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Original poster

To take my child to a therapist

107 replies

gelatodipistacchio · 23/01/2024 13:03

She's 7 and lives with me most of the time. She spends Wednesdays and EOW with her father, whom I left due to emotional abuse.

She hates her father (she says this) and constantly tells me that he is mean to her. She refuses to explain in more detail. She is always upset before and after seeing him.

I took her to a child counselor before and she refused to engage. She is very intelligent and actively resists bringing any new adults into her fold.

Recently I have taken some recordings of us talking when she has started to go on about her dad.

Is it worthwhile trying to get her to a therapist? Or would a therapist talk to me and find these videos useful?

OP posts:
fulgrate · 23/01/2024 14:11

Why do you keep sending her there? Something really isn't right

Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 23/01/2024 14:06

@MariaVT65 she refuses to talk to teachers and the school wants to stay out of it as far as I can tell

@MagpiePi I have wondered this, but she becomes extremely distressed every time she has to go and when she comes back. She actually screams that she hates him, and whimpers and curls up in a ball. So it seems sincere? I try not to say anything bad about him, but he starts arguments and verbally attacks me when I have to interact with him and she obviously doesn't like this.

I would hope therapy would help her cope and that a therapist could find out exactly what he's doing. It may be that he's "just" very strict and emotionally unavailable

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 23/01/2024 13:59

What outcome are you expecting if she does go to a therapist ? That she will learn to deal with not liking her dad? Or that is somehow proof that the contact can be reduced?

She clearly knows that you don't like her dad and if she can't give concrete examples of his meanness, maybe she is trying to be loyal to you by saying she doesn't like him too?

MariaVT65 · 23/01/2024 13:58

Therapy is not the immediate answer here. The bigger issue is that you are still sending a small child to an abusive man.

Is there a trusted teacher she can talk to or someone else about how her dad is treating her?

Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 23/01/2024 13:55

I am also not surprised that she hates him, though I don't understand why he couldn't manage to be reasonably nice to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
gelatodipistacchio · 23/01/2024 13:53

@NoodleNuts I want to help her but I don't know how. Afaik, family courts don't care about light emotional abuse and I can't withhold contact.

OP posts:
NoodleNuts · 23/01/2024 13:45

I'm not sure why you think your chold needs a therapist just becasue she tells you she hates her father - plenty of kids don't like their parents for various reasons.

He was emotionally abusive to you and she is telling you that he is mean to her, she upset after every visit. I'm not surprised she hates him.