To feel he should/could have stepped up?

I think it’s the “can’t handle this“ comment that feels the worse part of this. I feel like the translation is “I don’t want to handle this” and then just didn’t handle it.

In what situations can you “handle” your child having a seizure with vomit in their mouth? Surely everyone finds this situation acutely stressful and just does it because you have to!

You did it because YOU had to.

Are you going to address this with him? Maybe send him an email that he can read when he gets to work tomorrow. I’m so angry for you.

I doubt you'll ever get that out of your mind now.

He didn't put himself out, let alone into harms way, for his kids. What else won't he be able to do when they absolutely need him to adult for them?

And you? How very little he thinks of you with his competitive illness crap.

I'm not sure I could eve look at him again without wanting to spit.

I hope you and the kids feel better soon and that you find a way through this to a less 'let down' life.

I’d be raging OP.

OP I’m so sorry your DH behaved like this. I couldn’t be with someone who essentially abandoned me in a time of crisis - that’s what this was. How pathetic he is.

Get him up now. He needs to be making drinks and looking after children while you have a break. He figures that he's off to work tomorrow as he's feeling better and as we all know work is actually easier than staying at home with children, poorly or not. Hope you're all feeling better soon x

What a disgusting worm of a man 🤮

Jesus, OP, your 'D'H is a total dickhead. Don't let him get away with gaslighting you with bullshit like you don't know how bad he was feeling. When your very young child is fitting on the floor and your baby is sick and terrified, you bloody well step up. Too sick to talk to the 999 operator my arse.

FWIW, my ex was like this. (But is annoyingly absolutely brilliant at hiding it in public, so he looks like the most amazing dad on earth.) You really do need to think about what sort of future you want. It may be that you wait for the 1 year old to get a bit older before you leave (I did), but pandering to the whims of a man child will eventually suck the life out of you.

I hate the flawed "logic" that he must be sicker than you because he's the bed.

But you aren't any less sick (prob worse tbh) just that if you aren't up looking after the kids then who the hell is ?

It's not that you are well enough just that you have no choice, but from his perspective you must be better BECAUSE you are u and helping.

Note : it called being a parent 😤

I'm so furious for you. Yadnbu and I don't think I'd be able to trust or respect him ever again after that

YANBU at all, he's a joke and I'd be disgusted by him to be honest. If he was that bad then he should have been in hospital himself, but I can't imagine anyone, unless they were actually seriously ill bordering on unconscious, who wouldn't or couldn't pull themselves together to handle a phone call to 999 on behalf of their own child. I've got a badly broken ankle at the moment and I'm at home alone all day and you just have to get on with shit the best you can - I've walked the dog while having a migraine a few times because there's been nobody else to do it and that's nothing like as serious a situation as a child requiring an ambulance.
That would be it for me -I know that's a big thing to say, but I couldn't imagine being with a bloke who would behave that way, I'd have the instant and total ick for life. Good luck OP.

Firstly, well done for getting through what must have been a horrendous few days for you. You deserve ten gold medals and a thousand cups of tea, OP.

Secondly, desperate though it was the situation still would have been easier without him there. That’s your bottom line.

I would take my children and divorce his sorry arse.

Thing is it’s always men/dads isn’t it. Mums are never too sick to get out of bed to deal with their babies or toddlers.

Mums basically have to be at deaths doors near needing hospital themselves and yet they will if they can still drag themselves up enough for the children.

Dads don the dressing gown of doom and stay in bed so so sick. While mum can be dragging her self on the floor cleaning her own sick wiping a toddlers bum and his still sicker 🙄

I would not be able to get past this.

Funny how he's not too ill to be on his phone today. Lazy fucker.

He is fucking disgusting.

I couldn't look at him.

He very obviously isn’t so ill that he couldn’t make a phone call.

For me this would have been one of those “something inside me died” moments that makes you actually not love someone any more. Though if he has form for this, that would have happened long ago.

Do you think he’d actually be interested in having them if you split up?

doesn’t sound like it to me.

That would absolutely be the end of my marriage.

Thats just so bloody awful of him. How can he not feel horribly guilty and ashamed. The least he could’ve done was take the 1 year old up to bed with him.

I’m so sorry OP, you must feel so let down!

My dh always let me down (especially at the most critical moments). I remember a couple of times when I would be vomiting from a migraine and just needed to lie down in the dark. He would suddenly be “sicker” than me and need to sleep! I would end up getting up with a sick bucket next to me while trying to rock the baby to sleep. All while he lay there snoring with no symptoms of being sick at all.

He’s an ex now and it’s so much easier relying on myself tbh!

Oh god how have you not got serious ick?

What a specimen .

I’d never forgive my DH if he acted like this in this situation. I’m not one for shouting LTB at the drop of a hat but I would struggle to ever get past this. What sort of parent isn’t there for their children in a medical emergency.

I hope you're all feeling a bit better now OP. I am lost for words, I feel angry on your behalf. Perhaps you should investigate a future without him.

I doubt he’d be looking after them when they were with him. Either he’d get his mother to do it, or find a girlfriend to look after him, and the children when they’re there.

This....

He's in bed... on his phone, we'll he's not ill. Switch off the WiFi, hide the charger, and when he shouts to see why he can't surf tell him to get his lazy arse out of bed and stop being a whiny bitch.

He seriously ignored his own child having a seizure?? Like seriously?

Sounds like he doesn't want to be a parents I'd be amazed if he wanted the dc on his own should you leave.