Man on school run

Ask him for the time and see how he reacts

Greycottage · Today 13:40

^Ps sorry to see so much victim-blaming on the thread. Sigh…
Oh come on, this is the wrong use of the phrase victim-blaming. You water down the significance and meaning by using it in silly ways. Victim of what? Being looked at?^

Being stared at and being looked at are two different things. Being stared at is intimidating and disturbing and starers know that perfectly well.

Oh come on, this is the wrong use of the phrase victim-blaming. You water down the significance and meaning by using it in silly ways. Victim of what? Being looked at?

It’s a curious scenario, people are just making suggestions. It’s far more likely the man is a fellow school parent who thinks OP has done something inconsiderate (possibly as a case of mistaken identity) than it is that he is just a random scary/violent/evil man trying to intimidate her through a campaign of frowning.

I feel bad for his kids! (Assuming he’s on the school run because he has them!)

Leyenda · Today 13:29

I’d assume he’s a bit psycho and definitely not interact with him in any way or make any kind of eye contact with him. Definitely do not smile at him. You don’t want to interact with whatever delusion/ fantasy world he’s running.

Maybe not, but it certainly seems like a strong possibility; why risk winding him up, so that he can pretend that he's justified in reacting nastily?

I agree with the PPs who said to ask around a bit, he may be entirely harmless and just have a disturbing face. Or he could be a known nutter.

Just stare right back until they look away. That's what I do 😶

Some of these replies tho with bizarre excuses.....🤣

Maybe, the guy has an unfortunate face, or maybe he does like to dish out dirty looks for whatever reason, thats not a crime or even noteworthy on its own. So best course of action here is surely to just ignore??

I don't think "op is intimidated by this so best idea is to march up to him and ask him what his issue is" will help so much with the feeling intimidated?

I would be doing exactly the same back to him tbh and then continue on living my best life. What an oddball!

Not read many PP but why don't you just catch your elbow on the horn for a loud toot just when he's nearest - to give him a fright? And see what he does next time?

Only explanation I can think of is you mount the pavement to park your car every day (bonus points it’s a massive SUV). I expect you have accidentally pulled up while he & his child are walking past before. This has happened to me too many times to count on the school run, and I would glare (or say to my child “look xyz, this silly person is trying to knock us down with their car. They must have forgotten what a pavement is” etc).

Could be a case of mistaken identity, especially if you drive a popular car. But if he’s looking at your car and how you are parked, I assume it’s that.

Unless he is just a weirdo.

I'd have to ask. Stare back at him, unblinking, and ask him if there's a problem. Sometimes you need to confront the issue head on... Or just keep staring back and out-crazy the crazy.

Ps sorry to see so much victim-blaming on the thread. Sigh…

Oh stoppit 🤣🤣

I’d assume he’s a bit psycho and definitely not interact with him in any way or make any kind of eye contact with him. Definitely do not smile at him. You don’t want to interact with whatever delusion/ fantasy world he’s running.

Even if he’s somehow annoyed with you / thinks you’re someone else, a man constantly glaring at a woman is harassing intimidating behaviour and not psychologically normal.

Avoid!!

I’d love to say report him but I can’t think of anyone who’d do anything much. If you know his name or his child you could maybe make the school or even the police aware, in case they’re comfortable telling him that there have been complaints about him harassing women and to watch himself. But with both school/police there’s a risk that they’ll tell him who complained.

Schools can ban parents from site, ours has a couple of banned parents who have to wait outside for their children to be brought out. But that was for screaming at staff not harassing other parents.

Sorry this is happening. I bet he’s done it to other women too. 😔

if you are intimidated by someone looking at you I think you need to ask yourself why and work on this.

he is not doing anything illegal just existing in the same world as you. He could be saying the same about you, that woman on the school run who always stares at him.

Perhaps he lives near you, walks his child to school everyday and wonders why you drive/don't offer him a lift?

Stare back and politely say, "is everything ok?"

You really have no idea if that's the case or not because you cannot know it.

Too true, I wouldn't want to go and ask him if he might have a genuine gripe, or even an imagined gripe, against me in case it triggered him to punch me on the nose or something.

My DD was badly bullied at primary school. She came home for a visit after uni, so over 10 years later, and one of the bullies recognised her in a local pub, rushed up and threw her arms round her and said we were at school together. DD peeled her arms off her and walked away without speaking. I don't know if the bully had forgotten what she did or she just saw a face she recognised and assumed they had been friends of some sort. I do hope she was mortified to be left standing their like an idiot.

my dh has a horrible stare ive caught him doing it in public a few times i have to whisper stop staring i mean if looks could kill

says he doesnt know hes doing it

😂😂😂Scare her into ripping his keks off 😂

I'm with @SerafinasGoose on this. It's really bad to dismiss someone's danger instinct as ridiculous or blame her for the other person's behaviour.

It's probably nothing, could be something minor, unlikely to be something bad. But it's really happening to OP and her concern deserves respect. Unlikely things do happen. If there's some misunderstanding, maybe it could be cleared up.

I'd be inclined to say something harmless - I quite liked a PP's "Are you okay?" although I think I'd go for "Excuse me, have we met before?"

You all need to read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear. https://amzn.to/4aS2vgB

Maybe he thinks it is his smouldering sexy face. People often get this very wrong. He thinks it is working because he can see you have noticed him

Just say morning or wave everytime he does it!