Do you think men seeing escorts is common?

Gross I don’t think it’s common. I have never heard any of my male friends or colleagues “joking” about this sort of thing. I wouldn’t find it funny at all.

Totally abnormal.

And you should leave your job. The men you work with are ALL seedy.

You obviously move in different circles of men than I do because this is completely different to my experience. By the way I think the majority of men who have used a prostitute will have done it to lose their cherry and then never again. Most blokes do NOT ever want to be ‘sloppy seconds’ as the poster above alluded.

Not rubbish at all- as I said Iv researched it and it is rife across all types/walks of life. Not just the people in my circles at all. Keep your head in the sand if you want. You cannot deny the extensive prevalence of pop up brothels and escort directories and the major problem we now have with women being trafficked into this country. It’s not about the social circles I live in at all- it’s all circles- there is no “type” of man- the men that use prostitutes vary wildly in their background and you are incredibly naive thinking otherwise. Also it’s not infantilising men to say they can’t help themselves when it comes to sex- it’s a strong primal urge for them and where they can do it in secret with no repercussions they absolutely will and do. As I said it’s not 100% of men it’s certainly a majority though.

i know the author is not excatly popular on here , the books secret diary of a call girl, but im guessing in the city etc its prob quite common @JaneyGee

No, I think that's rubbish tbh. A poster upthread posted the stats as only 1% so it's not rife at all.

Perhaps it's your social circles/location/age but it's absolutely not the norm. Your perspective is obviously skewed by your awful experience but that only makes it your reality, not the actual reality. There's just no need really. People can get it without paying.

Saying men can't help themselves is infantalizing and is making excuses. Lots of men would never cheat let alone use a prostitute. There's one on here on an anonymous forum who explained why.

I think 1% is much lower than reality and I probably know dozens of men who've used prostitutes. I can think of four men I know who've admitted it and, of course, most won't admit to it.

@wellhello24 absolutely 100% spot on

I’m absolutely astounded at the level of nativity on here. Use of prostitutes & escorts is absolutely RIFE and in every corner of the UK. Every type of man from all walks of life. I’m not saying 100% of men do it but waayyy more than you think do. Way way more.Men you know- coworkers, male friends, friend’s husbands. Pop up brothels are everywhere now because there is massive demand. Trafficking is a bigger problem than it ever was. It’s normalised amongst men. Since my engagement ended years ago when I found out my fiancé regularly visited prostitutes whilst working away I have looked into this extensively mainly to make sense of what happened and I realise it’s extremely common just men keep it hush. I learnt that my work mates (professional job) my brothers mates (my bros don’t own up to it themselves to me of course but tell me about their mates on nights out & work trips). The men in my exs family talked about it casually with each other- they’d do it when on holiday or when wife/girlfriend out or away. My ex would tell me. Male friends tell me when Iv asked it’s what a LOT of regular guys they know do. My female workmates tell me their husband admitted they did it when single. Iv read a lot of online chats about it, discussions & a lot of articles too. Morbid curiosity after what happened to me.
Most women seem to think it’s a stereotype creep that does it but it’s not. It’s professional men, high flying men, army men, policemen, bin men, office men, family men, students, teachers etc etc I hate to say it but a vast lot of you would find your man has done this at least once but more likely a few times or even habitually. Doesn’t matter how good your sex life is if a man can fuck more women and get away with it they will. It’s so freely available & discreet these days there are many many websites. So many. They can’t help themselves when it comes to sex. It’s a sad reality I guess a man with a low sex drive is less likely to do this. Sorry to be negative but I’m afraid this is a reality.

No, I don't think its common. I can think of loads of men who've had affairs but can only think of one that I know has used a prostitute.

I'm male, and I wouldn't do it because it's abhorrent and morally wrong, but even if you stripped all morality out of it, the STI risk, and the idea that I'd be having sex with someone who may have already had sex with 2 or 3 other people that day would completely put me off.

I'm not making any value judgments about sex workers here, people do what they have to do to survive. And it's not some homophobic thing, that I don't want my dick somewhere there's already been a dick. I'm bisexual.

If I'm married and having an affair with a married woman, then I can be (reasonably) confident that the only STI risk is from me, my wife, the other woman, or the other womans husband. The number of possible STI vectors when sleeping with prositutes is far higher.

