To think my colleagues are being inconsiderate?

They might talk about it at work.
If not they are not unkind, they are not close to your Grandpa and are busy working.
Could you have taken DD to work? That would test the workplace tolerance. haha

I think if your dad was sick I'd ask, but I'd be hearing your childcare fell through as opposed to hearing your granddad. But even if it was your Dad or dd who was sick, I wouldn't get in touch whilst you weren't in work.

It’s not usual that your colleagues would be invested in your grandfather. Just by way of you being an adult and having a grandparent, it’s more likely than not that they are quite elderly and possibly infirm. That would probably be a base assumption with your colleagues, what would be gained from them delving into it when your grandparent has nothing to do with them? They are just checking that someone who they assume is elderly and infirm is indeed elderly and infirm? In general, no one’s going to do that.

Everyone has their own problems. It's not that they're callous or unsympathetic, it's that they haven't had time to dwell on it because they've got other stuff on their minds, and now presumably more work to cover your absence.

A friend of mine's grandma had a fall recently, I found out via a third person, and it was several days before I messaged to ask how she was. This is a friend not a work colleague, and I actually know her grandma, and I really do care.

Right now I've got a lot on my plate with work, kids (one off school sick right now) and my own elderly parents having increasing numbers of medical issues which is frankly really scaring me with the prospect of losing them.

I care about my friend, I care about her grandma, I'm just spread too thin and some things slip through the net.

Thank your colleagues for covering your work and let them know you'll do the same for them in future. They are human, if they're nice they'll be understanding, but they've got their own problems and just don't have the capacity to think too much about yours.

Most people don’t have “back up
childcare”. Judgemental statement.

We both work full time, and have no relatives nearby, and all our friends work
too.

They’re probably miffed at having to cover your workload if anything.

How would they know? Presumably you’ve told your manager, but if someone told me, I’d just tell the team you weren’t going to be in, I wouldn’t divulge why.

Most colleagues don’t care WHY you’re off anyway, they just immediately switch to who is going to pick up your work

The reason you weren’t at work is that your childcare fell through. If your grandfather is old and unwell, and your dad is likely to be less available for childcare as a result, you need a reliable backup.

Echoing others, they don't care about your grandad. You are colleagues, not family members or lifelong friends. I'm sure they wish you well, but they probably haven't given the news a second thought. Unless they were unkind, they've obviously covered your shift and are getting on with it. When you return they will probably ask how you are. I'm sorry to hear your news and I hope you are doing OK. Concentrate on your family and don't think about work for now.

You are the one who inconvenienced everybody else and yet you are asking if you should stop making an effort. 😂

So your only beef with them is that they didn't ask how your grandad was?

If so then yabu.

You are being pathetic in answer to your question
You need to ensure you have back-up childcare because you having to take unplanned days off, thereby adding to colleagues workload, will not endear you to them

They might be trying to be kind, assuming you would talk about it if you wanted to. I wouldn't assume someone wanted to discuss that if they didn't bring it up.

Also if people ask it's usually at work after you return.

Unless you all are good friends outside of work

I would ask about your grandad - if I’d been told - which is unlikely as my line manager wouldn’t share the reason people were off.

Selfishly I wouldn’t be happy about covering your work.

I work with just females, who give the impression they are kind but not one of them asked how my grandad is, I just got the impression they didn’t give a fuck.

I’m not trying to be rude but the simple fact is that they don’t give a fuck. Why would they? They don’t know your grandad.
Similar to the way you don’t give a fuck about the impact your absence may have had on their lives.

I would ask how a colleague’s grandparent was. However, I’d also not be too concerned if they didn’t ask back and assume they were caught up in work stuff and had forgotten. I can understand you’re feeling a bit sensitive though, OP, always sad when a family member isn’t well.

Did you like send out all company email or something? LM don't usually go around and say why someone couldn't make it in if it's private...

Yabu even if they know.

I wouldn't care about a colleagues grandad either.

How would they all know for a start? It would be very unprofessional for manager to tell everyone why you weren’t in.

I probably wouldn't even remember the reason you couldn't make it in, unless you were really unwell, so wouldn't ask either.

I do hope your grandad is doing better though.

I presume you remember everything that happens to them in their life?

No way do I expect this of others

Your anger and frustration is misplaced.
Where's your daughter's dad in all this?

Being difficult with you because you had a one off childcare issue would be unreasonable.

Not asking about your grandad is absolutely not unreasonable.

I'm always sympathetic to a point until it then starts affecting my own workload / stress / impacting on my home life - it's a bit childish really to react like this over one episode where they likely didn't know the full details.