Are my kids naughty or normal

Some little boys are naturally well behaved, one of my ds's is. But a high-spirited boy will knock spots off a high-spirited girl any day, sorry. If you haven't had one, then I just don't think you can understand. Boys and girls are, overall, different and the top end of boisterousness for boys is just another level compared the vast majority of girls.

OP, they will grow out of it to some extent, but some little boys are just not meant for sitting. Mine are an absolute delight if they're outside, running around. This is when they get to shine and you get to see the amazing traits they have that some other children don't (bravery, resilience, humour in the case of my boisterous boy).

Out of interest, are your friend's children girls?
ffs sexist nonsense, I have 3DD, 1DS and he was the best behaved of them all when little.

The same privilege extends to my post - I call it as I see it, so please feel free to jog on.

Lol. Why bother putting a statement out on the internet for all to see if your only desired outcome is for people to 'jog on' past it?

@DriftingDora I think you think you have the gift of reading minds too.

I know you can state what you want and I have the freedom to say your post was unnecessary.

It just is what it is isn't it. We can both write what we want, within the guidelines.

Well, snap! The same privilege extends to my post - I call it as I see it, so please feel free to jog on.

And how does your assumption make sense - do you have the gift of reading the OP's mind, or is it your usual guesswork?

I can state anything I like on here, thanks.

I think your assumption just doesn't make any sense.

Sound pretty normal to me, only thing i dont like is kids running about in restaurants

I couldn't agree more.

I've been at the receiving end myself of the perfect parents on here who are so 'strict and consistent' and whose children are silent in public.

What strikes me is that the thing that these parents are most afraid of, is their kid making a noise in public and them getting judged for it.

Who gives a shit honestly ? Just yesterday my 2 year old was having a tantrum in the supermarket.

That's what 2 year olds do !! You literally can't do much but wait it out. Lots of people looked, they always do, as it's loud. I don't really care. I'm doing my best. My child is growing and developing and this is NORMAL ! I need to go food shopping and sometimes it happens.

Get over yourselves and stay home if you don't want to hear a tantrum.

How do you know that? The poster says 'So go to different places'. This just transfers the problem elsewhere - and I rightly pointed out the dangers of allowing kids to run riot without intervention. This is something any responsible parent would know, without having to have it pointed out to them, but it seems that some people don't.

And who died, and made you head of the Thread Police?

@DriftingDora your reply is just so unnecessary.

That poster clearly means you need to remove the child from the situation and go somewhere safe. Home or the car.

So take the problem elsewhere and lumber other people with it - yes? What gave you the idea that everyone loves to be surrounded by feral children and an apathetic parent looking on (or gazing at their phone)? If your child has an accident in the street or a cafe or restaurant, caused by running around while hot food and plates are in use, will you blame someone else for it? Of course you will, it won't be due to crap parenting - oh no.

Don't worry.

All the mums will rue the day they were smug in ten years.

All My friends with girls and I mean ALL including myself are having issues with our teen girls now.

So it comes around.
💐

When my friend's (lovely but lively) boys were this age, her DH used to take them to the park to burn off some energy before breakfast. She said it was like having puppies.

This.

I ended up surrounding myself with parents of challenging children, similar to my DS, rather than smug mums with perfect girls.

Things changed a bit when I had a “perfect girl”. I remember being in a baby group with a smug mum who had a perfect girl first and then a challenging boy. It would have been easy to sneer at her in revenge. She’s one of my best friends now. My challenging boy and her perfect girl are now 20 and at uni. My perfect girl (and hers) are of course not perfect. They are both, however, a bit more compliant. Well, DD was. She learnt how not to be from her brother. 😂

Which is a good thing. (To a point!)

@User373433 yes all this absolutely.

this bringing back horrible flashbacks of when my older two boys were younger. They were just like this and normal parenting boundaries just never worked. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted and felt so judged. I also remember other kids (usually girls) behaving perfectly and feeling like the worst parent in the world I remember starting a thread just like yours on mumsnet and getting similar response and it made me feel a million times worse. Mine were eventually diagnosed with adhd and asd. (I doubt this is true of yours and not trying to suggest it.) just sending solidarity- parenting is hard and so much depends on the temperament of the kid. I think parents could do with a lot more support and less judgement.

Totally agree with this - "how to talk so little kids will listen" is a brilliant book with far more respectful and effective discipline strategies. Definitely worth reading OP.

I suggested strapping your 2 & 3 year olds into a highchair.

My kids are a little older than yours and i regularly get compliments on their behaviour.

They weren't always easy! The youngest threw loads of tantrums, after she was about 2 and a short cafe lunch was ruined by her behaviour we actually didn't eat out for probably 18m while we worked on behaviour at home.

Children actually prefer to know that adults are in charge and in control. It makes them feel safer.

They sound naughty yes. Parenting is hard.

No four year old would fit into a high chair! They will be well over the weight/height limit.

They are also big enough to have a fair chance of tipping it over if they are having a proper “kicking and throwing themselves around” tantrum.

However OP, I do agree that you need to have a firmer hand with your children - not shouting, not scaring them, just meaning what you say and sticking to it. I don’t often tell DS no, but when I do I mean it and he knows it. Thankfully now he is older (6) we only really have full-on tantrums once or twice a year when he is overtired or overstimulated, but I certainly picked him up under my arm and marched out of places when he was 2-3, and wrestled him into a pushchair more times than I can count.

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant there’s a boy we pass on our school run who walks along playing a game on an effing iPad. Like a zombie! It’s a miracle he hasn’t walked into a lamppost. Screens + Covid have done so much damage to a generation’s social skills.

I had a friend with a child the same age as mine so about 3 at the time. . She used to sigh and roll her eyes and say "what can I do? he just won't stay in his car seat!' The first time I took them out in the car with my kids he did exactly what she anticipated - he undid his seat strap and started to crawl around the floor of the car - on the M25. She just laughed and said "boys will be boys'.

I pulled off the motorway at the next exit, parked up and told him 'we aren't going anywhere until you are back in your car seat.' He started to giggle at first and then realised my kids weren't impressed, they wanted to get to Thorpe Park There was a long tense silence then he got back in his car seat. I strapped him in, we drove on and we had a great day out.

That was the first and last time I offered to drive them anywhere.

@Bewler

Agree. Went out to a restaurant recently, there was a father and son sitting beside us, the boy just played a racing game on a phone the entire time while his Dad awkwardly ate in silence. It was sad.

When I take my kids to the park, there are rarely other children there. I assume they are all on devices.

Could not agree with you more.

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant i notice it most when we go on holiday. Restaurants full of kids on screens with headphones and sometimes adults eating whilst scrolling. It’s so worrying! I know there are individual circumstances - work deadlines, children up late and tired… but there was just such a lack of interaction it was scary!