I reckon there's a lot of men who'd have no problems having an affair for moral reasons. I reckon there's a lot of men who'd balk at the fact they have to pay for it. But I reckon the most common reason men won't do it is that they just find the idea of it a bit grim.

If one percent is the figure I think that’s high. It means that one in a hundred men regularly use prostitutes. Soo you probably know at least one man who used prostitutes.

No I'd say escorts get less work from these men since Tinder and other hook-up apps became popular.

I don’t think it’s common, but I do think that the men who do use prostitutes would surprise a lot of people if they knew. In terms of your colleagues not coming across as seedy or lechy: an ex girlfriend of mine many years ago was a receptionist for a “massage parlour.” One of the things she found most surprising was how many of the clients seemed to think that the women they were seeing genuinely liked and enjoyed their company: they’d bring gifts, they often talked about the “special bond” they had with the woman they were in to see. I think a lot of men who use prostitutes don’t think of themselves as taking advantage and really do see it as a mutual relationship. “The popularity of “Girlfriend experience” as a service probably also reflects that.

And at some level, can you blame them? A lot of sex workers themselves say - whether they’re being truthful and emotionally literate or not - that they enjoy the work, find it empowering, have chosen to do it. If they’re saying that, then it’s not unreasonable that their customers are going to take them at face value and believe them.

I think with the rise of adult work and sites like that it's so much easier for men these days to get sex on order. There are review sites and everything. I think it's more common than we probably think if it wasn't then all these women wouldn't be in a job.

I think a few men use escorts a lot and a lot of men have used one once.

The type of men who have stags in Amsterdam and trips to Thailand alone or just with the lads will fall in the at least once but likely a regular user I reckon. Could add in magaluf and Ibiza if you really want tho that’s more cheating than escorts.

Golf club escorts being the higher end type of presume the wives likely know but don’t miss the money and prefer that to an affair that could end the marriage.

I think so too but I guess it's easier to pretend that it is not that common. I suspect that very many men - given the opportunity and that their partner would never find out - would do it.

I think it's uncommon.

I didn't say it was. And btw 'legal' porn can involve trafficked women.

I think I read it was 10% of men who have used a prostitute. No idea how accurate that number is. I think it's more common than people realise and it's often the men you wouldn't expect.
We went on holiday to Holland, not Amsterdam but Utrecht. There was a barge on the river that was basically a brothel. Every lunch time there was this huge queue of men lining up for a quick shag in their lunch breaks. They all looked very respectable, like business men in suits. Many had wedding rings on. I bet their wives had no idea!!

No it's not common at all. The vast majority of men have never paid for sex, and it's certainly not anywhere as near as common for men to visit escorts as it is for them to have affairs.

Around 14% of men have paid for sex in their lifetime but only 1% have done so in the past year. That's according to a US piece of research from 2013 but I doubt it's any different in 2024, or in the UK as opposed to the US. https://www.businessinsider.com/paying-for-sex-is-not-as-common-as-once-thought-2013-3

The sort of men you are talking about - like the so-called "hobbyists" in this article who use escorts on a regular, casual basis - are a tiny fraction of 1% of all men.

I think that cheating is more common than ”we” think (especially amongst women tbh) but I don’t think that escort use is that common.

Yes porn use is definitely widespread but I don’t think viewing legal porn is in the same category as hiring escorts and prostitutes.

They have always been very pleasant to me, and don’t come across as seedy or lechy

The conversations you are overhearing ARE seedy and leggy and shouldn’t be happening. Where on earth do you work?!!!

it isn’t even slightly “normal” or “common” to pay for sex.

You must work somewhere pretty shit OP if that’s the level of ‘banter’ in your office. I’d be updating my CV, the first time I heard this kind of talk.

I’m also middle aged, previously lived a fast life and would say that visiting escorts is not widespread. Maybe in some circles like yours, but none that I move in. In fact a fair few guys I know would be as turned off about it as I am of male strippers, who I think are gross.

To be honest though, I sense you’re a bit bored today, and decided to try and freak out some women about what their husbands are up to.

The “banter” in the office on the other hand, is grim. You should not have to sit there and smile while men joke about paying to have sex with (often) trafficked women while on WORK trips like you’re an extra in Mad Men, waiting to do their typing for them or something. I would honestly be either saying something out straight or going to HR and complaining

This. I would not stand for it at all. Revolting pigs.