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Original poster

Do you think men seeing escorts is common?

161 replies

JaneyGee · 14/01/2024 13:55

I was just reading the ‘do you think affairs are common?’ thread, and it made me wonder about sex workers. Do you think it’s more common for married men to visit escorts than to have full-blown affairs? Maybe I’m completely wrong, but I’ve known several women (all friends of friends) who’ve caught their husbands messaging or googling local escorts. It’s just so ridiculously easy these days. A man can lay in bed and scroll through dozens of local prostitutes on his phone. His wife could be asleep next to him as he does so. If a married man wants more sex, an escort is a much quicker and easier way to get what he wants. He’s also less likely to be caught.

I’ve heard married men at work joke about visiting escorts. Whenever one of them has to go abroad for a few weeks on business, the others joke about looking up the local escorts, or having escorts come to the hotel, etc. Somehow, they don’t quite feel like jokes. Sad thing is, I generally like these men. They have always been very pleasant to me, and don’t come across as seedy or lechy.

OP posts:
Underworld2 · 15/01/2024 12:46

@MissusKay exactly and sometimes seeing an escort can actually keep a sexless marriage together, the alternative being an affair, with all it's messiness, complications, emotional bulls*, ultimately leading to divorce

DefiantSparrow · 15/01/2024 12:44

A woman's body is not a work place. Sex is not work, just as romance and love are not work either. Some things can never be bought. This is prostitution and the men who use prostitutes have no respect for them. My allegiance is with the prostitute - I don't know they can allow their bodies to be used for money. I once knew a prostitute who gave up the profession because she felt violated and dirty. She used to cover herself in perfume to try and cleanse the past.

Howbizarre22 · 15/01/2024 12:39

*men paying prostitutes that should say not me Ffs 😄

Howbizarre22 · 15/01/2024 12:37

Willyoujustbequiet · 15/01/2024 11:03

Its not keeping my head in the sand - your experience is not reflected in the statistics. That's simply a fact. It's not most men.

And it is absolutely infantilzing men to say they can't help themselves when it comes to sex. It comes dangerously close to excusing inappropriate behaviour and not holding them accountable for their actions.

Many women have just as high a sex drive as many men but their actions wouldn't be dismissed as ' not being able to help themselves'. Your stance is inherently misogynistic as well as being offensive to men too.

Show quote history

If you see misogyny in my anti-misogynistic post that’s on you. Seriously you are hallucinating. Not one part of my post is misogynistic, quite the opposite. I stand up for women & hate that this industry exists and despite you not wanting to believe it—IS RIFE. You cannot equate to me paying prostitutes to satisfy urges to inappropriate touching or sexual assault. I think both are abhorrent- but they are NOT the same. And the stats? 12% of men studied admitted to it- you think that’s not a lot? And What you think most men who do it own up to it? The real figure is thought to be way higher.

And infantilising? No. I’m saying a LOT of men can’t help themselves regarding easily accessible, discreet sex that is on offer in every locality around the clock. How is that possibly me making men out to be child-like by saying they can’t help go out and satisfy their sexual urges? Seriously? Nothing infantilising about that I suggest you look up the world and while you’re at it look up ‘denial.’ Though Ignorance is bliss I know that.
Where did I deny that some women have high sex drives? I didn’t. Biologically men ON AVERAGE have higher & more powerful sex drives-scientific fact. I stated generally “more men than people think” Oh and yep- some women do see escorts. But it IS FACTUALLY FAR FAR less than men. That is reflected in the UNDENIABLY EXTENSIVE prevalence of female escorts & prostitutes than male. The demand is there. You simply cannot deny that. You CANNOT.
Don’t attack me calling me misogynistic (??) because I am delivering an uncomfortable truth. Trust me- I do not want to believe it either-this stuff destroyed my world-but there is truth in what I’m saying. Again- I did not say ALL men. I said a lot more than is known about because surprise surprise- men are not going to own up to it to partners are they? Don’t shoot the messenger.

ManateeFair · 15/01/2024 11:27

Do you think it’s more common for married men to visit escorts than to have full-blown affairs?

No, I certainly don't think it's more common than having an affair. I also think 'friends of friends' is an extremely unreliable metric. You're hearing this stuff second or third hand with no real idea whether it a) happened or b) happened in the way it was told to you.

I've no idea what proportion of married men go to escorts, but I do think that a lot more men look up escorts online (out of curiosity or for titillation or whatever) than ever actually use them. Obviously plenty of men are paying sex workers but I think there are plenty who just fantasise about it.

Some will definitely try to message them in the hope of chat with no intention of ever actually meeting them. That would still be a deal-breaker for me as I'm not comfortable with my partner messaging other women for thrills (and also, it's shitty of them to waste a sex worker's time trying to get free wank fodder out of them) but I'm not sure whether everyone would count that as 'seeing an escort'.

MissusKay · 15/01/2024 11:20

wellhello24 · 15/01/2024 08:36

And you sleep at night knowing you sleep with other women’s husbands and are complicit in the break up if happy homes? Where’s your morals and your sisterhood?

Show quote history

She hasn't made any vows. These men are 100% responsible for their behavior and the consequences of it.

All of this is more common than most of us would like to think. All these sex workers wouldn't exist if there was no market for it.

