People ending their lives?

I just want to say that I am NOT in favour of elective euthanasia, or whatever euphemistic name we might choose for government-approved suicide. A couple of people have mentioned it already, otherwise I'd have kept it for a different thread.

There are edge cases, and they should be carefully considered case by case. UK law is gradually becoming more flexible in such cases. I never want to see "approval" enacted here, no matter how stringent the conditions. Any law that permits killing others will be abused.

The scope for abuse by both individuals' relatives and authorities is frightening to contemplate. Also, I was suicidal for quite a long time despite receiving good MH treatment. Had a formal pathway been available to me, I'd have taken it. Therapy and antidepressants saved my life, but how much neater and cheaper it would have been to kill me!

Canada's MAID (Medically Assisted Dying 🤨) programme will once again make mental illness an eligible condition this March (It's been under review). The government's seriously considering extending the programme to drug addiction and homelessness, and there are already widespread reports of people in poverty being sent MAID information packs.

No, thank you ...

I am in my mid 50s and have known too many people who have taken their own lives over the years - a 13 year old classmate at school, a teen friend, an ex bf, my SIL, a 16 year old apprentice I was mentoring at work, a friends dad, one of ds's football team mates dad, and in 35 years of working 4 work colleagues.

All male except for my SIL. Every one with no warning signs that I saw, some seemed to be impulsive others planned, every one left behind devasted families with no answers.

I do see it talked about more, my workplace has support lines, MH first aiders etc, but it doesn't feel any more, or sadly less common than it was 30 years ago to me.

The title is the TW for goodness’ sake - use your noggin!

The trigger warning is the title. Either choose to click on it or not.

The thread title is self-explanatory. People don't need to click on it.

@MillicentMaybe

@YouJustDoYou said it was herlife limit. Why are you making it all about you?

Middle aged people of both sexes are most likely to kill themselves.
Its hard to believe things are going to get better if they have not by this stage.

On average 115 men end their lives ever WEEK in the UK..Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in this country.
On everage 21 women do the same.
Men's are usually mental health problems.. Womens to get away from domestic abuse.
Andys mens club is the biggest prevention of Men's suicide.. l help raise funds.
andysmanclub.co.uk/

The following is a man l loved with all my heart.
And l haven't loved a man scince and never will again.

.

As someone who has attempted in the past and plans to complete in the future, I can confirm that in some areas the MH provision is neglectful. I’ve come across some fantastic nurses and care coordinator’s, but they’re tied to rigid and unaccommodating procedures. Others are just dicks.

No-one should be forced to die a painful death alone, afraid to tell others, unable to say goodbye to their loved ones. More and more violent and visible suicides will occur while the government restricts access to the less painful methods.

I’m a member of a prochoice website; it’s one of the most supportive and non threatening environments I’ve had the privilege of being a member of. People can talk openly about their thoughts and feelings without fear or stigma. You can discuss methods, but it doesn’t actively encourage suicide and a large number of members, like myself, are still alive because we found the website. It’s kept me going for the past 4 years.

The comments I read about it being a temporary solution or selfish or things will get better, while well meaning just underline the lack of understanding of someone who has planned their death. I do agree that for certain mental health conditions, for example psychosis, the mental health act is a useful tool. But non impulsive suicidal people, who have come to the really hard conclusion that death is better than living, should be allowed a choice.

I do feel sorry for those affected by suicide, but it’s outweighed by my sympathy for those that have now stopped whatever pain made them end their life. Survival instinct is exceptionally hard to overcome - if you’ve never been in this situation, you won’t understand the strength and courage it takes to go through with it.

I’m afraid @Treeper22 that poster may be one of the MH staff who tell desperate, suicidal people that they “have capacity” and so cannot be stopped. A practise which is an absolute disgrace of MH ‘care’. Which of course is usually said in the absence of any real healthcare or support.

If someone has a ton of support and still takes their life... how is it not their choice?

If you are going to blame MH services in that instance, then why not blame family too? My friend killed himself.. was not under MH services... just the care of his family. Was it their fault? They were the only people looking after him.

