To pull my 2 year old out of nursery?

Did you find it helped his speech OP?

Hi. Can I ask what you decided to do? I’m literally going through the same thing right now but he is doing 3 days a week.

Agree completely. Also remember boys' social development lags slightly behind that of girls. My DS is 19 I put him in nursery at 2.5 ( his name had been down since birth) wish I'd kept him at his lovely childminders for another 6 months. Also just to say he is fine, but his time at his child minders is what he remembersmost fondly.

Common sense on Aibu 😯

Sounds like a sensible and thought out approach

IMO that's totally the right decision.

Keep going to all the playgroups and activites with him. And talk a lot to him without any background noise to help improve his speech. You may even have a children's centre locally that you could approach for speech sessions like Toddler Talk or whatever.

'but I do socialise him a lot. We do toddler groups , soft play, swimming and dad does a sport class.'

That's loads, and that's all he needs at his age. Sounds like a good decision OP 👍

If he doesn’t need to be in nursery I wouldn’t send him. I had to send mine and they had to push through that crying stage but they went more often which helps.

I would look for a preschool attached to your primary school of choice and put his name down for when he turns 3.

Unless you need that time as mum to mentally recharge I would bother.

I’d take him out.

For what it’s worth, none of my 3 children went to nursery. The eldest didn’t even go to school until secondary, as I home educated him until then. He’s a young adult now and despite everyone telling me how I was somehow holding him back by not putting him in nursery by the age of 3, he’s doing pretty well in life! You’d have thought he would have grown up cowering away from society and unable to fit in the way some people went on.

Middle child went straight into reception with no problems.

Currently sat next to my youngest who is 3 and a half, she will be the same as her brother, Home Ed (my middle child was a very different personality and school suited her from day one).

Do what you feel is best for your child. My children always went to lots of activities and groups, there was no need to put them in a nursery with me being at home.

If you're a stay at home mum, then I can't see any point in persisting with sending your son to nursery at such a young age if he's so unhappy. You're obviously giving him the opportunity to mix with other children at the other groups you attend so in your circumstances, I can't see any benefit in continuing to send him to nursery at this point in time when you could both be enjoying each other's company. He's still a long way off from starting school, so there's plenty of time for him to get used to being away from you when he's much more ready.

Now this post actually is nothing else but some pretty unacceptable parent shaming

@MariaVT65 post all you like, but I think maybe this just isn't the thread for you. I'm the third person that's pointed out how much you've missed the purpose and general tone of this thread, and your continued defensiveness (despite proclaiming not to be) is very telling. Your son enjoys nursery, that's great. But that's not what the OP is interested in and not what people are discussing here

It’s up to you. I think most SAHM’s send their DC when they hit 3 and go to a nursery attached to school for 3 hours a day don’t they? I wouldn’t send my DC to nursery any younger than this if I wasn’t at work.

@MariaVT65

This isn't a debate about whether being with your primary caregiver or being at nursery is better, but if it was we all know that being with your primary caregiver is vastly better. Fortunately the OP has a choice. I was put into child care from 6 weeks full time and I actually I do think it has affected me negatively, I do think I would have been vastly better off with my mother. That's just anecdotal, but there's plenty of evidence out there.

Have you seen she said she dropped him off day 1 and left immediately? It's nothing to do with socialising him enough, it sounds traumatic

It sounds like he's had virtually no settling in sessions, is that right? My child wouldn't be going to nursery like that. He's better off with you, if you genuinely think he's missing out take him to stay & plays or messy plays with you there

You know bugger all of my feelings then lol. I have no guilt sending my son to nursery, it has been fantastic for him and he loves it there.

Also, there is literally a poster on this thread calling the idea of a small child going to nursery as ‘abhorrent’ which Op also called out. So please don’t gaslight me.

When these kids are 10 years old, i doubt any of you could tell which ones went to nursery at 2 and which ones didn’t.

Sounds exactly like my daughter when she first started. It took her maybe a couple of months to get fully settled in and used to the idea of nursery but once she did there was no stopping her.

Over a year down the line she’s thriving and getting ready to start school in august.

I actually think it’s a little unusual to continue crying and be collected early. LOADS cry at drop off, then they get distracted until there’s a few tears on collection. It’s pretty rare to ask for collection. I’d leave it on this basis for a while, it sounds too much.
3 of my 5 stayed at home pre-school. It did not impact them getting ready to be independent at all. In fact they were confident as anything once old enough.

You haven't socialised him enough.

I have known children that age sometimes take a month to settle, generally the more time they have there the quicker they settle, though that is hard. Unless he gets time with the key workers to form bonds he will struggle a bit. Totally up to you if you pull out and try again, I've known 4 year olds go to school having never done nursery and be okay, but you'd have to start leaving him with others (family/friends with kids for a half hour etc) to get him used to it

Nursery will help the school transition as once at school it's 30 children all day with limited adult support compared to a nursery - doesn't mean you can't delay/not do nursery, but I think worth working on leaving him one way or another in the meantime

You could just try short days or even a different nursery (I visited many and they all had different vibes, I went with a smaller one with high teacher ratios rather than all bells and whistles but didn't seem to have a very personal touch)

Actually research says first 1000 days with their primary caregiver is critical. But yes, some people do have to work and also some children might prefer nursery, I agree often it may be better for them than being with a parent who doesn't do much. It's not to say it's the best thing for a young child especially for long extended hours. In this case it sounds like it's better for OP to keep her child home for longer if she can