I’m leaving DH but kids don’t want to come with me

Get them kids now and get out tell them you're taking them out for the day . Iv lost 3 kids to my x he hasn't let me see them in 13 months my life's over believe me when I say this he's going to get a million times worse even if you can only take the one child just take that child . You want to go get an emergency court order tomorrow morning . If you have any proof what so ever of abuse then show the court and get them kids out now . X

Get legal advice. Get 50/50 contact. They will come around. Don't give up on them. They won't thank you for it when they're older.

Also call the police and get them to take you and the kids to a refuge.

Leave and the youngest with you.
At least there are records of his abuse and the police were called, that might help in getting custody

God, you poor love. 😢 Can you organise childcare if you’re the main earner? He’ll turn on them and parental alienation is surely illegal nowadays? If he’s abused you, he’ll start on the dc.

Your kids are too young to really remember this. I can't say enough. TAKE THEM ALL. It wont be easy, but you need to stay on top of their childcare. This means being ultra aware and ultra hypersensitive. You CAN do this. PLEASE. At 5 and 7 they wont remember too much. Leave it much longer they're resent you. At their ages you CAN turn this around, but you'll need to be hyper vigilant as to their care whilst you're at work. It's not easy, but you can do this. Don't leave them to a lazy parent. Please

Stop with the airbnb nonsense.
organise proper accommodation unless you are in danger.
if you are in danger get the police to remove him from the home and stay there.

They are 7 & 5 not 17 and 15

take them with you
Leaving them would be a huge mistake.

do not discuss the fact you are leaving.

dont ask them what they want.

once you have new accommodation put them in the car to “go to the supermarket” or whatever and get out of dodge.

take them with you…

You will be making a huge mistake taking the 1 year old to live in an air B&B. A judge will order the 1 year old to go home to their father. Get secure accommodation before doing anything. I did a similar thing and was ordered to send DS back home. I went back with him and we left again when I had a flat.
Go to court and quote parental alienation because that's what he is doing. He could be banned from seeing the children for that.
Don't do anything rash and don't hand over any power to him.
Get as much advice as possible before doing anything.

Take all of your children away from this vile man

@Honeybeebuzz has great ideas. They do not hate you!

Never leave them. Took me years after agreeing shared custody. Exh turned their heads... Your dc are being his best mates so he won't hit them. Can't you see that? Refuge tonight... Report every bit of abuse to the police.

I wouldn't leave them with him. get social services involved so they cannot stay with him. even if they are temporarily removed to foster care it's better than being left with an abusive man. if you leave them with him now you have lost any argument that they aren't safe in his care because of his abuse. stay a bit longer and seek proper help and advice from Women's aid, police, social services

DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR CHILDREN!!

This is will reflect poorly on you when you go to Court for contact. You need to plan things out for the benefit of your children. You have already placed them in harms way by remaining with him while he abused you in front of them. They are 7, 5 and 1 you need to remove them from this situation and take them with you
You need to;

1. Contact womens aid, ask them for a support worker/counselling now, be honest about the situation. They can support you to move out independently

1. Contact the police- you can report historical incidents of physical abuse, the more evidence the better

1. Contact your GP, report stressful homelife/abusive relationship and need counselling/support/medication

4.. Contact a solicitor - seek a residence order/ no contact order/ non molestation order against your ex. I dont know the specifics of your living situation but he needs to leave not you

1. Contact social services- advise them you need support in an abusive situation, your ex physically abuses you in front of them and you want to leave but need support. They may be able to help with an order being put in place. They will not remove your children if you are showing you are a protective parent and getting help from women's aid

At this stage your ex is an abuser and it doesn't matter if your children are saying they prefer him, it is not in their best interests to be left with him. You need to be a protective and proactive parent now

He is emotionally abusing your children. Assaulting their mother in front of them is emotional abuse.

At 5 and 7 they don’t get a choice.
Take all and let him fight it through the courts.

Once you get free you can ask the courts to stop his parental alienation and that is the first step to getting your older children back. You need legal advice ASAP

No way could I ever leave my children behind, no matter what the circumstances. Report the abuse to the police and keep your babies safe.

Take all your children, and rebuild closeness with the older two. They are still little, they live with an abusive man, please don’t leave them with him.

The children don’t hate you at 5 and 7 it’s impossible to hate you, they’re reacting to their dad’s behaviour. They’re scared of him. They’re young enough to escape and grow up safe and have a good relationship with you. If you leave them with him it will be much harder. Call women’s aid asap. Call the police. Do what you need to to get that man away from you and your kids

OP you need more assistance than MN can give you. Do you have anyone else you can call to help?

Your children would suffer greatly if you leave them with him. He sounds like a horrible human being !

Given they are kids and he is the primary caregiver, they will naturally want to side with him at that age as they do not know any better, which is so sad. Or they are simply responding from trauma. Even if he takes care of them properly (which I doubt), he is likely going to be abusive towards them (if he is not already doing so)

Do not leave your kids with him, even if it means lying to them as to where you are going to - a visit to grandma, a trip somewhere, anything. When you leave, you can then rebuild the relationship with your kids

Also get a recording of him being abusive towards you and play that for the police or for social services so that they could see that even if the kids may want to be there, they are just responding from trauma and he is not good for them
Please reach out to women’s aid right away !

I am sending loads of love to you ❤️❤️❤️

Take them all!

Please take the kids and go.

You don't leave your young children who have no way to protect themselves with someone you know is an abuser.
Do anything you need to to get them away from him. Show them he's wrong.

7 and 5 is too young for them to make a decision about which parent they want to be with. Take all 3 children and get legal advice ASAP. Ring Women's Aid too for advice. Don't give your ex any advance warning. My friend's ex-husband got a court order preventing her from removing the children from the family home. It was temporary but came as a huge shock 😔