Dp made this comment about my lady parts - aibu?

You’re all a lot nicer than me. It smacks of body shaming and if you were together when you were teenagers I’d also think that he was thinking back to you as a teen girl and fantasising about your teenage body.

One of my labia definitely hangs lower than it did with age, so it can happen. Gravity and skin elasticity effects every part of the body.

I would be annoyed at his pointing it out too OP.
An ex did, but he isn't my ideal partner.

I don't know how I will feel at 60 or 69, but I think there's a place for tact. Pointing out your intimate partner's changed features, unsolicited and out of context, like the OP's partner did, does not really sound like the picture of love and good humour that you are painting. The examples I gave (greying hair, saggy bum) are not something I would really thank a lover for pointing out... YMMV.

This sort of comment would give me the ick. 🤮

Grim, childish comment. Dick.

Oh FFS, if you are 60 and 69 (as we are) it's fucking difficult not to notice that tits are no longer perky, balls droop and both arses are considerably lower to the ground than when we met. Pity our eyesight and wits are still sharp!

Should we be outraged that we can see each other growing older? Should we try to trade the other in for a younger model? Or should we just be happy that we can have that candid conversation, with lots of humour, and carry on loving each other?

Changes color too. The increased size during pregnancy doesn’t always go back to what it was as well.

The amount of women calling their vulva a vagina is quite concerning.

Exactly. It does drop with age, the same as everything else does.

Yes, every one is unique and some women have larger labia than other women. But our labia do not stay the same our whole lives either. You’d think that would be known on a forum of mothers.

Er, wouldn't you be? Who wants their husband to be counting their grey hairs or remarking on their saggier bum?

men just aren’t critical of our bodies the way we are

That may have been true once, @Devonshiregal. It certainly isn't now for a lot of men. The way some men talk about womeb's bodies is stomach-churning. They may focus on different aspects but the criticism is there.

Labia can enlarge during pregnancy and remain a bit bigger post partum.
They then can shrink during peri meno and meno itself.
They can change color too as we go through life.

Nah, I reckon he watches it alone 😁

Guys, outie labia isn't about ageing, some women have it and some don't. You'd think that would be known on a forum of women.

If he wasn't being malicious then there's no reason to be upset. He probably looks at your 'lady bits' a bit more and a lot more closely than you do!

Will you be annoyed when he mentions you're ageing in other areas?!

This is a very weird remark from him. Labia don’t change as we age, do they? Off to google it!!

Okay, Dr Google says labia might get smaller but not whatever he’s suggesting and not at 30! I suspect he was just looking at you from a different angle. Dick thing to say though.

Agree with a pp, I also found the "did I cause that?" to be creepy, disgusting and offensive.

I'd feel pretty upset and embarrassed by a comment comparing my genitalia to when I was a teenager as well, I don't blame you for being upset.

But beyond that, I don't know your husband and what he is usually like.

But yes, taken by itself, it was a horrible and wholly unnecessary thing to say.

Does he watch porn with teenagers with perfectly small and neat vaginas? 🙄

'Your cock used to be lovely and girthy when we got together, it's a shame it gets skinnier and your balls sag as you get older'

The male equivalent is their balls start to hang lower as they mature.

It was a thoughtless comment. No one likes to be told any part of them is less youthful. Hopefully he has apologised. The reason he has no filter is because he feels he can be safe to say his innermost thoughts around you.

I honestly don't think AIBU is the place for conversations about sensitive issues that have hurt you, @Wilterh93. You'll likely get told how you're overreacting x100. You could report your OP and ask MN to move it to Relationships.

And yes also do this

Ask if he needs help tucking his balls into his socks.

He’s a man and as such should have been taught by a father or someone similar to never comment on a woman’s body unless it is positive…and even then to pick his word carefully…BUT honestly, the whole thing could be dragging along the floor and he’d be excited to be allowed near it - it’s a vagina.

He will have been curious and not thought it was a negative comment because how can a vagina ever be wrong? Maybe take this as an opportunity to reframe how you think of your body - men just aren’t critical of our bodies the way we are, so honestly just show it off and enjoy it.