Man on school run

Nothing. And it would sound a bit weird. I can imagine the head saying to her colleagues ‘ A parent has just complained to me that a man outside is staring at her! What the hell does she think I can do…?’

I think listen to your gut on it. There could be an innocent explanation, or this guy could be a weirdo and it could escalate. I'd suggest taking someone else with you like a friend and confronting him in a low key way - eg "Morning. Can I just ask, is everything OK?" Elaborate if you need to - "it's just I've noticed you looking quite disgruntled a few times and I just wondered if I'd done something to offend/upset you" - if he reacts aggressively, he'll probably let you know his problem and you'll have back up with you. Or he might just be mortified and apologise and hopefully you can laugh it off. But hopefully it will flush it out either way.

Sorry I'm a prat I misread your post 😩

Yea fwiw I think its pretty easy to suss out someone's staring without 'staring' back.

And I can see that staring can constitute harassment but I think that would rely on a lot more context than "man stares for 10 mins on a school run", on a tube I think it would be different as it's enclosed space, closer to the person, can't avoid it or escape it etc.

I’ve no real issue with ‘ignore it’ as a response. Fine. It’s the ‘the OP must be staring in order to know it’s happening’ or ‘the OP must be doing something wrong’ posts I was complaining about.

What do people think the school would do? Genuine question.

Heads always seem to say if it is off school premises there is nothing they can do. This happened even when my child was physically assaulted within sight of the school gate by other pupils. I can't imagine a man looking at a woman in broad daylight in a crowded area is going to get the Head involved.

Speak to the head teacher. It is intimidation and bullying and shouldn't be happening at the school gates. The head teacher will talk to the parent and find out what is going on. And then you can take it from there.

Do you drive a boy racers type of car? maybe he has a thing about women drivers.

Been stared at for no reason many a time. Sometimes by the same person. Ignoring it worked pretty well.

You have a gut feeling for a reason, listen to it. Can you park on the opposite side of the school to where you park now ? Just keep your wits about you. There is not much else you can do.

Totally agree. Can’t believe the number of posters who’ve trotted out this ‘how do you know you’re being stared at without staring yourself’ rubbish. The usual faux-confused, empathy-bypass AIBU crap I suppose. It’s as if some people have never had the experience of being stared at, which I would have thought was pretty universal.

I would see how he interacts with other people…if he’s the same with everyone else then you’ll know he’s not singling you out.
if he’s happy and smiley with other people and is just being weird with you-you could just stay as far away as possible or smile and say “good morning, just wondering if I know you from somewhere?” Get a sense of his tone etc.

there is a chap I see walking his dog most days and I smile and say good morning but he looks daggers at me and my husband. I recently learned that he has a cognitive impairment.

Love this one😂. You’ve watched too many romcoms!

He could be ND or have sight issues. Perhaps getting to know him is the best option here?

No- you know people are looking at you even when you aren’t directly looking at them.. and if someone was glaring at you in a weird way everyday I’m sure you would feel on edge too. Unfair to make out she’s being weird by finding it weird.

I'd have to say something 'is everything ok?'

"Are you ok??", "can I help you?" I'd ask one of these.

Be forthright - it's not a 'you' thing like others have said when you're sitting in your car and he's looking through your windscreen at you.

Turn up in a policeman's uniform 🤣. They're are some dodgy people about so it's easy to say ignore or talk to them but you've got to be careful too.

I think either try talking to him or carry on ignoring it.

Yeah but I ALWAYS feel someone is following me when walking home late at night, one day it might well be true but I don't think it's been true the last few thousand times

If you're getting the... gut squirmies off him he's probably a sociopath. They like to do angry intimidating stares at people. And to get in your space.

You usually feel 'threat'. By the way they look at you. Like you know a predator is sizing you up. Because they are.

I'd give them a 'WHAT?' kind of look. Don't show any kind of fear or intimidation. Do not engage with them. Do not run away. Treat them like you would any predators sizing you up - puff yourself up, show that you've noticed them, act like you know they are not a threat to you.

Can you not just walk around a corner?

OP, I understand how unsettling this must make you feel!

I had a very similar incident happen to me, only it was a woman who would stare at me in this intimidating way. You would have sworn that I had murdered her loved one. Chilling. She did it again at another time and I point blank asked her WTF her problem was. She never answered and she she never did it again!

SerafinasGoose (or should that be SerafinasCanadaGoose? 😉) - a sensible and balanced response at last!

It makes no difference if it's a resting bitch face or not, it doesn't matter whether he's doing it to other people or not, if he is holding eye contact directly at you for more than a few seconds then he is staring, he might not be aware that he does it, call him out on it anyway, be direct. "Why are you staring at me"
Maybe you'll get a reason, maybe you'll get a sorry, either way it will probably be the end of it

I've scared off two burglars by asking if I could help them 😂 "Do the unexpected" is often great advice!