AIBU to be upset she doesn’t remember my name?

Exactly. And this woman has been doing it for SEVEN years, so she was 65 when she started.

There seems to be a lot of missing the point that she isn't just getting OP's name a bit wrong, like June instead of Jane. She is so unbothered about calling her by her name or any, she wrote "and new wife" on their wedding card. When she was 65. And did not have early onset Alzheimers or anything like that. There is no way in heaven and earth that that wasn't a deliberate snub.

As an octogenarian I think your not meek and mild at all.

My daughter in law I've known over 40 yrs, we never had a cross word but the times I get her name wrong .I'll often go through a few names before I get the right one. Mostly they will be the names of friends I have just recently spoken to..Janet. june..ohh heck then say the correct name..we laugh and forget it while we carry on with the conversation .

I voted that you are BU as there is no way I would have let this go on for this long. I would simply say 'Nan, why is it that you never use my name or when you do, you get it wrong?' If she tries to wave you away, just say 'Seriously Nan, I really feel I want to know, as you always remember DD's name and she's only been here a short while, while I've been around for years, and yet you never call my by my proper name, and in all honesty I find it a bit offensive'. If she doesn't start using your name after that, then it's clear that she is intentionally being offensive, and then it's your choice as to what to do.

I hate to say this, but shouldn't DH be sticking up for you, and not just leaving it to you? If I were him, I'd simply be inclined to 'forget' to visit her until she acknowledges you.

No way is she doing it on purpose, its just a name she always remembers wrong.

What is wrong with some of you?? The woman is 72 - I have several friends of that age and older, and if any of them was on the receiving end of "I would put it down to old age" they would be none too impressed. I appreciate that as we age sometimes it's harder to remember names, but this is a family member for crying out loud. There are many people in their 70s still working - it might have been considered "old" once, but not now.

I'm sorry but nobody would write wife in a Christmas card. If she does genuinely keep forgetting it she would ask your MIL or another family member what it was to write the card surely. She must be doing it deliberately

My 70 year old neighbour called me the wrong name for years despite seeing me daily and me doing lots of of jobs for her and she was corrected by me many times.
I found it endearing and even though she is gone it still makes me smile when I hear it.

OP sometimes people can't help it, the association doesn't stick. It's annoying at best OP. If it really bothers you I suggest you get a hobby, I doubt she is disrespecting you and if she's doing it on purpose then she needs to get a life.

Not sure if she's doing it purposely but my 78 year old mum does this to her grandsons girlfriend. They've been together ten years, are now engaged and for the life of her she can never get her name correct. Thankfully the girl in question takes it in good faith. Think Hayley instead of Ayley. A very simple mistake but one she makes nearly 100% of the time.

The Nan of DH gets her name wrong. She is apparently otherwise “lovely”.

The Mother of DH wanted to smoke on baby and cast aspersions on the child’s parentage. 👍🏻

No she sounds like a genuinely horrible person and based on your context, doesn't like you and has made it known- the fact she question whether your DD was his child is enough.

I would rudely correct her next time, and/or refuse to sign my name on future cards

My little brothers dads family spent about 15 years calling me ‘Laurel’ but I think that was just pure ignorance.. I’d make a point of saying ‘me??? LAUREN’ hahaha I’d make a point of making little jibes but it never changed

Someone of 72 is more than capable of remembering the names of lots of people, and certainly family members You've clearly not met DH.

I have been with my DH for over 16 years, married for almost 8 years with a 7 YO DD. My MIL still calls me by my DH's Ex-Wife's name EVERY time I see her.
It used to bother me a lot but now I just smile politely as she makes a show of apologising, sniggering and eventually correcting herself. 🙄
BTW this is definitely intentional towards me as she wishes DH and his Ex never separated and still has a very good relationship with her. Also dislikes me and the fact that I am 15 years my DH's junior.
Find a way of coping with it is my suggestion, making a big thing of it will only end up with you looking like the unreasonable one, even though you're not!

I call my daughter my son's name and I'm 44, my mum calls me my daughters name or her sister's, she's 68.

My daughter’s name is Tamsin and she’s 8 now. My dad and sister both don’t know how to spell it, she got one Christmas card “To Tamzin” and one “To Tasmin” she’s a really shy girl and would never offend but she did say after they’d left that it bothers her. I, not shy, called them both out on it, took the Mickey for a few minutes and made several jokes about it. I think they’ve finally got the message!!

Hang in there, I don’t think there’s malicious intent but I feel your frustration. I think your DH needs to step in and have a word!

I'd take no notice, my nan's brother always called me Amy up until he died - my name starts with an H and isn't Amy 😂

Hard to say, you say she seems lovely otherwise, so it would a real snake-in-the-grass bit of pass-agg to deliverately not use your name. Does she have several GD-in-laws and thus might get them mixed up a bit? But I'd be annoyed in your position too.

My husband is 72. He manages to recall the names of me, our children aged under 14 and all of his friends, colleagues and acquaintances, the Dcs teachers and the bartenders at our local.

She's doing it deliberately. Push back and call it out. Don't take this shit.

Is this the hill you want to die on?

Honestly I think if she is otherwise fine, then just dismiss it as the foibles of a batty old lady.

I don't think it's worth refusing to see her or whatever.

Do this or send the next card and give yourself a different name each time you send one. Play with her mind.😆

I'd wear a name badge. When she asks why say you're both very concerned about her memory as she's not managed to get it right. Lots of concerned looks and talking loudly. Maybe that'll embarrass her into getting it right.

Yes we go round theirs too granted not quiet as often as we have more space for everyone.
They both have my phone no. What am i in their phone as??? And Facebook and Instagram??? They seemed genuinely in shock when I said it? I actually had to assure them that Julie was not my name!
I really want to not go.

Wow, that's bad! Do they invite you around as often?