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Sick of Dds teacher

160 replies

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:10

Dd is 5 and in Pre school (we’re abroad)
She started to not want to go in, in October, she said the teacher was shouting at the children for not doing the work properly etc (I posted on here) I went in several times, plus Dh too.
The teacher said she didn’t shout etc etc, things got better.
This week, she’s been crying again at bedtime and this morning was crying not to go in again, I ended up getting out of her (eventually) that the teacher has been shouting at her (and others) if she puts her name in the wrong place on the paper 🤷🏻‍♀️apparently she shouts ‘Not there, over here!’
Dd was also upset as she says one of the boys in her class (one of her friends) is always shouted at to sit still and stop playing. I’ve seen this boy, he’s very sweet, but younger and obviously full of energy. I understand he has to learn to try to sit and not play during lessons and so on, but Dd says he cries and cries and his face goes red.
So sick and tired of going in to complain and nothing being done.
Dd finishes with this teacher at the end of June, but we want to stay in the school and have to re register to move up to the next part of school. I don’t want to take her out and put the chance of this in jeopardy, but equally I can’t put my Dd in this situation all the time.
This is not merely a teacher bashing thread, I’m a teacher myself and would
never get cross and shout it a 5 year old put their name in the *Wrong place on a paper!
What else can I do? I also need to work part time, so need to have Dd in Pre school
She adores her friends there, is very well liked, loves the teaching assistant, who she says is *Kind to her 😔

OP posts:
Gingerbee · 12/01/2024 17:15

Hi,
Did you post about the teacher before?
Are you in France?

WhollyGlorious · 12/01/2024 17:13

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:56

Where we are is a different culture, shouting likely wouldn’t be considered that unusual or wrong

This might be the issue. If you’re choosing to bring your child up in a shoutier/stricter culture, then this is part and parcel and you won’t get it to change. Some cultures are extremely strict even with small children, and so you might be hard pressed to find a gentler environment for her.

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 17:13

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:49

What i do is none of your bees wax plus you may not want to no.

I personally would love to know.

Its obviously a career where everyone are angels.

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 17:12

Theunamedcat · 12/01/2024 16:37

Doesn't make them nice people I've met horrific teachers shocking carers l nurses and a Dr who should have lost their jobs yes its "not all" of them but it does colour your views on the rest of them

Why would a few bad ones colour your view for an entire group of people.

I’ve met awful teachers, police officers, SAHP, cleaners and builders - I don’t judge the entire workforce on something that a few of them have done.

What a prejudice mindset you have.

What job do you do?

LondonQueen · 12/01/2024 17:10

I've had a parent say I was shouting at the class, I 100% don't shout and have asked my TA if I was doing it subconsciously! I think some children are more sensitive to tones of voice and perceive this as shouting.

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 17:08

@itsgettingweird She says she doesn’t always know where to do it. She’s 5, she makes mistakes, they all do, you don’t shout at a 5 year old for putting their name in the wrong place ffs.

OP posts:
Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 17:07

@Mariposistaa Yes…what would be the solution here though? The teacher tells me she doesn’t shout. I think she does.

OP posts:
Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 17:06

@1AngelicFruitCake Early years also.

She told me that some other children do it *Wrong and that they get told off too, she said some cry and some don’t. I asked what the teacher does when she and others cried and she said she does nothing.

OP posts:
Mariposistaa · 12/01/2024 16:59

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:56

Where we are is a different culture, shouting likely wouldn’t be considered that unusual or wrong

Here you have it. That’s the way they talk. The fact you don’t like it will be irrelevant to them.

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:49

1AngelicFruitCake · 12/01/2024 16:44

What job do you do? I’d be interested to know.

What i do is none of your bees wax plus you may not want to no.

itsgettingweird · 12/01/2024 16:46

Spirallingdownwards · 12/01/2024 16:08

I suspect what a 5 year old perceives to be shouting may not actually be shouting but perhaps picking up on impatience. Especially if their mum is gentle parenting!

This.

And let's face it. If we've told a child to do something over and over and they still aren't we all get impatient.

