Man on school run

Did we ever find out what happened with this?

Ok, thanks for clarifying. Just to be clear, I’m not putting the op down; I was suggesting you shared irrelevant information to twist the thread.

i can’t believe this is still going on as a thread, so let’s just leave it there.

Yes, I wrote all that in my post. About how staring can be harassment, that there's anti-sexual harassment messaging about staring on the tube, and how in op's case it's not sexual, but staring for intimidation instead.

I think other people on the thread understand what I meant, especially now I've repeated it two more times in response to your misinterpretation.

The article you shared is entirely about staring as a form of sexual harassment & the examples in it do not mirror what the op has said about the school dad.

im not putting the op down, I think that you are adding layers to the situation that will cause everyone in it undue stress.

Yes that's why I said it doesn't seem to be sexual harassment, more like intimidation, trying to make op feel uncomfortable. Guys like that sometimes have children who they pick up from school.

Op feels harassed so no need to put anyone down saying it's not ACTUALLY real.

@Frisps you ok hun? What happened?

Change my routine

Shout morning in a really sarcastic way and put on a huge smile...or stick on sunglasses and ignore him.

Personally, I think asking him if "there's a reason he's drawing you daggers" could lead to it turning nasty; you've started the conversation in a defensive way which will most likely invoke him as he may take it as you being aggressive.

I would address it; I'd say something like "Hi, how are you? Are you okay?" In a friendly tone? If he asks why then bring up the looks, if he responds normally, talk to him & when you can gage his personality then ask him if he's friendly.

I say this as someone who's prone to switching on people if I can pick up an aggressive tone from the offset. Joys of ADHD 🥴

But from what she’s said he just sounds like a guy waiting to kick up his kid from school. No sexual harassment angle that I can see. The idea that this constitutes harassment marginalises the experiences of people who are ACTUALLY being harassed.

Op, he’s regularly picking his kid up from school which in itself probably makes him stand out. You can safely approach him at the school gates with all the other parents around.

Don't ask him why he’s staring at you, say hi & ask if your kids know each other, then say hi to his kid when they come out of school. If after doing this you feel that there is actually an underlying issue then speak to the school.

teachers have enough to do without needing to investigate whether or not another parent has looked at you the wrong way. Their time should be spent caring for & supporting our kids; not their parents.

Kindly meant advice, I’m sure, but she should not risk it.

Whatsinanumber: You really think that woman didn't have something against you, don't believe everything you hear.... Some women are snakes and will say anything, as not to make them look bad, but believe there is something more than meets the eye.

I have this same issue with a man in the next street to me. Years ago one day as I was walking home toward him I suddenly noticed he was looking at me like he wanted to kill me. No idea who he is or what his problem is but he's done it for years and I just pretend I haven't even noticed him now as it's got boring. If he hasn't had the balls to get it off his chest (whatever it is) by now, then he's never going to. If his wife is reading this, your old man is a sad fat old bastard. I can't imagine how many bottles of wine it must take before you let him clamber on top of you with his gross flabby gut, he gets fatter every time I see him and he might benefit from getting a job or a hobby.

I know it might be scary but don't give him the satisfaction by looking, he probably has women staring at him because they can't help themselves. know how that feels but I'm female.

Some women seem to think if a man looks or smiles in there direction, they fancy them. I was told this by a man i went to school with.

Call him out, but he may just have a resting arsehole face

It's the year 2678...

Maybe be it's just a the way he looks!? I look like a grumpy cow when I'm in my own world and often just stare because I've switched off. People probably think the same about me!

Probably bored to tears with reading the many ignorant responses that assume she must be paranoid, or staring at him in order to know he's staring at her, or has left her motor idling, or must have offended him in some way. Rinse and repeat ad nauseam.

I know I would be.

Where on earth is OP?

Trust your gut instinct as others have said. Try and walk with another parent and alert them to it. Staying aware is sensible- lots of very naive people wander around not noticing things at all.

Kill him with kindness. Next time he does it, muster up a huge smile & greet him with a cheerful hello, like you've known him forever.

Well local schools in my small town wouldn't do it but they also wouldn't tell you what they'd done about it, that is unusual in most situations due to privacy. Even if you report something that happens in school they will say they will deal with it but they don't report back to you on things like they've called the parents in.

Your town doesn't sound that small with 4 secondary schools.

Sorry my experience has been completely different with schools - state schools. I've reported children on the way home for bullying (one known child and one identified by social media) and once, in school uniform, setting a small fire at the end of our road (more stupidity than arson). Both schools responded appropriately and called in the pupils and their parents. Maybe it's just living in a smallish town. But we have 4 Secondary Schools in very close proximity and a whole bunch of Junior Schools and all the schools are very involved with the community. I can't believe "all other schools and head teachers" would ignore the situation. If there is a conflict issue with parents at the school gate, I really believe most schools would try to resolve it to avoid it escalating.

It is probably someone that knew you or a family member at school or in the area. I would ask him he might think you remember him and are being weird it can easily happen. I had this with a woman in the supermarket years ago turned out she was in my year in primary and high school. She was staring at me wondering where she knew me from and I did the same I did not recognise her she had changed so much.

No worries 😀