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Original poster

Are my kids naughty or normal

413 replies

Jingledog · 14/01/2024 12:47

I have a 2 year and 3.5 year old DS. Went shopping today and the 2 year was in pram wailing until he was given snacks and screeching at top of lungs.

3 year old wanted to do everything tap the card put food in trolley scan items etc when I did some too as he had a meltdown threw himself on the floor screaming and saying mummy I wanted to do it. Same in the next shop then running off after pigeons and not coming back.

Went for lunch ystrday with friend and who has kids same age they sat there nicely next to their parents at the table playing with some little toys and looking at books while mine ran loops around the restaurant cackling at the top of their lungs and wouldn't settle until I resorted to giving them screen time.

I have tried not giving in to them but the tantrums are extreme and long so sometimes give them what they want as my nerves can't take anymore.

Is it the way I've patented or is this normal behaviour?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jingledog · 14/01/2024 13:20

@SecondUsername4me we go to soft play and playgroups all the time makes no difference. I can't run them out in a field everyday before we go anywhere. But I agree I have thought the same that they need more of a run out before we do things but not logistically always possible. I know some people say boys will be boys but it's exhausting

OP posts:
bakewellbride · 14/01/2024 13:20

"I have tried not giving in to them but the tantrums are extreme and long so sometimes give them what they want as my nerves can't take anymore."

I think this might be the crux of the issue. You need to never give In to a tantrum ever, or they learn it works.

bakewellbride · 14/01/2024 13:19

I have never used screen time out in public and if mine misbehave they get 3 warnings. If they use up the 3rd they get taken straight home. Bad behaviour should have consequences.

Seadreamers · 14/01/2024 13:18

Some children are more ‘spirited’ than others. Meet your friend at a soft play or the park instead in future until your DC can reliably sit down in a restaurant/cafe and behave.

It is never acceptable to allow them to run around a restaurant/cafe and in this case they should have been put in high chairs or you leave the restaurant once you’ve given them a firm warning and they don’t comply. This kind of behaviour irritates the hell out of other diners and is dangerous for waiting staff.

Original poster
Jingledog · 14/01/2024 13:18

@GBBexperience yes 2 girls one boy

OP posts:
Ohdearwhatnow4 · 14/01/2024 13:18

Don't stop taking them places, as their never learn. And your asking the question now rather than in 7 years so I think that's good parenting. We our always learning

Original poster
Jingledog · 14/01/2024 13:17

@VenhamousSnake it would of been quite difficult to strap a nearly 4 year old into a high chair. I agree but I have tried talking to them and they don't listen I don't like to shout as I was shouted at a lot as a child and don't like to lose control it happens sometimes but scaring them is the only thing that seems to have some impact

OP posts:
Ohdearwhatnow4 · 14/01/2024 13:16

They will keep pushing the boundaries. My autistic son with adhd never ran around restaurants and if he had a meltdown coming on we'd go sit somewhere quiet until we could return to what we were doing. Even if it meant leaving my shopping. I found people were better if I was honest. I'm sorry I've got to leave my shopping as my son needs me but I will be back. I never used screen time as a reward but even child is different. You can explain to the older child what's happening and consequences at 3.5 he should understand. The 2 year old will follow the older boy

SecondUsername4me · 14/01/2024 13:12

Sounds like your dc need space to burn off energy rather than sit at a restaurant table or whilst shopping. Maybe meet at a toddler group / younger kids soft play?

Aquamarine1029 · 14/01/2024 13:12

I do think you need to work on discipline and modelling self-control. There are certain behaviours that should not be allowed, ever. Running around a restaurant is definitely one of them.

Sirzy · 14/01/2024 13:11

The key is how you respond.

but running around a restaurant is never acceptable

GBBexperience · 14/01/2024 13:09

Out of interest, are your friend's children girls?

VenhamousSnake · 14/01/2024 12:56

Its both. Its quite normal for 2 year olds to have tantrums. Your friend's children sound unusually placid - some children are.

But equally, how you react to tantrums will affect the extent to which that behaviour persists.

These are young enough children that if they keep running off/screaming on floor, you pick them up and strap them in with as little fuss as possible. Eg strap into supermarket trolley seat, or into a pushchair etc. Or you use reins/wriststraps so that they physically cannot run off.

In the restaurant you absolutely cannot allow them to run around. Why didn't you strap them into high chairs? Instead you essentially rewarded them with screen time.

If you give in they will run rings around you forever. You are in charge, not them.