AIBU to be upset she doesn’t remember my name?

A guy at work - let's call him Warren - used to get my name slightly wrong.

Think Louise instead of Louisa. He got really narked when I said "It's not Louise, it's Louisa. But Lou is fine," and persistently called me Lou-EEEZE, making it very obvious he thought I was the one with the problem.

So I called him Wayne. He hated it even more when the newbies called him Wayne too. One even wrote it in his leaving card! Knob.

So if you’re at her house and she offers you a cup of a tea she calls you ‘Sarah’s mum’ or whatever your daughter is called? And you don’t just say something? I’m not very confrontational but even I would just say ‘You can call me Ella you know, we’ve known each other a while’ and then just correct her everytime. It’s the height of rudeness

Buy a cheap T-shirt and get ‘MY NAME IS ELLA’ (or whatever your name is) printed in big writing across your chest and walk in with a smile on your face and ask her if she thinks this will help her to remember your name!

Writing ‘wife’ in card is so rude it’s likely deliberate. I wonder if you being LC with DHs parents has something to do with it? Maybe she blames this breakdown in family relationships on you? She may be projecting all kinds of negative stuff on to you that you’re not even aware of. I would say every time you go round there ‘hi it’s Ella’. And your husband can do it too. Treat her like she’s a bit slow and hard of hearing (even though I’m sure she’s not) and she’ll soon tire of her game as she won’t want to collude in her own apparent infirmity.

I'm genuinely amazed at how many people think this isn't a big deal or something worth being annoyed over. Getting a colleague or neighbours name wrong after being reminded several times is shitty behaviour this is next level ridiculous and anyone who thinks it's not deliberate or intentional and because she's 'old' is just being delusional.

Nah come on, she's taking the piss. Surely she can write your name in her address book so she remembers.

I’d ask her why she has such trouble with your name.
And then start wearing a name badge when you see her.

I know a gran whp called her 1st dgd by a variation of her actual name.
Corrected numerous times, had 5 kids, 12 grand kids and got everyone's name right.
Lovely person who spoilt the gk' s etc so cpuld only imagine her brain just didn't compute this particular name.

Oh so this! 😂

It is deliberate.

I'm not great with names either, but because I know this, I make a note, write it down and I don't forget it.

write all cards to her as "DH's gran"... only ever refer to her as that.... alternatively just ask her what the problem is

Someone used to do this to me regulatly at work when I was new, even though I wore an ID badge with my name on it (albeit hooked on my skirt pocket, however still visible). Funnily enough, she started remembering my name when I began addressing her by the wrong name.

I would try not to over think it, I have been married 21 yrs with DH for 25 and his nan still can’t get it right it’s also been spelt in many different ways never how it’s actually spelt not even a unusual spelling ect 😂 it’s now become a fun point of how weird will it be this time 🥴🥴

Next time you send her a card address it as
"To Nan, from Elle and Husband"
Easters not that far off if a birthday is a while 😂

Don't stress it, my grandma, would literally go through everybody's names, including the pets, before she got to my name. She did it with my sister and even our mum. I don't know why, she couldn't remember her eldest child's name, or her 1st and 2nd grand kids. But we learnt to just live with it.
It's akward her not knowing your name, but just keep writing your name in the cards, she might catch on, she might not. Who knows.
I did refer to a lot of mums at the sch gates as x's mum. But this was because I didn't know the parents name.

I think that she genuinely got your name wrong a couple of times and was (rightly/ corrected. But she has lost confidence with your name, sits looking at the blank card thinking "Ooh I got it wrong last time, I can't do that again, now what is it? Bella? Or Ella? No, I'm sure that was wrong. Perhaps Emma? I don't know, perhaps wife will avoid embarrassment"
She should of course ask, but I'm not sure it is a malicious mistake.

For all those making excuses this is nonsense, there's clearly nothing wrong with her memory.y SIL is just like this, she doesn't like you and this is her way of showing it. She knows perfectly well what your name is. I'd go NC, let your DH deal with her 🤷‍♀️

Don’t worry about it. Life is too short. My grandma always sent cards to my dad by his first name and my mum as wife, she knew my mum from their courting days she died at 92 and always sent cards that way to them. But she always referred to by name when they were talking. I never heard my mum complain about it.

It wouldn't annoy me, it's just a name.

Time to grow a back bone and ask why she never uses your name. Alternatively ask your husband to ask why she never uses it. The other option is spend the next decade or so as wife of dad's mum.

Start referring to her as 'Grandad's wife', 'Grandads ex-wife' or 'Grandads widow' depending on which suits her status the best. She will quickly learn to use your name.

I would not get upset about it. But it might be a good play to call her by a different name every time you speak with her (or if you write, then put in "Dear Whatever-your-name-is"). Also, enlist your husband's support and perhaps he can suddenly forget her name as well - all in a good-natured way. If she gets upset, just minimize it as if it's really nothing - but keep doing it until she remembers your name. The important part is do this while maintaining a happy, good-natured attitude. Because, really, it's pretty funny.

Please don’t take offense by this. , I have a great memory (people comment on it) but honestly can’t remember the names of my best friends child. He’s 10. I don’t know why and wish I could. I also struggle with my friends dog name. I don’t think it’s personal to you.

Ooh am getting all kinds of passive aggressive revenge fantasies on your behalf.

This is so downright rude. There's no excuse at 72, unless she is genuinely a lifelong dimwit. The fact that she knows dds name is a giveaway. It's dismissive of you.

Why not reciprocate by using dfil name and refer to her as "wife". Or just not bothering.

Hmm. I’d wonder if it was deliberate. I’d guess that she’s not a big fan…