Dp made this comment about my lady parts - aibu?

Op I'd be upset too. It's not a compliment is it? So why say it. And the way he reacted to you expressing your hurt is quite telling of how much he respects you. Sorry he's acted like such a douche, has he been like this before?

Ever referred to his 'piss tube'. Give it a try.

Having sex literally does not contribute to the permanent size or shape of the labia whatsoever. The only effect it will have is potentially causing some temporary swelling. The size and shape is genetic in the same way a man’s penis size is. It’s possible it changes over time but it’s unlikely to change drastically without a cause, such as major trauma to that area like childbirth or an accident. It’s extremely unlikely to have a complete ‘innie’ labia that changes to a complete ‘outtie’ - that makes me think his comment is a bit backhanded and not based on 100% facts and he’s trying ti make you uncomfortable and self conscious on purpose. I would educate him on the fact that the labia doesn’t change size or shape from sex.

That was a nasty thing to say, designed to keep you in your place. And he’s supposed to love you? It’s not funny. Only a complete fuckwit thinks it’s ok to not only comment on someone’s body, but to laugh at it.

Well it's good that he wasn't being malicious but then why couldn't he just apologise?

He sounds nasty as well as stupid.

"Did I cause that?"😂😂

Indeed.
It’s possible that OP’s idiot partner never noticed before that she has slightly protruding labia minora, or hadn’t noticed how much they change when she’s aroused. Or he might just be a goady arsehole who finds it funny to make her think her vulva is ageing. Or he likes to think that his mighty penis has remodelled her genitals.

No; you didn’t cause that, your cock doesn’t get as hard as it used to.

Mine wouldn't even know they're called labia. He'd have called them piss flaps because he's vulgar 🙁

massive ick.

immaturity like that just switches my lady bits into permanently off limits mode

I didn’t say it was irrelevant, I said—

ah never mind…

OP - labias change. Hormones, children, I may be wrong about this but I think in some case arousal can affect some women’s labias. It’s all perfectly normal. If he was insulting you he needs to go in the bin. If he was commenting because he was curious or because he thinks his sexual prowess has had some huge effect then he’s just ignorant and lacking in education.

Having a larger labia isn’t ‘sagging’. It’s perfectly normal.

Also true.

Having a larger labia isn’t ‘sagging’. It’s perfectly normal.

I think he just sounds ignorant, like he doesn’t understand a woman’s body. It’s not uncommon, lots of women don’t really understand the technical bits of their body, as this thread shows.

😂😂😂

Vulva IS the catch-all term for all the external parts of female genitalia.

(Maybe not pubic hair, to be fair!)

This made me 😂😂.

I'd find that hurtful, to be honest.

Especially said in the context of an intimate moment when you're quite vulnerable in the first place.

And give over with "being too sensitive" nonsense! People are allowed to be sensitive. It's not some great crime that needs to be atoned for. I often find when a person responds to criticism of their insensitivity with claims that the person needs to grow up and/or stop being so sensitive as a major deflection from themselves and their own behaviour.

If I said something to my DP that hurt his feelings, even if that wasn't my intention, or even if I didn't think it was hurtful-I'd apologise because that's the right thing to do. I would try and diminish their feelings about what I said or put the blame onto them for feeling that way about it. That would be the equivalent of a "I'm sorry you feel that way," apology-meaningless.

Honestly-making a remark about that area in the first place just reeks of immaturity and would be a huge turn off for me. Not only that to think he is the reason for any alleged changes.

If only men's dicks were as big as their egos.

OP is 29 though - no-one is sagging anywhere at 29 surely?

He was just being factual. Bits sag over time. That's life! Who cares!?!

The correct response would have been "Have you had a good look at your balls recently???"

Remember the song??
#do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you toss them over your shoulder like a regimental soldier do your BALLS hang low...#

PP didn’t say anyone should be outraged or look for a younger model though?
Of course we notices changes, but unless it’s something to be concerned about, why mention them to your partner? Surely they notice their grey hairs themselves.

😄 love it

I remember looking at the galleries on the embarrassing bodies website years ago and couldn't believe how different they all looked 😄

Why say 'when you were a Virgin' rather than 'when you were x years old'. Sounds like he's negging you.

Of course it can change as you age. Just like the lips on your face, your boobs, and your butt etc. You lose volume, which then causes things to droop. If you naturally had less volume to start with, any difference will be less noticeable. It's all perfectly normal.