Dp made this comment about my lady parts - aibu?

I'm in my 30s, had pregnancies/vaginal births and my labia haven't changed. I swear I read that they shrink after the menopause? Not lengthen. Have never heard of that!

Am curious now...

He's going to get a right land when you get into your 50s and it goes all floppy!!!

@Wilterh93, how do his pecs / belly / bum / hairline now compare with when he was 21?

Drop in a comment gently. If he is offended maybe he will realise his mistake. If he laughs, laugh together.

Part of me would love to have the body I had at that age, but not if it meant having to go through that shit again....... 😂

Bloody hell, mn isn't a biology lesson no need for any snark

People talking about calling the vulva a vagina...I'm embarrassed to say I only really knew what a vulva was about a year or 2 ago. I'm in my mid 40s. I'm pretty savvy about sexual stuff I think, but for some reason that word was never in parlance.
They never ever taught the word at school, it was always vagina, and then the bits inside, in fact they barely mentioned the clitoris. And certainly didn't explain it's roughly the size of an aubergine.
Claire Rayner did a popular kids book about sex in the 70s and called the penis correctly a penis, but the vagina/ vulva a 'baby making hole'. 🤔

I guess it's actually a misguided demonstration of love and intimacy, feeling so safe and confident in his relationship with you that he can say anything.

Bollocks. Complacency and a nasty strain of immaturity more like it.

I'd also be annoyed. Tell him it's upset you and why, hopefully he can make you feel confident and positive about yourself again.

I wouldn't rely on him for that, @Mnk711.

Sounds like OP had already told him and he's dismissed her.

I’ve got the ick on your behalf 🤮

But it's so incorrect, and also shows lack of even very basic anatomical knowledge -heck, even in school such things are taught.

Would men call their penis a ''testicle?'' no, of course not.

OP is only 30 though! My labia grew during puberty but certainly didn't change after that due to sexual activity or reaching the great age of 30 ffs.

I always had large inner labia once puberty hit..
I still have large labia at 46, they haven't gotten larger or smaller..

I have had a lot of partners and sex. My labia aren't larger because I've had a lot of sex.

There are men who actually think it is, it's a gross theory.

You are not being oversensitive, he was rude.

There is an excellent Instagram as account called the Vulva Gallery. I highly recommend any one who is interested to read women's stories about their relationship with their vulva.

It's very very common for those of us with larger labia to have been shamed for it by partners or eve. thoughtless comments by society.

I remember a Celebrity was mocked while filming for her "roast beef sandwich."

Also of note next to breast implants labia plasty is one of the most common plastic surgeries for women.

No one in real life days vulva unless they’re teaching parts of the body or in a medical role. We know it’s a vulva but it’s just not used in informal language. Why can some mn users not grasp this?

i think the comment was thoughtless was intended as observational. It would make me feel self conscious but that’s because I’m hugely insecure about my appearance.

Do his pecs / belly / bum / willy / hairline look as good as they did when he was 21????

We age. Thank God. Truth be told I wouldn't say no to the body I had at 21, but I'm fucking glad I don't have to live through those years again!

I agree that you should make a similar comment to him so he understands how he has made you feel, immature maybe, but it sounds like he isn’t taking your hurt feelings and possible body anxiety now seriously. Don’t say it in a clearly tit-for-tat way as it will be meaningless and he’ll dismiss you again. This will get some negative comments I’m sure but wait a couple of weeks maybe then when he’s coming in/out the shower ask (in a genuinely puzzled way) if his bollocks have always been that low/saggy etc. Yes it’s immature, pre-meditated and all the rest of it but sometimes ppl need some basic lessons in empathy to understand what they have done wrong so they hopefully avoid repeating such hurtful behaviour going forward. With so much pressure on women to look a certain way in perpetuity thanks to false representation in the media and porn it’s not a surprise stuff like this is such a sensitive area for many.

Yes, does no one know the correct basic anatomical names now?

I think this nonsense started in America.

I'd be having a conversation about how mens balls age and how common erectile disfunction can be

But I'd have been more angry than hurt. Tell him that it upset ypu and see how he reacts

This is such a MN bingo comment. Always trotted out on threads like this.

Grown women can call their body parts whatever the hell they like! Technically correct or not!

I guess it's actually a misguided demonstration of love and intimacy, feeling so safe and confident in his relationship with you that he can say anything. I'd also be annoyed. Tell him it's upset you and why, hopefully he can make you feel confident and positive about yourself again.

I don't think it was a terrible comment tbh with you.

Tell him his balls used to hang normal but now they touch the back of his knees..demonstrate with a long sock filled with 2 snooker balls.

Demand five grand from him to have 'flap' reducing surgery in Turkey as your self esteem is now at rock bottom and you are unable to have sex with him until the matter is rectified.

Then have a lovely holiday in Turkey without him and come back and say that the surgeon cancelled your appointment so you boils t have it done.

Tell him to get over your upset and have sex with him again he will have to be nothing but flattering about your body parts.

Does it really matter what he thinks? After all, he's just guaranteed he won't be getting anywhere near them any time soon.

If you don't know anything about women's bodies, you shouldn't be having sex with them.

Your labia minora doesn't change from having sexual partners.

You could have been with 1000 people and it would make no difference.

Utter embarrassing ignorance.

He sounds very lacking and basic. Ick.

😂

Labia really change throughout life and men accept them as they are whereas their owners freak out and get self-conscious and embarrassed by them. I hated mine when when younger and wished they were shorter and neater, now I'm old and no one sees them any more, the bloody things have shrunk to the neat little size I always wished they were.