To not want my 9yo playing 18-rated games?

Your posts are so uncalled for, and add nothing to the conversation. Personal attacks go against talk guidelines. Imagine calling a child, who is upset and embarrassed that someone who should be trusted adult is shaming them, an idiot! I really hope these posts are the obvious goady trolling they appear to be and you aren’t so completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence to understand that others have different views to you. If these are legitimate comments, I really do despair at the state of humanity 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

Yanbu. And I say that as a gamer who has a game programmer DH. We let our kids play some games that have a higher age rating if we know the games and the content, but no chance I’d let them play 18+ games, especially not things like GTA. I saw DH playing GTA 5 a few years ago, and was shocked. It’s horrifying when younger teens are exposed to these as their parents don’t care - never mind a 9 year old. My son wouldn’t be going round again - partly due to the games, but even more so due to the idiotic shaming parent! What an utter knob she sounds!

It's not even about the specific game - any mum who makes snide comments about another parents decisions is just an idiot full stop.

Hi I have an 11 yr old who games - if the mum is like this I just wouldn't let your son go round there as she is a major safeguarding risk and also an idiot. (and im a very liberal parent in a lot of ways)

They’re not cool, they’re irresponsible, lazy or stupid. Ratings are there for very good reasons. Protect your 9 year old.

When I worked in a primary school a couple of years ago, a few of the y5/6 kids started bragging about the games they had and were allowed to play. The Head was concerned about the aggression they were displaying and in his weekly letter home, he stated that any kid talking about playing any games with a 15 or 18 rating would trigger a safeguarding concern, and he would inform social services. I have no idea whether he did, but the warning seemed to stop quite a lot of the poor behaviour.

YANBU. Age ratings are there for a reason. Next time your son mentions it’s embarrassing I’d tell him that the only person who should be embarrassed is the friend’s mum as she’s being a completely irresponsible parent.

Parent your child then and stop them going to the house where this takes place.

In the same way you would stop them if they were going to a drugs den, a brothel, out with a gang of thieves or to a pub, or engaging in any other age inappropriate activities.

GTA is not a game for children. The industry recognises some parents have difficulty establishing whether or not a particular video game is age appropriate for their child. So in the case of GTA they helpfully print a big red circle on the game box with 18 written in it.

The rating is established by industry experts, as well as psychologists and people who have significant experience in assessing the age appropriate rating of different media. They are more qualified to know what is age appropriate and what isn't than any "cool parents".

My 9 yr old (and his friends some of whom are 12/13) are on Fortnite, Roblox and Minecraft. Fortnite is bad enough imo but I can see how it's like cowboys and indians that I used to play as a kid.

Stick to your guns. Personally I'd phone the school and tell them that their child is exposed to these games. It's a safeguarding issue. Parents need a wake up call big time.

Don't let your ds go on unsupervised play dates with parents who don't respect your rules. I was allowed videos slightly before the age usually, eg I could watch a 15 when I was 13, but if I had a friend visiting who wasn't allowed my mum would never let us watch them she would respect the other parents rules

There's no "points" in GTA. Nor do you HAVE to do what you described and there's NO option to rape either. Do your research and don't just read whatever has been reported. It's a spoof of life but very over the top, but many adults who play know the difference between a game and reality. The whole reason the games are loved are because of how ridiculous they are. And they're definitely not a game a child should be playing.

(I'm a female gamer who doesn't take the games seriously, and no I don't have kids. Yet.)

Gaming choices aside (YANBU by the way), I'd not be happy with my child going to any house where the parent(s) undermine my parenting or my safeguarding choices in front of my children.

Adults who do the pick me dance with children and have poor boundaries are not safe adults I'd want my children around because they've shown their judgement can't be trusted.

It’s years since I’ve played it, but from memory the opening few minutes of GTA V have the player and his companion saying “n*gger” about a dozen times. I’m sure there are no occasions where white characters use it to slur black characters, but I think anyone sensible would realise that it’s not suitable for a nine-year-old.

I dunno. OP said they do buy the kids the games. That's gotta take at least five minutes worth of effort.

GTA - that’s the one where you get extra points if you rape a prostitute, then kill her and stral her money I think? Not sure why any parent would want to introduce yhat concept to a nine year old boy.

I wouldn’t allow my 9 yr old son back into the house where an adult had deliberately given him access to GTA and I’d been telling my ex-friend exactly what a shite parent they were.

Your friend isn’t ‘cool’ she’s lazy. The world is full of men who treat women like shit and she’s deliberately poisoning her son’s mind with misogyny. Yuck.

This

Nope, not a chance in hell would DS10 be playing GTA.

I'm a gamer and there's no way I'd be letting my kids near GTA. Nor would I play it with them in the room.

I suspect the other mum has no idea what's in the game, or they don't care and they're looking for validation by having someone else approve it too.

COD is violent, there's blood etc and most of the game is online with extremely misogynistic chat etc

At 9, Fortnite, Roblox and Minecraft should be their level of gaming. COD at 16 if they're mature enough and GTA at 18.

Send the mum some of the more obscene clips from GTA, I'm sure they'll quickly change their mind.

I wouldn't let him go there any more. If she wants to be a slovenly parent that's up to her, but you decide what your child is exposed to.

Or the torture scene in GTA V that you can't skip past & HAVE to engage with. Plenty of adults were upset about that one, even DH.

We're a gaming family & you're not being unreasonable. GTA is not suitable for a 9yo. COD isn't particularly either but not in the same way & probably ok if they are just doing multiplayer.

Had to speak to a mum about exactly this as she'd let her son buy Friday 13th about the same age as your DS, my son played it with him & some mates & it traumatised the SHIT out of him. Literally in tears that night. The mum had no idea that an 18 game could really be that bad cos she'd zero experience herself.