Husband wants another baby

Just seen your answer. Having a child as a potential carer for your DC4 is a terrible idea. You'd do better to save the money you'd spend on a DC5 to pay towards any care DC4 might need later on in life which wouldn't be funded otherwise.

You’ve had 4 children and just let him get away with doing absolutely nothing for them. No way in hell would I have another!!!

Fucking hell. If that's why he wants another child he should start a savings account instead.
Employ a carer. Don't create one and train them from birth. That's, well, abusive is the word that comes to mind. The next three are bat crap crazy.

Welcome to the world my child. The sole reason you exist is to dedicate your life to the care of your sibling.

Tell your husband if he can find a way to become pregnant and give birth, be prepared to give up work and activities for an indefinite period, he can have another baby. Otherwise NOT.

Starting to think it was a wind up but you answered OP.

So, when you said his reason was stupid what did he say?

You come across as a little vague in your answers. Are you, do you think, emotionally beaten down by your partner?

This.

Why on earth does he want another one when he doesn't parent the four he has already?

Does he just like the number 5 or something?

Tell him to save up for a carer for your child with SEN rather than another child. He sounds thick.

You are both totally crazy to consider even for 1 second having another child.

4 is more than enough. What if the 5th also had health issues?

Look after the children you have and tell your husband to grow up

What if the next baby has special needs? Or you have twins? Or the next birth incapacitated you in some way. It’s not a risk I’d take in your position.

This is a very unkind reason to bring a child into the world. We didn't exactly want you but we needed a carer for your sibling.
Also you can't guarantee they would choose to do this when they are older. You have no control over whether your children so much as like one another when they are grown ups.

YANBU. I'd be getting the coil or something else similarly long term. Sounds like he's disappointed with DC3 and wants another "normal" kid. Disgusting.

What @Zombiemum1946 said!

OP I have just read out husband's reasons for wanting another child that's very unfair on another child. They are being brought into the world to help care for a sibling. My younger 2 children have zero caring responsibilities for my oldest child who is disabled. It's not there responsibility it's me and dhs. They are kids and they need to be kids. Also have either of you considered the possibility the child may also have disabilities?

Why does he want another baby when you already have 4 he's not hands on with. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why would he change for the 5th child?

If it wasn't such a horrible way of doing it, I'd laugh at this wind up. Stop being a dick OP

I’d tell him I’d consider another child once he has demonstrated he can pull his weight at home with his existing children consistently for 12 months.

i’d also be explaining that you fancy joining a gym so maybe he can drop a couple of session so you could go 2-3 x per week too…

As a mum of 3 children 1 who had significant complex additional support needs and has a husband who does pull his weight when he is home (I do most of the day to dat stuff as I a SAHM just now as my disabled child needs me a lot but he helps) i would say no.

Why does he want another child? I suspect he has zero idea of how much work they actually are because he doesn't do any of it. Do you want another child? If so I highly suggest you give him a 50/50 chore list/kids activity list/ care needs etc then tell him if he helps consistently for the next 3 years then you will consider it. I imagine within a month he won't want anymore kids.

P.S neither me or my husband want more kids because we both know how much work is involved with caring for them particularly a child with significant disabilities.

It would have been a no from me after the first once it became apparent the parenting wouldn’t be 50;50. You already have 5 children, your DH being one.

And what if it’s twins?

@gogogo21 Your choice. Can you just confirm you guys are not on any benefits and if in council house, you won't need to be rehoused to house a 5th Kid? Otherwise, crack on. DH's attitude is irrelevant.

And, if the two of you fund this lifestyle purely from your pockets with zero help from the state's benefits system- more power to you. Well, done!

Does he expect everyone in his life to just be a support human?!

tell him

1. not no but hell no

2. get a vasectomy

Good for you.

It's the most gross idea.

What a terrible idea. Husband sounds incredibly selfish.

Why on gods earth does he want another child, when he doesn’t even spend time with the four (four!! We have four and it’s bloody hard work!) he has?!