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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be irritated that football fixtures aren't available in advance?

36 replies

JadziaD · 18/01/2024 12:22

DS joined a football team last season. He played a few matches but it was a bit ad hoc and I assumed its as because we were new. Now he's a fully committed member of the team.

But while matches are every Saturday, we do not get info on where or when until the week before. Sometimes even as late as Wednesday or Thursday. So we have to keep the ENTIRE Saturday open as we don't know if we're playing at home at 9am or away (up to 45 minutes travel) at 12:30.

Is it just our division/league? Or all teams? And am I the only one who finds it so annoying? We do other sports and activities and this simply isn't the case with any of them. Either we know in advance and/or for short notice activities, there's a total understanding that if you can't make it, so be it.

OP posts:
Crooklodge · 18/01/2024 13:59

We always get the full season fixtures, always know if home or away. Never the actual kick off time though, but it's always either 9, 930 or 10 at the latest as the coaches don't want to waste anyone's full day. League is completely voluntary so makes sense when they've already committed to at least two other training nights during the week.

Hillarious · 18/01/2024 13:45

We always had advanced notice of my two sons' football matches, but with one car and the possibility they were playing in two different locations on the same morning, I had to arrange on occasion for someone to take one of them to the other match. Perhaps you could do the same if you need to be elsewhere at the time of the match? I hated having to rely sometimes on others, but needs must, and I was always happy to help out others in return if they had similar issues. I'm sure other parents will help, and your son will acknowledge that you can't be there for every match.

JaninaDuszejko · 18/01/2024 13:31

We still have this and DD1 is 16. One time they turned up to a match and an adult male team were on the pitch and refused to move even though the girl's teams had booked it. Three hours out of the house and no game, DD's team coaches were furious. I just assume Saturday morning is a complete write off and DD and DH will be out.

JustMarriedBecca · 18/01/2024 13:14

Same here too. We find out at 8pm on a Thursday. It's SO frustrating when you have other commitments yourselves and other children.

But the leagues are run wholly by volunteers with full time jobs which we appreciate and are grateful for.

starfall1 · 18/01/2024 13:12

If your child plays in a league, you can find the information on the FA website - they usually publish fixtures a few months in advance:

fulltime.thefa.com

Original poster
JadziaD · 18/01/2024 12:53

@LittleLegsKeepGoing yes, it's definitely not at a competitive level. Perhaps I need to stop allowing the pressure of "you must play every match" to affect me. Because for me, that's the difference - if he plays at al lower level, and matches are more ad hoc, then I shouldn't feel like I have to be 100% available. And perhaps I'm putting that pressure on myself (him). To be fair, if children can't play, the coach is always nice about it. But the excuses are usually illness or injury not, "sorry, we're planning to get some shopping done and actually, we can't do it after 11:30...." Grin

OP posts:
LittleLegsKeepGoing · 18/01/2024 12:45

It frustrates me endlessly too...but in my experience this sort of organised chaos is largely for the non-league junior football. So each match is important to the kids but there aren't divisions based on ability or league tables/points.

Once my daughter entered the competitive leagues in yr7 all of the fixtures were published at the start of the season so you knew whether you were home or away. There was also a requirement that any games played outside of the ordinary 2 hour window (to give clubs some flexibility on kick off time but still allow for reasonable planning) that advance permission was obtained from the league and both teams had to agree to it. Don't get me wrong, some matches still changed at fairly short notice, but overall it was much easier to plan.

However, the competitive league brings up a whole different host of issues to replace the ad hoc scheduling!

Original poster
JadziaD · 18/01/2024 12:33

I guess it makes sense how it happens. But it's astonishing annoying nonetheless. Some of the other families on his team treat football matches like a whole family day out, so perhaps for them it's fine. But for us it's a pain. DH sometimes is asked to work extra shifts on a Saturday but if he says yes, it's a total lottery if I'm going to be able to manage football AND DD's activities. DS was stressed about accepting an invite to a friend's party a few weeks ago as the party started at 14:00 and for a late, away match, he wouldn't be back in time. I had to ask the mum if I could confirm the week before.

It just drives me mad because while I get why it happens, I think other sports either plan it better OR put less pressure on the players to absolutely make it to every single game.

OP posts:
MalewhoisLaffinalltheway · 18/01/2024 12:29

I used to coach a youth side. We used to get about 3 months fixtures in advance, but rarely did it stick to the fixture list, Cup games, cancellations due to school trips, County/District match clashes were just some of the reasons. Once it starts it has a snowball effect. We could be 90% sure of next weeks match, but they really are subject to change in an instant by the league organisers.

GenXisthebest · 18/01/2024 12:28

Yes I find this with football too - although we do know whether it's home or away, just not the time.

Whereas my DD's netball fixtures are published for the whole season, times and dates. I don't know why football can't do this!

PuttingDownRoots · 18/01/2024 12:26

How old?
My DD plays Rugby and we sometimes have the same thing with timings (but location known) ad they have to balance all the ae groups. Shes U11 so they are often first. But in someplace they have Mini training before matches... Plus sometimes its 3 teams coming together so there's 3 matches to play.

Its Ll volunteer run and the coaches do their best.