To take my child to a therapist

It's really not that hard not to comply with court orders (in this case there are NO orders in place yet anyway). Let him go to to court trying to enforce the orders. Just don't comply and that's it

@coldbrightmorning

There is no court order though. So OP would not be going against anything.

This.

There are so many naive women on this site who think that women can just keep their children away from arsey fathers by LTB or just not sending their kids to contact with them.

It’s a really, really hard long, expensive to actually stop a Father having contact with his children. Courts are very reluctant to this.

Does anyone remember that Judge who said it was a pleasure to return a young daughter to live with her Father. Who shortly after murdered her? Her grandparents had spent all their savings on trying to stop him having access as they believed him to be a danger to her.

You need a new solicitor, if you’re in the midlands at all there’s an amazing solicitor in Leicester.

Ultimately though you have to try and get her to talk. My dad said if I told anyone anything he would kill my mum in front of me. I’d already seen him do it and her be unconscious on the floor many times so I never said a word. It’s only when it went back to court and court welfare officer said he needs to be kept away from me urgently to the point that we moved hundreds of miles away that things changed.

At 7 she is old enough to have her thoughts taken into consideration.
if she genuinely doesn’t want to go then don’t make her. Let it go through court and show cafcass the recordings.

Probably a stupid question OP but I assume he's named on her birth certificate?

Don't send her, let him go to court, repeatedly ignore orders if granted, it will cist him time and money, by the time it ever gets to repercussions for you she will be old enough for courts to take her view into account.
I know far more DMs that use that tactic against non abusive fathers just because they view DC as 'theirs' than abusive. It seems to work well for them.
I'd be concerned, given your child's trauma, that it's not just emotional abuse. At present, you are also colluding in the abuse.

Art therapist? Play therapist? Music therapist?

Because the court makes her

Play therapy was very helpful for my child when she was struggling. Talking therapy requires a level of development that many young children don't have, and the play therapy sessions let the child lead the activities and express themselves in a variety of ways.

This is a perfect example of how the Family Courts collude with abusers to enable them to continue controlling their ex-partners by using the children

yep and the pp’s post above is a perfect example of this. “Parental alienation” 🙄🤬

This is ridiculous. What do you expect the therapist to do?

Your best bet is to see a solicitor to work out a legal plan for your child NOT to see her father who makes her unhappy

Quite what a therapist can do, is beyond me

Just don't comply with any contact orders

So what will happen if you just ignore all court orders and don't allow her contact, change your number and move address. No way would I send my daughter to be traumatised over and over again! Wtf

God I feel so much for you both. What a horrible situation you're in.
There are so many reasons she'll be scared to open up and they're not nice to think about. He may have made her promise not to tell, threatened her with things, and there is also the fact that because you are the one taking her to her father's, she may also feel that it is what you want for her, and so can't speak up to you. It's so heartbreaking.

Talking therapy is not going to help here as others have said. Play therapy might, but therapists aren't quite detectives and you can't go into it expecting them to get to the truth. It could be worth exploring tho, especially as she won't necessarily experience it as "therapy". It's playing games with someone she comes to trust, outside of the family, and who maybe can open up to... But it would be a very slow process.

This next part is outside my area of knowledge but I wonder if there is any kind of assessment that can be carried out which would definitively capture what you are observing is that time with her father is causing her emotional and psychological issues...? I'm sure others will know more than me.

Yep. My ex was abusive, left him during my pregnancy because of the abuse and he made threats to kill me and unborn baby and to set me on fire etc so I had to go to the police. I had back up from police and health visitors to not let him near me or baby when he was born.

Ex took me to court, failed drug testing and I had proof of his abuse. They made ME out to be a monster, HIM a victim and gave him everything he wanted.

It gets worse with the courts enabling in which, I asked for a third party to do handovers. ex said he only wanted to see me. So courts explicitly put in the order ‘NO THIRD PARTY ALLOWED’. So they enable abuse of both children and parents - regardless of evidence

the only way she is going to trust adults and you is if she feels they are there to protect here, right now no one especially you is doing that, you are still sending her to someone she is quite obviously terrified of. Once you stop doing this she will feel safer. Just because your ex is threatening court does not mean he will follow through, if he dose you be very clear about all the contact you have allowed and why you ceased. You keep everything documented, the contact and any abusive messages you receive, if he turns up in person you call the police, get records, keep records of text messages.

If she is being abused then he is probably threatening her with being taken away from you if she tells. If she sees you have stopped contact and your still with her, she might open up more.

@fulgrate oh I see. In that case I would try and limit contact but she has to be sure to explain why with evidence.

Sadly, I've been through the same road before. I tried everything (SS, police, school, therapist) unfortunately it was not enough! My ex presented very well in court and the system just does not recognise emotional abuse the way they should.

With that said, it did mean I ended up with slightly more custody at around 70%

Children go through phases of “hating” one or both parents, at various times. All seems pretty normal.

No she said there is no court order.

She chats a lot about the repercussions of a non existent court order

@fulgrate I thought she said there was an order in place?

I'm not naive to the court system at all. The facts as they stand are that there is no court order so any talk of court proceedings as a reason to keep sending a 7 year old to be abused is ridiculous/

Op has said there is no court order.