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Sick of Dds teacher

160 replies

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 15:10

Dd is 5 and in Pre school (we’re abroad)
She started to not want to go in, in October, she said the teacher was shouting at the children for not doing the work properly etc (I posted on here) I went in several times, plus Dh too.
The teacher said she didn’t shout etc etc, things got better.
This week, she’s been crying again at bedtime and this morning was crying not to go in again, I ended up getting out of her (eventually) that the teacher has been shouting at her (and others) if she puts her name in the wrong place on the paper 🤷🏻‍♀️apparently she shouts ‘Not there, over here!’
Dd was also upset as she says one of the boys in her class (one of her friends) is always shouted at to sit still and stop playing. I’ve seen this boy, he’s very sweet, but younger and obviously full of energy. I understand he has to learn to try to sit and not play during lessons and so on, but Dd says he cries and cries and his face goes red.
So sick and tired of going in to complain and nothing being done.
Dd finishes with this teacher at the end of June, but we want to stay in the school and have to re register to move up to the next part of school. I don’t want to take her out and put the chance of this in jeopardy, but equally I can’t put my Dd in this situation all the time.
This is not merely a teacher bashing thread, I’m a teacher myself and would
never get cross and shout it a 5 year old put their name in the *Wrong place on a paper!
What else can I do? I also need to work part time, so need to have Dd in Pre school
She adores her friends there, is very well liked, loves the teaching assistant, who she says is *Kind to her 😔

OP posts:
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umar123 · 27/07/2024 15:40

OhwhyOY · 12/01/2024 21:38

I've no idea if it would be allowed or not but could you ask to observe the class for half a day, on the basis that you want to see how DD is doing in class so you can better support her at home? Suspect in the UK it wouldn't be allowed for safeguarding reasons. Otherwise could you speak privately to the headteacher about it and see if they can do something without a formal complaint?

No way the school would allow that

Sherrystrull · 13/01/2024 15:34

Asking a child to write in pencil in a specific place on their work is normal and everyday. If I'm going to cut work out, I want the name in the middle so I don't cut it off and have to give myself an extra job of rewriting names. If a child hasn't listened and done it wrong I would tell them.

It is also normal from nursery age to expect children to stop playing when you are giving instructions. We support children with time checks, count downs etc but if they are doing a task they love then it's always going to be challenging. It's no different to trying to get an older child off their gaming console!

I speak in a firm, clear voice. I don't shout but I am naturally loud and it could be construed as shouting. I am also quick to praise.

Children need to listen and follow instructions. This is basic expectations ensuring everyone learns. We support children with this.

Tomatina · 13/01/2024 13:51

Clarabell77 · 12/01/2024 20:05

It doesn’t matter if the teacher isn’t actually shouting, she’s making at least two children cry because of her teaching style, so something isn’t right. They’re 5 years old ffs. I’d go to the head teacher and make sure it’s properly addressed.

This thread seems to have been derailed by people arguing pointlessly about good and bad teachers. The poster I've quoted has got it right - it doesn't matter if the teacher was 'really' shouting or not. She may actually be a good teacher, but the fact is that the OP's very young daughter is crying at night and reluctant to go to school. At that age, it could be something quite trivial, but which nevertheless seems frightening at the age of 5. It needs to be sorted out. It would help if we knew what country the school is in, because cultural differences might explain a lot.

doublexegg · 13/01/2024 12:23

kisstheblarney · 12/01/2024 21:38

I don't! I challenge that sort of bullshit in real life also.

🙄

Sugargliderwombat · 13/01/2024 07:57

CountessWindyBottom · 12/01/2024 23:39

Have you simply joined the thread to be histrionic or do you have any useful suggestions for the OP?

My suggestion is don't follow your advice and start a bullying campaign against someone. If you have concerns about your child's anxiety approach the teacher and head directly, don't start gossiping with other parents.

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 23:47

@NewYearNewYak U.K. schools are amazing in comparison, much more nurturing and professional

OP posts:
NewYearNewYak · 12/01/2024 23:46

I know people moan about schools here but primary schools in most other countries are not as child centric as they are in the UK. France, Germany and Italy that I know of have a much more dry and rigorous approach. Lots of work that would be deemed too boring here, eg dictation.