Willyoujustbequiet · 15/01/2024 11:03

Howbizarre22 · 14/01/2024 19:16

Not rubbish at all- as I said Iv researched it and it is rife across all types/walks of life. Not just the people in my circles at all. Keep your head in the sand if you want. You cannot deny the extensive prevalence of pop up brothels and escort directories and the major problem we now have with women being trafficked into this country. It’s not about the social circles I live in at all- it’s all circles- there is no “type” of man- the men that use prostitutes vary wildly in their background and you are incredibly naive thinking otherwise. Also it’s not infantilising men to say they can’t help themselves when it comes to sex- it’s a strong primal urge for them and where they can do it in secret with no repercussions they absolutely will and do. As I said it’s not 100% of men it’s certainly a majority though.

Show quote history

Its not keeping my head in the sand - your experience is not reflected in the statistics. That's simply a fact. It's not most men.

And it is absolutely infantilzing men to say they can't help themselves when it comes to sex. It comes dangerously close to excusing inappropriate behaviour and not holding them accountable for their actions.

Many women have just as high a sex drive as many men but their actions wouldn't be dismissed as ' not being able to help themselves'. Your stance is inherently misogynistic as well as being offensive to men too.

Intriguedbythis · 15/01/2024 10:51

@bringonyourwreckingball wow… that’s absolutely shocking. I am so sorry the shock must have left you reeling 💐.

please may we know , how did you find out?

I hope you kicked him out! X

wellhello24 · 15/01/2024 08:36

Underworld2 · 14/01/2024 23:35

@Annacondas times this by the thousands and thousands of women you'll see on well known escort sites making this a full time living. No demand, no supply. More common than you think....

And you sleep at night knowing you sleep with other women’s husbands and are complicit in the break up if happy homes? Where’s your morals and your sisterhood?

User135644 · 15/01/2024 07:18

Goldiex · 14/01/2024 21:10

Id say its more common for men with zero game and ability to pull a woman - not including the 'lads banter' in amsterdam that teenagers do etc. I know some very highly sexed males who have never ever paid for anything sexual because they simply dont need to. A number of the men im thinking of would be able to scroll their phonebooks to get an easy shag, go to a bar and definitely pull a woman, jeez i know one who can go to a house on a call out job, take the womans number and secure sex with her pretty soon after. I have many male cousins and friends and also had a bar as a business, ive heard many a conversation over this subject and its never the handsome guys with good game, its the opposite. Maybe with the exception of a guy who wants to cheat but hasnt got time outside his relationship to faciliate it / too scared to have a woman who will want to text etc because his partner will find out.

It's a small minority who get women easily though.

Underworld2 · 14/01/2024 23:35

@Annacondas times this by the thousands and thousands of women you'll see on well known escort sites making this a full time living. No demand, no supply. More common than you think....

Underworld2 · 14/01/2024 23:31

@MCOut exactly. Have a look on adult work or any other escort site and see the thousands of women on there who make this a full time living...

MCOut · 14/01/2024 23:24

The sheer number of women and men who manage to make a living doing sex work must mean it’s more common than we would all like to think.

SpecialCharacters · 14/01/2024 23:17

PurplePim · 14/01/2024 23:11

If we were talking about medication side effects 'common' would mean an incidence of 1 in 10 to 1 in 100 (with 'very common' being less than 1 in 10, and uncommon between 1 in 100 and 1 in 1000).

So, yes, I'd say it's common based on the studies quoted.

If 10-15% of men regularly visited escorts, then I think you could maybe describe it as common. Most of that figure seems to be men who have only done so on one occasion in their lives, though, so I think the answer to “Do you think men seeing escorts is common?” is No.

Annacondas · 14/01/2024 23:17

@PurplePim

I am using the dictionary definition of the word common

Guavafish1 · 14/01/2024 23:14

10% is high, I think this is an underestimate

PurplePim · 14/01/2024 23:13

Annacondas · 14/01/2024 22:59

@Nn9011

1/10 or even 1/7 isn’t common.

By the basic definition of the word common

I think you're misinterpreting the meaning of common. It doesn't mean a majority.

PurplePim · 14/01/2024 23:11

If we were talking about medication side effects 'common' would mean an incidence of 1 in 10 to 1 in 100 (with 'very common' being less than 1 in 10, and uncommon between 1 in 100 and 1 in 1000).

So, yes, I'd say it's common based on the studies quoted.

Annacondas · 14/01/2024 23:08

@Nn9011 nope.

common means something that is prevalent (which is different to frequent)

1/10 is a small minority of men

Nn9011 · 14/01/2024 23:06

@Annacondas common means something that occurs frequently - I'd say one in 10 men makes it pretty common.

Annacondas · 14/01/2024 22:59

@Nn9011

1/10 or even 1/7 isn’t common.

By the basic definition of the word common

WinterDeWinter · 14/01/2024 22:59

DewHopper · 14/01/2024 15:01

They have always been very pleasant to me, and don’t come across as seedy or lechy

They hide it well then because that's exactly what they are.

This.

Plus misogynist, plus abusive.

SpecialCharacters · 14/01/2024 22:57

Theres been quite a few studies and they seem to put the number of men that have paid for sex, at least once, in the low-mid teens, with 1% doing so recently/regularly.

Nn9011 · 14/01/2024 22:57

@Annacondas I disagree. A quick Google will show you just how common it is. This article referenced a study that found 1/10 UK men admit to using them whilst others have found numbers as high as 1/7. That's pretty common to me.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7634191/amp/White-married-men-high-status-likely-pay-sex-according-report.html

Guavafish1 · 14/01/2024 22:49

very very common

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