Man on school run

Ah there was a childminder that did this to me at the DCs school. In the end I made a point it looking very obviously in the other direction when I saw her and no eye contact at all . I then caught her doing it to someone else. You’ve got to wonder what goes on in these peoples heads.

You situation is worse though because he’s a man. I’m wondering if you could take a photo/video of him doing this and maybe speak to the headteacher. He shouldn’t be intimidating other parents.

Did you do something like buy a house he wanted? Is it a race thing?

When people do things like this my mother always asks them ‘can I help you?’ in a loud voice. She’s small but formidable. If they are a wrong’un it scares them off, if they are staring for a legitimate reason they usually apologise and explain.

I'd say what the fuck are you looking at 🤣 but I'm quite rough

Put very dark sunglasses on as soon as you park. Genuine suggestion. It will stop the eye contact.

Once I'd have felt intimidated by this but now I'm old I give fewer fucks and would say something. Big smile and "Hello, do I know you?" Head tilt. Hopefully he'll say No, and next time you can smile at him and he'll look away. I wonder if he'd give you the evils if you were with a friend? Maybe try that first and see if he either ignores you or stares at you both.

I'd report it before something serious happens and everyone's comments should be that regardless how your dressed parked ect its not necessary for someone to do this to another person. All these mothers that have had this hasnt ended well from what I've seen on the news and I dont want to scare you more but I feel for you and want the best outcome of it. The school won't get involved but I'm sure the police will do if its been going on that long and with the bad things that could happen if he's watching you would be best to safe guard yourself

I noticed a man staring at me at the tram stop the other day. I did not get good vibes from the look. He then sat down on a bench at the stop and said something to me, but too quietly for me to hear. I bent towards him and asked him to repeat it. He said "Sit on my lap" and patted his knees. I put on my teacher voice and told him that no, I would not. He jumped up and ran off. Seemed to perhaps have a learning disability.

I wouldn't ignore my gut instinct. All these people saying OP is imagining it ... what if you're wrong?
OP, could you ask a friend to walk behind you/with you and check this man out/see if he looks at you differently when you are not alone?

I would definitely report it to the school or to the police this will safe guard you being able to go do the school run peacefully.
They should be able to give you advise on what to do but he sounds very dodgy and needs being spoken to because it's making you feel this way and it's intimidation.

OK a mum at pick up wears a dry robe.. is this a thing?? She isn't wet..

Still doesn't explain why his eyes are on OP whenever she sees him, even from her car.

Even if he had a resting smiley face, doing that would be weird.

Yep I have resting bitch face.. it's a struggle 😬

To all the posters saying "so what, it's just staring, you're probably imagining it, there's nothing really wrong with it" - these days, in some contexts staring is considered harassment. There's a police awareness campaign about staring on the tube for example:

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-61263393

This guy seems to be going for intimidation rather than sexual harassment.

I have a similar scenario going on, and I'm also wondering how to deal with it...I think the guy doing it in my case is possibly quite unwell though so I'm not going to confront him. Op may feel differently about a parent at the school gate however.

I would say "Good morning!" in the breeziest tone possible with a big, cheery old smile. See how he responds. If he doesn't return a spoken greeting (rather than just a smile) then something's up and you can deploy some of the other advice on offer. Maybe he's just socially inept however.
At least by doing this you'll definitely know how to proceed rather than stressing about it.

My first thought was that you sit with your engine running near the school. It's incredibly annoying and rude and it's the only possible thing I can think of that would warrant the cold hard stare he's giving you.

Sometimes socioecon status can play a part - are you visibly affluent. drive a high status car, belong to a visibly different socioeconomic group to him? Sometimes pple show hostility to others with more or less than them & stereotype them into the "oppressor" eg "being stuck up" "them & us" mentality or if the person has less, are "lowering the tone", the "wrong crowd". Scapegoating & acting territorial because of his own (possible) prejudices are not your problem & you're not doing anything "wrong".
People are weird & unfathomable at times.

Try not to take it personally (which is hard when you've done nothing to warrant the hostility).

I'd sound others out if possible (discretely) about him to be safe & try to ignore him.

He may be socially awkward, just have glary eyes or be mistaking you for somebody else who has done him some perceived wrong, hence the hostility.

Could you get another person to witness the look he gives you if possible (ie a passenger in your car or in back seat?) Hopefully it's a case of mistaken identity but having another person - sadly possible another male may throw off this person's weird territorial/hostile behaviour towards you.

I disagree with most posters. Typically instincts are spot on with stuff like this. It’s making you uncomfortable for a reason.

not sure what I’d do about it to be honest. I wouldn’t be talking to him when I was alone though. Perhaps there is someone you can take with you on the school run sometimes? Do you have any school run friends / acquaintances you can ask to observe?

I'd be tempted just to simply say "Good Morning" with a smile every time he does it.

Personally, as I'm not backward in going forward, I would probably go up to him ask him "how are you today? Here we are again same same very day' kind of conversation starter or I would just just ask him straight out wtf his issue is.

Welcome2thecircus
You may be surprised that you have been " reported" and are now " flagged up " on different lists.

Haha just saw someone said the same. I'd put money on it, that's his face.

Any chance it's just his face? I naturally have rb face and as a kid people would often bring it up. It was nothing personal. That's just my face. 😂

Yes to short sighted too, I'd also get 'oh you ignored me' .. No. I'm just blind.

Personally I'd ignore it but tbh I probably wouldn't see him anyway 😂

😂😂love this

Not sure if confronting him is safe but something needs to be done. It's a form of harassment surely?

Confronting him should be an absolutely last resort. You clearly feel vulnerable, so if you insist on doing so, drive up to where he is parked but remain in your LOCKED car whilst you politely greet him etc. You'll feel safer and more confident that way.