Are my kids naughty or normal

Also have you thought of taking something along to keep them distracted? Like colouring book or similar?

There's nothing worst than children running round a restraunt screaming, it does sound a bit like the children are running rings round you. You might be better meeting friends at indoor play areas untill you get the hang of it.

If you do go to a restaurant then the very small ones need to be in a high chair and the 3.5 child needs to be told to sit down and if good then can have an ice cream but if they don't have their listening ears on then no treat.

I had one that would sit and one that was a nightmare. One day we just picked the nightmare one up, after she refused to sit still in a restaurant and took her home. She’s now an adult and has never forgotten this. And she never played up again (although it was quite a while before we took her to a restaurant again).

I don’t think it hurts children to be bored for a while. I remember much of my childhood being screamingly dull - visiting elderly relatives and having to sit quietly while the adults talked. If I was lucky, I’d be allowed a book. I’m not saying we should go back to these days, but children should understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and there are times when they might need to sit quietly for a bit.

Children need boundaries AND love.

Two things struck me op. Running around a restaurant and chasing pigeons. Neither are acceptable.

Whether it spoils your trip out or not is irrelevant. Two warnings and a consequence - which is home, tantrum or no tantrum. Consequences once or twice lead to better times ahead.

I don't understand why one or both of your children has/have been allowed to chase pigeons. That requires a consequence. I do hope nobody thinks that's acceptable.

Examples of consequences: no sweets, no biscuit, no special TV programme, no screen time, time out, etc.

When I took mine shopping, the deal was if they behaved we might go to Mc Donald's for lunch, have a ride on Thomas, have an ice-cream, etc. If they didn't behave those things didn't happen.

My real point was that op shouldn’t compare her child’s behaviours with that of her friend’s. What we see on the surface isn’t always an indication of great or awful parenting.

I said that placidity CAN BE a sign of trauma. I didn’t say it IS a sign. Please leave me alone now. What is the point of this?

In that case rather than saying it IS a sign of trauma you could have stated that for you personally behaving properly was because you were subject to trauma that made you behave rather than assuming that normal parenting and setting boundaries which is the usual way to have well behaved kids is why those kids were behaving. It's rather too much of a jump to assume any kids who behave must have suffered trauma.

I concede it’s strange because most people were lucky enough not to have lived through trauma as children. I wasn’t so lucky, so the idea isn’t strange to me. But I’m taking us off topic and prefer not to go into this any further.

Sorry but sounds like your children need more discipline, particularly consequences of their behaviour, so yes that does mean sometimes you need to miss put. Most children would love to run around a restaurant but don't as they understand they can't. It's worth telling them how you expect them to behave before going and what the consequences will be if they don't and then if they don't behave follow through.

We have 5 daughters, all different personaliies, one in particular loves to push boundaries and we have had to keep a real eye on her, still do at 4 in comparison to the otters.

Good luck dont leave it or soften for an easy life. You will regret it when he is older.

Are they ALWAYS like this or what it just a bad day? I have 3. 6,4 & 2. Sometimes they’re delightful to take out and other times it turns into a total shit show. But my youngest is by far the most spirited and difficult to manage in settings like eating out. I think she’ll get better as she gets older they’re still so young. I wouldn’t consider her naughty just… into things 😂

You need to be stricter.
At the moment you are rewarding bad behaviour.
If you are strict for a couple of weeks- with no exceptions they will realise and life will get easier.

Experience of doing something many years ago vs having current or recent experience is going to be less relevant and recollections will be less accurate. That’s a fact.

The highchair comment is a really good example of this. You 💯 physically could not get a nearly 4 year old into a high chair.

🤣🤣🤣 No doubt the strange other poster will assume so.

Yes.

when I was a kid I was brought up so strictly that I never ran around or misbehaved. It made me a bit compliant in later life, which had its own problems.

There has to be a middle ground where kids are allowed to be themselves but are parented in such a way that makes them respectful of their environment and other people. I have no idea how you do this (child free) so will leave it to the experts.

Are you sure you didn't traumatise them?

I had 3 boys who behaved whe we were out because I set appropriate boundaries, all different personalities but still boys behaving. Sorry to dispel your stereotype 🙄

Again, more ageist shit.

Kids have always pushed boundaries.

Parents have always needed to nip bad behavior in the bud.

It's been happening since the dawn of time. It's really not new 🙄

I guess some things you don’t allow in the first place like running around in restaurants as it’s dangerous and really unfair to other guests. My brother and SIL allow my nephew to run around everywhere (airports, shops, restaurants) as he says he doesn’t like reigns, or being strapped into the pushchair but it just causes much more trouble for themselves as SIL can’t travel with him alone and her family live abroad. I traveled on trains when mine were little but they didn’t know running up the aisle was an option as they never did it. SiL commented how on a day out at a farm friends child of same age was so good compared to their child, and I guess it’s because they insist on time in pushchair, don’t allow running around (apart from parks etc).

Sometimes some kids are more chilled but if they know they can do it and that you’ll give in if they have a tantrum they will do it all the more. Mine certainly weren’t angels and I stopped taking them to the shops for years. I just did online shopping and grabbed things on way home from work.

And some boiled eggs are runny and some are not.

🤷‍♂️

You’ve completely missed my point.

It’s not about age. It’s about doing something a long time ago and having zero awareness / humility about that. You have no recent experience of parenting toddlers and it really shows.

Your kids sound a bit entitled and need to learn how to behave.
And no mine are not perfect they are autistic but still behave more appropriately!