take 15 seconds to send you a thank you text I certainly wouldn't be arsed about stopping sending gifts. He's a bloody adult!!

Passingthethyme · 23/01/2024 18:36

Why awkward. If I don't hear anything I always ask if it was received. And then once the kids are old enough if I don't get a thank you, the gifts stop!

HopelesslyWanderingStar · 23/01/2024 18:36

Definitely rude. If he can’t be bothered to say thank you I would stop sending anything. He’s unlikely to ask about it.

DNLove · 23/01/2024 18:36

No, just he's in his 20's, time to pull back. I have done same with my godchild. I was getting a thank you text but he's earning now and I've never gotten anything back. Not looking for anything big, maybe a bottle of wine, card when I had a baby, etc. I I know we don't give to get and if I'm at a family occasion with him I'll buy him a couple of drinks but not a big christmas or birthday present.

Lighrbulbmo · 23/01/2024 18:35

He’s rude and plenty old enough to j who she should say thanks.

Sloth66 · 23/01/2024 18:34

He can’t be bothered to thank you. I’d stop the gifts immediately

strawberry2017 · 23/01/2024 18:33

Not at all. You're not obligated to buy him them and quite frankly it's incredibly rude not to say thank you.
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