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 23:46

@PaperDoIIs That’s exactly the approach we initially took

OP posts:
CountessWindyBottom · 12/01/2024 23:39

Sugargliderwombat · 12/01/2024 22:55

Are you serious? Launch a bullying campaign?

Have you simply joined the thread to be histrionic or do you have any useful suggestions for the OP?

Penguinfeet24 · 12/01/2024 23:38

My year 2 child says this about his teacher a lot yet I KNOW she doesn't shout (probably the least likely to shout I've ever met actually) but she is rather firm and I have worked out he just doesn't like being reprimanded. We have a bit of upset now and again about it but he's going to come up against a lot worse in life so he needs to learn to deal with this now.

Doesthishurt · 12/01/2024 23:30

@doublexegg
You are being slammed on here, people are piling on, someone upthread even said you are derailing the thread, but it's the poster (s) who are piling on who have derailed. There are some vindictive teachers who should not be in the* *profession.
The OP mentioned that the family live abroad, I know that in the UEA in particular, the equivalent of Ofstead there is even more stringent, not sure what the procedure would be to get rid of a bad apple in teaching, but the OP could officially complain to get the ball rolling.

PaperDoIIs · 12/01/2024 23:28

The thing is there is not a lot you can do if the culture where you are means that even if the teacher is shouting, it wouldn't be seen as wrong. How sure are you of that? Is the behaviour policy published on the school website?

I would have a chat with the teacher saying your DD is losing confidence ,feels very unsure of her self and she would benefit from more guidance,clear instructions and support. It's incredibly difficult to navigate this when they are still so little.

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 23:21

Actupfishy · 12/01/2024 23:11

What an utterly ridiculous statement

Ridiculous is them that keep this going.

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 23:20

Any chance we can keep it on topic please

OP posts:
Actupfishy · 12/01/2024 23:11

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 15:46

I dont like teachers.
But what i dont understand is that a teacher can get a way with shouting but a parent is called abusive if they shout at their children.
So why is it to be accepted at a school by a stranger.

What an utterly ridiculous statement

Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 23:10

Things did change for a while after I
complained, but it seems to be slipping again. Sometimes when I pick Dd up, the teacher gives her a big hug and Dd seems surprised. I said to Dd that it’s nice that she hugs her and she obviously likes her and Dd said to me that she was only nice to her when I was there. I believe my daughter.

OP posts:
Someonepaintmyhouseplease · 12/01/2024 23:07

@AitkenDrum1970 I’m a teacher too.

You have to agree that not all teachers try their best or are meant to be in the job.

OP posts:
BetrayedAuntie · 12/01/2024 23:04

@givemushypeasachance That's victim blaming.

Sugargliderwombat · 12/01/2024 22:55

CountessWindyBottom · 12/01/2024 22:22

Try and talk to other parents to establish if there is a pattern and if they are aware their little ones are becoming distressed because of the teacher. You then need to go to the Head.

Are you serious? Launch a bullying campaign?

adviceneeded1990 · 12/01/2024 22:26

@Someonepaintmyhouseplease

I think @Spomsored has given some good advice in general but I wouldn’t advise mentioning other children at all if you do speak to the teacher. Stick to discussing your own daughters issues. Only a certain type of parent mentions other people’s children during a school meeting and so it can easily give the wrong impression and turn the teacher away from listening seriously to anything else you have to say.

CountessWindyBottom · 12/01/2024 22:22

Try and talk to other parents to establish if there is a pattern and if they are aware their little ones are becoming distressed because of the teacher. You then need to go to the Head.

lovelycattus · 12/01/2024 22:17

Poor OP.
No real answers or suggestions, just one mad derailer poster and posters who will not ignore the idiot. Confused

stomachameleon · 12/01/2024 22:14

@Someonepaintmyhouseplease I would take your own advice and teach her resilience and the best way to react to criticism. You could make a statement of concern to the head but as you said it may not be well received. Hopefully the remainder of the year will pass swiftly.
Do you think the boys parents would complain?

doublexegg · 12/01/2024 21:56

Dontbehorridhenry · 12/01/2024 21:43

OK if you think your efforts are going to change her opinion and not derail someone else's thread, keep challenging.

shes just embarrassing her self.

Dontbehorridhenry · 12/01/2024 21:43

OK if you think your efforts are going to change her opinion and not derail someone else's thread, keep challenging.

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