And I know you are referencing me and my PP about people not accepting help. Believe me, they got offered loads of help.. they did not want to do it. And I have been there myself. I told crisis team that I wanted some dart shot at me to put me to sleep and fix things. Working at my issues was very hard, but the only way out of my slump was to do it.

I think life has become pretty meaningless to a lot of people. Lack of belief in an after life, a higher purpose. I’m not religious btw but just pondering. People think you just die and that’s that. There’s a lot of living in the moment now and not giving a shit beyond that, a belief that when you go you just go and that’s that. If life becomes meaningless then so does death. None of it really matters.

Is the thread title "People ending their lives" not trigger warning enough?

My cousin committed suicide last year. No warning, one morning just walked out on partner and kids and jumped off bridge. Utterly shocking.

It is heartbreaking to read that in this day and age and all that we know about mental health, people on here have said it’s selfish to commit suicide. You really have no idea.

I often think it's something that there aren't more people killing themselves, as for many life is pretty relentlessly rotten

It's actually really hard to do with any guarantee of success and without horrific suffering.

@gonetogreece

are you serious or taking the pee?

wasn't the title enough of a warning?

Ex mental health nurse here, when I first started working we had big asylums where people could stay and be monitored and supported, the stigma of the 'bins' was undeserved, many people found them a place to recover their sanity and move on .

However, we were well staffed and motivated, but still patients ended their lives when they went home or wandered off to a quiet corner somewhere, and it was always heartbreaking for us as well as families and friends.

Sometimes no intervention works , as often the patients mood would lift and as no clinical reasons we're left to detain them , they'd be discharged and a few days after would be found dead.

A colleague went to a patients home for after care, had a good and positive appointment, half an hour after leaving the client hung himself in his garage . The nurse was devastated and left nursing soon after.

I often think it's something that there aren't more people killing themselves, as for many life is pretty relentlessly rotten , and human resilience can be a powerful thing, but sometimes it just runs out .

I feel exactly the same.

When I was at high school, in the early 70s, a boy in my class took his life - we all knew. My aunt did the same thing in the 80s, once again it was not hidden, and all throughout my life I've heard of people who died by suicide. I don't recall a time in my lifetime (I'm 64) that it was considered shameful.

I haven’t read all comments due to some personal triggers, I put a comment without going through the thread.

I just wanted to say though that my thoughts go out to anyone who’s been impacted by suicide

While rates have gone up slightly recently, possibly due to the isolation and lack of MH support due to Covid, plus the economic crisis, rates were higher in the past. As PP have said, there was more of a stigma in the past, and suicides were reported as 'accidents' if at all possible. Until 1961, attempted suicide was treated as a criminal offence in the UK. So people often didn't talk about it.

Two of my mother's relatives took their own lives in separate incidents in the 1950s. At least one of my schoolmates died by suicide as a teenager in the 1970s. So did a close friend's father, also in the 70s. Three people whom I knew died by suicide in the 90s. And far more people whom I know tried unsuccessfully - most of them not that recently.

That's anecdote- but there is a lot of evidence that suicide rates are lower than a few decades ago. By far the highest rates in the last 100 years were during the Great Depression.

🤍

https://www.spuk.org.uk/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/supporting-someone-who-feels-suicidal/useful-contacts/

https://www.samaritans.org/

Absolutely! And there is still, you can see it on this thread, a habit of blaming people. So, they had all the support and they did it anyway so their choice. Not, well perhaps what we are offering is unhelpful or counterproductive or we're not attuning to this person (the amount of mental HCPs who seem incapable of listening is awful). Or they were offered help but refused to accept it and 'put the work in' (one of my most hated therapy phrases). It's like people can't understand that there are rarely any services and what services there are are one-size fits all and move you along as quickly as possible. Some of the services I have engaged with have been laughable if it wasn't so terrifying how so lacking in basic awareness of trauma and effects of early sexual abuse they were.

I've done 20 years of 'putting in the work' and if I finally say I've had enough and people want to call me selfish then that just shows up their ignorance.

@Riverlee

in the nicest possible way. The title is a warning.