Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why did you have kids?

97 replies

NewbieToThis · 09/01/2024 15:56

This sounds like a strange question to ask and a thread to start but I’m curious as to why you decided to have kids. Was it because you and your DH just generally wanted them or did you have them to achieve something in life or did you have them to fix or enrich your life etc?

OP posts:
Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 09/01/2024 19:06

Got pregnant by accident at 18 and thought f**k it, I’ll have a baby, what could possibly go wrong 😂

nothing went wrong by the way. She’s now 19 and at uni. Also have a 15 year old and I’m glad I did it when I was young.

Wellhellooooodear · 09/01/2024 19:03

I didn't have the biological urge that some people talk about but I knew I wanted a family. Best thing I've ever done.

Screwballs · 09/01/2024 19:00

Scared of being on my own when I'm old. Once I actually have him, I'm sure that'll mature into never experiencing love like it and OTT pride for ability to master basic life skills.

StopStartStop · 09/01/2024 18:58

I knew I wanted my own children from when I was around five years old. My dd was born when she was because my then husband wanted to be a father by the time he was twenty five.
Keyboard has gone nuts and won't do numbers or a hyphen.

Daddysgirl47 · 09/01/2024 18:58

I always knew I wanted kids. I was the one at family gatherings who was always with the little ones, I’ve always felt maternal. I was lucky enough to meet my partner young (early twenties) so by 30 I’d had both my children. They are my biggest blessing, they are truly amazing and I’m a better human because of them.

Wooloohooloo · 09/01/2024 18:53

Biological urge- just always knew I wanted kids. No particular reasons.

Dmsandfloatydress · 09/01/2024 18:36

Burnt out from work and fancied a break, husband desperately wanted one and life longing for itself. Its essentially a selfish choice not logical.

TinkerTiger · 09/01/2024 18:35

GooglyPop17 · 09/01/2024 16:07

Because I hate sleep

😂

Desecratedcoconut · 09/01/2024 18:35

I suppose I could stick a narrative on it but honestly, that drive was built in for me. I have three and my eldest is at college now and I still bloody love all of it.

frecklejuice · 09/01/2024 18:34

I wanted children from when I was about 18, a few of my friends had children young and I envied them so much! I didn't have a hugely happy childhood and I wanted my own kids so I could do it right.

In the end I didn't have them young, I met my now husband and we had our first when I was 30 then our second at 35!

I always just wanted to be a Mum and now I am I love it.

Falkenburg · 09/01/2024 18:28

I have two sisters and a brother and we had a wonderful childhood and are all close. We are also close to our cousins.

Having children has intertwined our lives and reproduced how we grew up.

I can't imagine not ever wanting to have had children.

tryingforbaba · 09/01/2024 18:27

A huge biological urge and just loved the idea of being a Mummy since I was a little girl.

It's a dream come true everyday x

FrillyGoatFluff · 09/01/2024 18:25

Glutton for punishment

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 09/01/2024 18:25

I had my first pretty young, looking back I think it was because I had an abusive childhood and just wanted unconditional love if I'm 100% honest.

iamstrugglingalot · 09/01/2024 18:25

I had my first in my early 20s and raised her as a single mum, and then I met my now DP in my early 30s and just knew I wanted to do it all again with the man I loved. Our youngest has completed our family in the best possible way 🥰

Shadowsindarkplaces · 09/01/2024 18:24

I was young, stupid, and convinced by now DH that I should have them young so we can do stuff together once they're grown up as I'd still be young. I was naive and didn't think it through.

Teddleshon · 09/01/2024 18:24

Just couldn’t imagine not having my own family, my children mean the world to me.

iamstrugglingalot · 09/01/2024 18:22

I needed to be a mum, it was a fundamental part of me. I thought I would do a reasonable job, and it gives me so much joy.

Pretty much all of this! Couldn't have said it better.

DGPP · 09/01/2024 18:21

Overwhelming urge. It’s not a rational thing. And it’s brilliant

tokesqueen · 09/01/2024 18:19

FOMO.
Best decision ever.

MammaTo · 09/01/2024 18:02

I realised on a trip the Lake District. We was having a lovely time just the 2 of us, but seeing people with kids doing all the activities and laughing away made a switch flip inside me.

brownbutterfrangipanetart · 09/01/2024 17:58

FOMO for me too

ParanoidJo · 09/01/2024 17:57

It felt natural and wonderful to become a Mum.

Mumof1andacat · 09/01/2024 17:52

Next step in our relationship, I suppose, after a house and marriage. It felt the 'normal' thing to do. I have never felt the biological urge to have a baby. I have stuck with one child. I would say it doesn't come natural to me, motherhood. Ds is 11 now. He's a great kid. Some days, I could pack a bag and run away still...🫤

sagalooshoe · 09/01/2024 17:47

I honestly don't know. I thought that was the 'next stage'. I didn't really think about not having them, I only ever thought 'when'. I wish I had thought more about the virtues of not having children. It didn't cross my mind back then.
I love my child but I worry that he will have to deal with climate chaos and accompanying societal meltdown.
I just keep telling him: everyone will be in the same boat (everyone in our town at least) in the hopes he'll just team up with his mates and survive and have some kind of mad mortal engines type adventure.
The guilt pervades sometimes though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread