Nephew vs Andrew Tate

I’d ask him what he thinks of Andrew and Tristan’s Tates views on bringing up daughters (whom they say they will cherish and spoil financially and get to sit in businesss/first class) and sons (who they expect to get ready for a man’s tough life so will have to work in their businesses, fly economy class, get physical punishment etc)
or Andrew Tates view that if his sons are doing well at school he won’t congratulate them he expects them to be top 1% in the world, or he will beat them.

is DN working hard at school, working hard physically with training or martial arts? Or is he gaming or vaping (or weed, assume not at that age!). If not the former and doing any of latter, his hero thinks he’s a loser. And would beat him if he were his own son.

No, don't entertain any of his faux positives in interviews those have only been his views since he got charged. These are his real views.

Go for the mocking technique as described above

It sounds like he is being radicalised. His mum needs to check what forums he is using as he might be using incel groups. Often the people in these groups are ND.

His mum should look into some of the incels who have carried out mass killings and debate if she wants her son to end up like that or if she’s willing to get him off the internet full stop.

Personally I wouldn’t put the blame on the child. I’d say to his parents that I’m not comfortable with him coming over until they deal with his behaviour as it’s concerning.

And a penchant for strangling, trafficking and raping women.

Great message.

The guy doesn't have a 'message'. He converted to Islam because he wants his 'followers' to think he's changed.

Not the Kool Aid for me I'm afraid.

I've looked at your other threads and, unlike the other poster who thinks the problem is you, I can see that you find your sister difficult to understand, that she expects you to spend money you don't have on her children, that she said something cruel to you about a dress you bought her daughter, and that she expects a lot from your Mum, whilst being quite mean to her.

I'd be concentrating on making friends and expanding your social circle. Your sister sounds like a difficult character.

I'd concentrate on supporting your Mum with ways to cope with DN. Take care OP.

His 'message' is that women are chattel. There isn't much to understand there. He hates women, he wants them to suffer, and for whatever reason he has a chronic lack of self esteem, and abuses women to make himself feel better. There is no 'message', it's just another sad little man with a dented ego. But with some social media savvy.

Yes. I’ve seen it. The man is a criminal arsehole, but since he started to follow Islam his message has changed a little and some of it is worthy. Also the op and her sister are not going to put the lad off Tate if they don’t understand Tates message.

Top Gangster (or gangsta as the kids like to say )

Familiarise yourself with Tate, you can't mock what you don't know. You'd only have to watch a couple of videos to get enough material to take the piss, the man's a muppet - there's a reason his fans are 13 year old or incels.

Worthy?
Have you seen the recent Channel 4 documentary?

If you've seen my other AIBU posts you'll know we don't always have a good relationship.

Following this post I looked at your other AIBU posts. You have a problem with your niece. You have a problem with the toddler twins. And now you have a problem with her 12yo son.

Whatever the problem you have, it is not these children's fault.

Given that teachers have been attending training courses on how to deal with the AT cult in the classroom, it's no wonder you and your sister are at a loss.

I don't believe having a male figure smack him with 'old school discipline' is the answer either, especially if he has ASD.

However if you RTFT you'd see Dad isn't around.

I think all the adults need to chat and agree on a strategy, and perhaps ask for advice from school as well.

My son was like this ( but a bit older). My advice - listen to the more recent AT and Tristan Tate interviews with Piers Morgan , and speak to the lad about it. There are some aspects of ATs message that are very worthy and you could talk about that before picking up on the mysogeny.

Does he not have a father to smack him upside the head for talking to women that way? Or is dad a woman hater too? Kid needs proper old school discipline. He's got too big for his breaches.

If I was his mum I'd ban all Internet and stop doing any housework for him. If he wants cooking or cleaning done, he can ask for her help and do it with her nicely. And he needs to be in therapy ASAP. Serious therapy.

A 27yo man is very different to a 12yo child.

I'll never understand the influence Tate has, he sounds like a demented Kermit!

If anyone worshipped him around me I'd take the piss out of him - they soak up all this 'Top G' bullshit online, openly mock him (Tate, not your DN) - make him sound ridiculous.

I wouldn't go on about the charges surrounding him because he has his supporters parroting how he's been set up, it's all the Matrix's doing 🙄 instead id just mock him, practise your best Kermit voice and rehearse some of his Matrix lines. He won't think Tate's so 'G' if his aunty takes the piss and isn't shocked at all by him.

The part where I think I might be unreasonable. I don't know how to tell DSis, or even if I should, that unless her son stops talking like Tate around me, I'm not prepared to see him, or have him in my house. My skin was crawling by the end of the visit. His views on women are just awful

Just tell her. They can pander to him if they want. You don't have to. My cousin is 27 and not allowed in my home because he's an Andrew Tate disciple. I have daughters. Im uninterested in putting up with him and wont do the 'be kind'🙄 thing too often expected of women - listening to the poison of a wet behind the ears sexist little fool, and then women of course must run around looking for a man who can help the poor little dear. All whilst he talks to the women in his family as if they're a piece of shit.

You can tell your sister to access help and info but shouldnt take anything else upon yourself. Personally I'd not set foot in her home again either.

She needs to remove his phone permanently and lock hers away. He sounds troubled.

agree with grey rocking him so he doesn’t feed off the reactions though.

Calling it "re-education" in front of him is a really weird approach though. Of course he's going to resist that. Who wouldn't?

If he continues with this far-right Andrew Tate parroting, school are likely to invoke their Prevent duty. It's that serious. Prevent is about right-wing indoctrination as much as it is about other forms of grooming.

That said, you can't parent him. Your sister needs to wise up and actually parent her child. Remove his phone, delete his social media. I mean, get her to read the wikipedia pages of people like Elliot Rodger? Does she need that much of a kick up the arse? This is serious.

I'm the mother of an older teen with ASD who experienced many obsessions including Illuminati and a bit of AT, but that came later. I can't imagine the damage it would have done if any of my family threatened to go NC with me and my child unless I took control of what he said around them.

You would not be helping your sister or your nephew by doing this @Spencer0220.

She's not going far enough and actually, IMO, she is neglecting him. It isn't safe for him to have a phone. Confiscating it for a month is neither here nor there; he is being groomed by extremists. It's that serious. And she is knowingly handing over the means for them to indoctrinate him. He doesn't need a phone; he needs protecting.

I haven't seen your other threads and it sounds like your relationship is difficult so I can see it's tricky to get involved. With one of my siblings, I'd definitely be doing some very straight talking at this point.

If he lacks any kind of male role model, I'd definitely be trying to get DH to take him under his wing. I think the fact his father is absent will be playing a massive part in his behaviour.