What does your Dd say when you tell her to put her name in the right place and the teacher won't get annoyed at her?

1AngelicFruitCake · 12/01/2024 16:46

OP which age do you teach?
Children can perceive a teacher shouting even if they aren’t. Then again this teacher might really be shouting, I think you need to speak to the teacher again and then the head or both together.

1AngelicFruitCake · 12/01/2024 16:44

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 15:53

I have my reasons.
Not all teachers are awful but i have met a few that are.

What job do you do? I’d be interested to know.

solsticelove · 12/01/2024 16:44

@Someonepaintmyhouseplease what you need to do is advocate for your 5 year old.

It’s not up to a tiny child to toughen up in my opinion.

The whole environment sounds toxic to be honest. Can I ask which country this is please?

Theunamedcat · 12/01/2024 16:39

Don't dismiss her but do as someone uptrend said and say dd feels unsupported

And if you know lovely boys parents maybe speak to them

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 16:38

It depends…in my line of work, I’ve met some real bullies as teachers and you do have to wonder why they went into the profession…such a shame for all the wonderful, kind, inspiring ones working their arses off and making a positive difference in children’s lives.

I really don’t want to go in and complain again, I hate doing it, but what can I do? Should I try to teach/show Dd how to be stronger and how to let it upset her less? How do I do that? I feel like then i’m dismissing her

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 12/01/2024 16:37

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 16:30

What an odd thing to say.

Why would you not like people who train to help other people’s kids?

Of course there are some teachers who are not nice people but on a whole anyone who chooses to have a career which helps people, are generally pretty decent human beings.

Do you feel the same way about carers or nurses?

Doesn't make them nice people I've met horrific teachers shocking carers l nurses and a Dr who should have lost their jobs yes its "not all" of them but it does colour your views on the rest of them

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:32

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 16:30

What an odd thing to say.

Why would you not like people who train to help other people’s kids?

Of course there are some teachers who are not nice people but on a whole anyone who chooses to have a career which helps people, are generally pretty decent human beings.

Do you feel the same way about carers or nurses?

Thanks have a good evening.

Nonomono · 12/01/2024 16:30

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 15:46

I dont like teachers.
But what i dont understand is that a teacher can get a way with shouting but a parent is called abusive if they shout at their children.
So why is it to be accepted at a school by a stranger.

What an odd thing to say.

Why would you not like people who train to help other people’s kids?

Of course there are some teachers who are not nice people but on a whole anyone who chooses to have a career which helps people, are generally pretty decent human beings.

Do you feel the same way about carers or nurses?

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:18

stomachameleon · 12/01/2024 16:12

@doublexegg you implied all..
You didn't say ' some teachers'
You said ' I Don't like teachers' as If we are just one lump.
Just strange.

I implied nothing your making something out of nothing or trying to.
I said i dont like teachers thats not meaning one lump.

stomachameleon · 12/01/2024 16:12

@doublexegg you implied all..
You didn't say ' some teachers'
You said ' I Don't like teachers' as If we are just one lump.
Just strange.

NewName24 · 12/01/2024 16:09

I agree with @givemushypeasachance and @Spendonsend

However, your post at 15.56 puts a different slant on things from those of us replying, with experience of the culture in the UK.
It seems a little bit like being unhappy at a culture of making all the children sit in rows and learn by rote - might not be what I would want for my dc, but if I were living in a country where that is how the "do" school, then that is what it is. You either use the local school or find an alternative.

Spirallingdownwards · 12/01/2024 16:08

I suspect what a 5 year old perceives to be shouting may not actually be shouting but perhaps picking up on impatience. Especially if their mum is gentle parenting!

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 16:05

Oneofthesurvivors · 12/01/2024 16:01

Which is not a reason to dislike all teachers.

I did not say all teachers.
I said teachers.

Oneofthesurvivors · 12/01/2024 16:01

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 15:53

I have my reasons.
Not all teachers are awful but i have met a few that are.

Which is not a reason to dislike all teachers.