AIBU to not borrow DP money?

Yes, me too!

Yawn. I work full time and pay all the bills as a lone parent, I don't steal money from my child.

I think some of you are being extremely harsh on this man with the issue of £3000 from son being disproportionately criticised. You are a couple, he works full time and pays all the bills. That is a big responsibility and cannot be taken for granted ( I know alot of people who do take that for granted). Getting high interest loans and mismanaging money is a problem but doesn't warrant some of the unkind descriptions. I think you both need to have some serious discussions as to how to move forward with the money management issues, I appreciate that this is easier said than done. Otherwise, you will end up with a growing resentment that will severely affect your relationship.
It seems that you have alot of positives in this relationship

would give us his last dime,

Except he wouldn’t as he keeps taking yours. He’s never going to change

You are setting a bad example for your DC. Also as you are the only one who can access your DC money, you stole it from their account to give to your partner who could have got a lift with his co-worker anyway. You say your DC will get repaid one day but one day may never come and if that money was in your DC account it would be gaining interest. Do the people who give your DC money for birthdays know you give it to your partner?

What on earth is the matter with you?? I cannot believe you gave her your child’s savings! That’s dreadful behaviour!!

blimey! Sort it out OP!

These are exactly my thoughts too. Your poor DC will never see their own money again and think how much interest they are losing. Make him repay your DC. If you want to lend him money he will never learn how to manage his money. But it's not fair to let him steal from your DC.

The worst thing about what you post is that he doesn't seem to want to improve the situation or take any advice on how to manage his money better.

As the saying goes, if you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you always got.

Personally I would take the line that if he is not going to manage his money better or improve his situation, that is his choice. But it would not be something I would facilitate by lending him more, and I would look to secure my own situation. My guess is it will only be when he reaches the end of the line in what he can borrow from you/the banks that he will actually start thinking about his spending and how it needs to be managed.

When will he learn? AIBU????
You are being very unreasonable thinking he will ever learn. If you dont want to split up then you'd do better accepting who he is rather than expecting him to somehow learn and change then getting hurt by that when he doesn't.

There is always a tendancy on MN for posters to advise to LTB whatever you may think.

He pays all the bills. You say you pay what you can, but you work part time. Do you think it is now time for you to get a full time job? Is this partly why he's so short of funds?

He’s getting some stick but from your update it does seem he pays everything and you pay “what you can”, so there may be some element of imbalance there. We don’t really have enough info

if he’s wasting money, yep that’s out of order, but if he’s just skint through paying everything that’s different.

I can plainly see why you haven't married or as I expect you to say don't want to marry this current boyfriend.

Although you both sound as bad as each other stealing from your young child. It sounds as though your boyfriend lied about the reasons for getting a car too.

He won’t give you his last dime, he will TAKE your last dime. Well done for having separate finances though. I would take over all bills and tell him to pay his share into an account he cannot access.
His Share must include a payment plan for paying back his child’s money.

So he borrowed £3000 from his child that he didn't actually need and hasn't even started paying it back and then he takes another high interest loan out without even discussing it with you? Wow.
This man will never get his act together all the time you keep bailing him out.
I'd be demanding seeing his bank accounts and if he continues to refuse, the bail outs stop happening because it would seem that you don't actually have any idea of the state of his financial situation.
I think you need to take this very seriously.

This is the classic ‘he may be a dickhead but he’s MY dickhead’ response.

Sounds like you will always just scrape by if you stay with this spendthrift loser. And yes, any man who takes money from his child’s money when he could have just saved for one is a loser.

You loan him money not borrow him it ffs

This is dialectical in some parts of the country. No need to be snarky.

But I agree he's not a great dad or partner. At best he's feckless, at worst he's a rogue who will bleed her dry.

Perhaps a FT job for OP would cost more in jersey fees than she could earn in extra income.

He LIED in order to get his hands on money for a car - a car which has ongoing costs of MOT, insurance, fuel, repairs etc. Perhaps without the upkeep of the vehicle expenses, they could afford their lifestyle.

My DH worked night shift as a security guard at a 24 hour supermarket after getting straight into third year at university (Scotland) as a mature student. Studying or not we still had bills to pay and he did everything he could to help with those bills. We had a joint income of £27,000 at the time and had to cut our cloth accordingly. Your partner has proven he is very good at spending money and not just his own but what does he actually provide?

He doesn't give you his last dime though does he, he takes it.

Quite. He can’t, because he’s already spent it. And he’s spent his kids’ dimes too.

A good partner doesn't take a loan out without telling you, sorry! He then "borrowed" 3k from your child, and at the moment it doesn't like you will see that money replenished for a long time!

My kids have savings and I will NEVER use it, as its not my money it's theirs.

Mt DP isn't amazing with money but he isn't reckless either. He will at least ask me how much the bills are, when they go out and how much to pay, he wouldn't get loans out without telling me.

Financial abuse.

Stop funding his lifestyle.

Completely separate your finances and get your son's money back asap.

You are looking at this through Rose tinted glasses.

Your partner is financially irresponsible and relies on the fact that you're not to get him out of problems.
He needs to pay back your child's £3000 asap and can't have any other support from you until he has.

I'd seriously consider your long term future with this man; having the same attitude to finances and sharing financial goals with a partner are basic things to have discussed and have in common.

What was the most recent loan for? Don't marry him and don't get a mortgage with him, he can't be trusted. Do you know how much he actually earns? Is he lying about this and using loans to make up the shortfall? Tell him to sell the bleddy car.

How is he going to pay back your dc £3000 while also saving money for this time next year, and not overspending as he goes over the next few months?
I think you might be a little delusional about the sort of man he is. He’s not learning from previous mistakes with money - just relying on you to bail him out. He’s also not willing to accept help to be more responsible by sharing his account info. You need to carefully consider how enmeshed you become with him unless he can be very open about where his money is going.

In the kindest way possible OP, open your fucking eyes! He is not going to pay that money back- OR if he does, how long will it take if he doesn't even have a job?
He is clearly not a good father, or a good partner, or a good person in general- stealing his little boy's savings (3000 from a child?? that isn't borrowing, that's theft). Raise your standards for God's sake!
Have fun being completely used by him for your and the kid's money. It's them I feel sorry for, you're complicit in this and letting him get away with it if you don't act.