AIBU to be upset she doesn’t remember my name?

I mean, I see you said that she is otherwise lovely, but refusing to grant you your own identity after all this time is not lovely!

Fuck that. No way does she not know what she is doing. I would bet good money that she is a flying monkey for dh's parents. While you stay meek and refuse to correct her she will continue to view you with contempt.

She might not like you.
She might have a mental block on your name. (mine is neighbours name - is it Julie or Julia...and I end up calling her No.86 instead ).
She might have a bad reaction to your name due to some kind of childhood trauma.

If DH wont/can't ask her then perhaps his mum can ask her, in a conversational kind of way.

EDIT - oh nvm you are not in contact with mum. Perhaps it's something to do with his LC with his parents. Does she blame you for that?

I'd say she knows fine what your name is, she just doesn't like you.

Every time you see her, say "Hi, it's x"
Get DH to point out things you say like "oh x just said". Correct it every time. "Oh no, my name is x, that would be like me calling you similar but wrong name" DH could say things like "would you like x to pass you..." something she needs. Broken record.

Hmm, whilst I agree some names can randomly cause a memory block, when I find myself in this situation with regular clients in work or neighbours etc, once it becomes awkward for me I make a note on my phone. When it's been 7 years and you are married there is no excuse for a card like that. If she really couldn't remember when writing it she should have just gone and checked. It's really odd? My mum and MIL are the same age as her, they are fairly competent on Facebook, WhatsApp etc keep diaries/address books. One is quite forgetful and I can imagine her doing this for a few years but not 7 and making it obvious by writing it in a card.

This would really annoy me! I think you should buy or make yourself a large name badge, and wear it each time you visit her. Also send your Xmas card to her to ‘Nan’ from ‘your grandson, his wife and their child’.

Lots of people are getting older, there's a whole range of stuff people have to remember in life, paying bills, getting shopping in etc. blah blah.

Don't take it personally. You'll be there one day.

Compassion is the key (and take a breather outside, pub, fag, whatever floats your boat).

You say she’s very kind, is that to you or your family? Because refusing to use your name is the height of rudeness and far from kind. If she can remember your DDs name it seems to be a deliberate choice to upset or belittle you.

Call her Dave till she remembers her manners.

Ooohhh, that's cheeky of her! She is definitely doing this deliberately. I'd call her out on it next time.

If she's refers to you as Emma/Bella/Ellie, I'd say, "Oh, no Nan! It's Ella. Because of your age, should we be concerned about your memory problems? This has happened a few times. We are starting to get worried."

And then make sure to look very, very innocently directly into her eyes.......

I wonder if your name has some sort of association to someone else she knows and doesn’t like? I had a bully at school called Caroline and now whenever I meet someone called that I automatically hate them 😂 Maybe she’s trying to avoid invoking those types of displaced feelings? (Might be a long shot and she’s just plain mean instead)

I have a mental block on some names, but she's taking the piss! In all these years and having seen your name written on cards etc, she's doing it on purpose now. Fair enough in person, it might slip her mind if she's a bit forgetful, but nobody writes 'and wife' on cards! Even 'Dh name and family' would be better! It's intentional. Confront her, you deserve to be treated better than this.

Ask her.
She obviously knows your name but refuses to use it.
I'd be too curious as to why to not ask.

Correct her incorrectly every time:
No, my name is Janet
No Ella here, I'm Margaret, remember?
Who is Emma, she a friend of yours?

Some people's names just slip out of my head repeatedly, no matter how hard I try to fix them in place.

It's never the person, it's always the name — something that has a lot of other names that sound similar to it or have a similar vibe to it, where I don't already know someone else with the same name, where there's nothing I can grab hold of.

YANBU to be upset, but assuming she's a nice person who gets on with you and isn't doing it on purpose, and doesn't have memory problems, it's almost certainly something about the name that makes it slippery for her, not something about you being unmemorable.

YANBU, I thought you were going to say she’s 90!

Then I thought she can’t help her memory but if she remembers her grandchildren’s name then she can bloody well remember yours!

Sounds like she’s being passive aggressive because she doesn’t acknowledge it when she’s being corrected.

I think you should just refuse to see her or send her any cards or presents. If DH wants to see her or take dd to see her, he can go alone.

Stop being a ‘wimp’ and know your worth!